Family Shit

Master has been reminding me that we should go see my father. None of us are really all that happy with him but given the fact that he has 75% control of what is going on with my grandfather and his finances we are all kind of just playing nice right now. I know that sounds horrible, but it's the truth. I love my dad. I really do. But what really gets me about it is that he's doing all of these things that no one else agrees with or is screwing people over and either a) doesn't give a damn, b) doesn't even realize it, c) a little bit of both depending on the topic. Anyway, I had been pushing it off and pushing it off but finally I just bit the bullet and sent him a text. About two hours later he responded. He said that we could visit this week but that it would have to be after Thursday because he's busy.

Keep in mind that before this bitch came up from Arizona he had always told us that whenever we want to come over is fine. And he wasn't kidding. We could pick basically any time of any day and he'd be cool with it. He may push it back a hour due to a doctor appointment or errands but that was it. Ever since this bitch came up though it takes him forever to get back to someone and/or make plans with. But when you talk to him or see him all he wants to do is talk about and/or show you all the things he just bought.... with Grandpa's money. Well, to be more specific the money that he got from selling Grandpa's house. The money that was supposed to be used to pay for Grandpa's care but instead my dad cashed out one of Grandpa's retirement accounts to pay for that and kept all of the house money.

And while he may not see it this way, to me it's pretty fucking rude to start talking about all these things you just bought when you know the person or people you are talking to are struggling. Example #1: I'm currently unemployed. I have no extra spending money of any kind. Example #2: My brother works a minimum wage job.

In both cases my father does not seem to notice and/or care that he is talking about all of this and showing us thing after thing after thing. And none of it is even necessities. Nope. It's all junk that he wanted. I get it. You have money. But not only are you not offering to lend a helping hand to either of your children but you are also rubbing our flat ass broke faces all of this shit your recently purchased.

*deep breath*

Anyway....

We're going to see him Friday. And I know I have to play nice.

Aside from that not a lot is going on. My grandfather is no longer have good and bad days. He doesn't have good days anymore. They are all bad. Either he is sleeping the entire time someone goes to visit or he has no idea who you are. Then there are the times where he is just flat out hallucinating. And there are also the times where he doesn't know what things are... such as a napkin. He'll ask you what it is. Or he'll ask you what the silverware is and why the fuck it is in his room. He has also told my mom that the little praying teddy bear in his room talks to him at night and that no one believes him.

I would rather be dead than be the way he is now. I just wish his body would give up the ghost. This isn't life. This is existing. And it's not even a quality existence.