September 22, 2014

Waste Of Time

Well, that was a huge waste of time. We had been waiting for my great aunt to get into town and basically bring the wrath of god down on my father's head. She got into town on Friday but no one had heard from her. Then on Saturday we were waiting to hear from her but nothing. Sunday rolls around and finally she stops by. We all met up at my mother's house.

We sat around and made small talk for a little while. It had been years since I've seen her. I haven't seen her since before Master and I got married and we've been married for seven years now. And her daughter who came with her, I haven't seen her since I was a pre-teen.

Anyway, finally we started talking about Grandpa, her brother. Once that was done we started talking abut my father. She pretty much just sat there and nodded her head and made little shocked noises every now and then.

She hadn't seen my father yet and she didn't plan on even talking to him. That is not what she had told my uncle. Apparently somewhere along the line between her leaving California and getting here she decided that it wasn't worth while and that she would just visit instead. I'm glad that she got to see her brother but I'm pretty pissed off about her not talking to my father and actually not seeming to care any longer about what he is doing or how we are affected by it.

She did inform us that she is not coming back for Grandpa's wake and that in fact she won't be coming to Wisconsin again. This was basically a goodbye tour. I'm upset that she isn't coming to Grandpa's wake. He didn't really have a lot of family left outside of those of us that are here and that's her brother. She should be there. But nope. She has decided not to show up. That is her choice. She'll have to live with it.

After she left we were all in disbelief and pissed off. Not only because of what she wasn't doing but because everyone had put their entire weekend on hold for her... all for nothing basically.

Even though it is only 24 hours later I am trying to just brush it off. I've been pissed off and upset enough lately. I don't need to add her to that list. I'm just trying to focus on what is going on now and on what I can actually do something about rather than on things that have my hands tied.

I have a dentist appointment on Thursday. I'm getting four teeth pulled. I'm not looking forward to it at all. In fact dentists scare the living hell out of me due to past experiences. But this has to be done and there is no way to get out of it. It probably could have waited a little while longer but I might as well get it done and over with while I can. Plus, the more I would have pushed it off the worse the anxiety would be as it would have a longer period of time to build up.


  1. Regarding the dentist, see if your therapist will give you a disassociative or a sedative or if you can even go to a dentist that offers that. I have HUGE dentist fear but I go to a sedation dentist and I don't even remember the visit. I take some pills and BOOM - I'm at home!

    1. The dentist I made the appointment with won't knock me out due to the bipolar medication I am on. He said it is because he wouldn't be able to control my airway. My shrink pretty much agreed that it basically wouldn't be safe unless I could have a breathing tube and I can't since well, they are pulling teeth so the tube would obviously get in the way. My shrink gave me Valium 5, which is an anxiety pill. I don't know how much it will help but it is better than nothing.

  2. Goodluck kitten, your very brave to be weathering this shitstorm so well and focusing on the good stuff in you and your M's lives.

  3. Oh, where do I start?

    Firstly, I am disappointed that your great aunt wouldn't knock some sense into your father.

    Second, I am surprised she isn't coming to her own brother's wake......I believe she might come to regret that. My grandmother didn't go to her own daughter's memorial.....someday she may end up regretting the decision. When my brother died nothing would keep me from his service...I had never been on a plane so of course I was scared but this was my brother, I would have done anything to be at his service.

    Third, good luck with your appointment! I'm sorry that they won't make you fall asleep during the procedure, I will be thinking of you tomorrow!

    One last thing, how's your pup? :)

    1. Angel,

      I really appreciate everything you said. I really do. I know that if a very close family member, such as a sibling (I have a younger brother), passed away there would be no way in hell that I would miss it.

      As far as the pup he actually had his last dose of eye drops today! Hooray! He is doing great. Thank you for asking! :)

    2. Kitten,

      You're welcome! And yay for puppy! So glad he is off his eye drops!