February 19, 2014

Vicious, Lovely, & Interesting Cycle

I've noticed since this past weekend I have been feeling more docile than usual. And I am, I think, showing it more as well. I have a different tone of voice when I'm asking permission for something. I can't really explain the tone. It's not like I was being bratty before while asking for something. This just has a different feel to it. I hate it when I want to describe something but am unable to. *sigh*

Oh well. I think Master has noticed as well. He seems to be reacting to me a little differently as well. Again, His tone of voice is a good example. I also have had a different kind of body language. Nothing huge. Nothing highly noticeable but I would say it is an improvement.

Oh! Before I forget... Master had read the post that said something about my landing strip that I am currently growing out. I had thought it was too wide, or at least wider than He would want it. He very casually brought it up. I had just finished doing laundry and Master was putting away His clothes and out of no where said, "By the way, the landing strip isn't too wide. It's fine."

It took me a minute to full process what He had just said. Not because it shocked me that He read the post. He reads all of my posts. It's just that it was so casual and out of no where that it took me a bit. Once I finally caught up I just smiled. At least now I know and don't have to worry about it. I still think it's a bitch to keep straight though. I don't know how guys do it! Hell, Master has a goatee and He hardly ever fucks it up. It always looks so nice and perfectly trimmed. It's weird. He can do that and I have a problem keeping a landing strip straight. What the fuck?

But since I'm under orders to grow it in I get really paranoid while shaving. I know that sounds really fucking stupid. But if I fuck it up, it's not really something I can easily fix. That has happened in the past when He had me grow it in. I dipped into it with the razor more than I had meant to. After that Master told me to just be clean shaven again. He did seem a bit disappointed at the time. Not pissed off. He didn't reprimand me and He didn't seem to be disappointed in me exactly. I think it was more of a disappointment of having it gone already. He always has me switch from one to another. Most of the time it's my being clean shaven.

Enough about my pubic hair and/or the lack there of.

I wonder if I feel different and more docile because of the anal sex itself or the weekend as a whole.

Anal sex is always something that makes me extremely docile for quite a while. I'm not sure why. Maybe because I know how much it pleases Him. Maybe it's because it seems more submissive than regular fucking or a blowjob. Don't ask me why. I'm not sure why and maybe it's just me. I don't know if other slaves feel that way about it. I also don't know if it's the fact that He is the only one I have ever done that with. I think that's part of it for Him, in so far as how turned on by it He gets.

I don't think it was just the anal sex though. The whole weekend seemed to be more dynamic based. Not as in He was barking orders and I was groveling. It was more subtle than that. And since I feed off of Him and He feeds off of me, the more one steps it up a notch the other matches it. Hell, sometimes it surpasses it. It's a vicious, lovely, and interesting cycle.

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