June 27, 2014

Nervous Energy

I know I haven't had anything interesting going on with my blog lately. It's just been normal fucking shit. And guess what? Today is no different.

I've had a lot of nervous energy and having a hard time sleeping. I've had to take a benadryl before I go to bed just so I can sleep. Master has been trying to make me laugh which I greatly appreciate. For the past few nights we'll curl up to go to bed and He'll start making small jokes and making me laugh. We'll banter back and forth for a while until eventually we both settle in and try to fall asleep. I already know that I'd be going out of my damn mind if I didn't have Him. He tries to make me smile and hasn't complained about my sudden bursts of nervous energy over the past few days. I'm sure it's annoying. Hell, it annoys me. But He hasn't complained or gotten short with me about it.

I got some good news today. I received an e-mail asking me to schedule a phone interview for a job I applied to a couple of days ago. I scheduled it for the earliest one they had which is Monday around noon. I'm hoping it leads to my getting the job. I've never been unemployed this long and it's sure in the hell not helping my nervous energy.

I had called my dad today to see if we could come down and visit but he was really upset. Apparently his long distance girlfriend was having some kind of last minute heart surgery today. That's all he knew. He had no further details and I know that was driving him insane. She is 10 hours away so it's not like he could just rush off either.

While I was talking to him he actually started crying. I am not exaggerated when I say I have only seen/heard my father cry a handful of times in the course of my 31 years. So hearing him cry really surprised me. He asked if he could call me back later. I of course said that wasn't a problem.

I didn't get a call back from him after a few hours so I just shot him a quick text. Apparently his girlfriend made it through okay but he didn't go into any details. He then asked if we wanted to stop by at Grandpa's house tomorrow to visit with him.

I sighed when I read that text. I already have plans to help out my mother tomorrow. And in addition to helping her we are also going to a cell phone place because my mom is switching companies and I am on their family plan. As a result I need to pick out a phone and also bring down my old one because, thankfully, they will be transferring the phone number with it. I say thankfully because that is the only phone number I have listed on my resume and all of the job applications I've tossed out. If that wasn't the case I wouldn't care.

But when Dad stated that he could probably use some help out there tomorrow too I responded and said I could be there between 4pm and 4:30pm. I'm hoping to be done at my mom's before 3pm but with having to help her break down after her rummage sale is done and then going to the cell phone store I have no idea. I'll be getting to her place around 11am to help her during the sale.

Originally Master was just going to stay home but now that my dad said he may need help tomorrow out at Grandpa's we are wondering if He should come with in case it involves lifting anything heavy. I responded to dad's text asking him that but I haven't heard anything back yet.

I just know that it would be a long day and the dog would be alone and not able to be taken out for an extended period of time since we'd leave her at 10am and who knows when we would be getting home. I don't know. I haven't heard back from him yet so I just sent him another text.

I also just received a message from Dad's girlfriend giving me her cell phone number so we could talk or text. I knew her when I was younger, back when my mom and dad were still married. When I got that message it honestly surprised me. I mean I've messaged back and forth with her on a social media site a couple of times but that's about it. And if we were to talk over the phone I wouldn't really know what to say. I would prefer text. *shrugs* I don't know why but I would feel more comfortable that way. I didn't respond to her yet. I don't know if she wants to get closer and stay in touch because she knows my father and I are close or what... It's just a little odd. Then again I may be reading too much into it. She was always nice to me. She may just wanna keep in contact because well... just because. Who knows.

Long story short tomorrow is going to be long as hell. Not really stressful... just long. It's not like I'm dreading it because I'm not. I just need to know whether or not Master should come with. The stuff with my mom was planned on Wednesday but this thing with dad is very obviously last minute. I know I don't have anything going on. After all, the only things I've really been doing that are important are tossing out job applications. And I've always told my dad, since Grandpa went into the hospital back in March, that if he needs anything he can count on me... So... yeah. I'm not going to turn him down just because my day will be longer. Plus, maybe having a longer day will burn some of this nervous energy off rather than sitting at home and just kind of dwelling on it.

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