August 12, 2014

Really Bitch?

I missed my blog post last night. I honestly didn't realize it until about midday today. I told Master that I was sorry and that I had thought it wasn't due last night but rather it was due today. He told me that He understands as there was a lot going on yesterday so He decided not to remind me and just allow me to do one today instead.

Yesterday was just absolute hell. I won't go into most of it because well, I don't want it on the blog. But trust me... it was bad. His mother didn't help the situation but it wasn't too bad. More irritating than anything. But then today she really got into it with Master. They both basically took the kid gloves off until finally she just said that He doesn't want to listen to what she has to say meanwhile she was the one cutting Him off and completely ignoring most of what He was saying. She is such a cunt.

If you say anything that she doesn't agree with or doesn't understand she does one of two things. Either she gets on her high horse and basically says she knows everything and she is always right or she'll climb up onto a cross and play the martyr. This time she chose to get on her high horse.

We have so much going on and none of it is pretty. Not one damn part of it. But rather than at least attempting to be sympathetic or offer to assist in some way she would rather just kick us while we're already down.

That bitch has never had to worry about a damn thing in her life. I am not exaggerating at all when I say that. She will tell you she has but trust me, that's her trying to act like she has it so hard while she is taking cruises twice a year or chilling at a Mexico resort for almost a month. And her life has always been that way. She's never had to worry about anything. Not money, not lack of support from others (emotionally), nothing.

Meanwhile she sees us and the many different and stressful situations we are in and she would rather tell us that we should do x, y, and z and when we literally explain to her the reality of why those things are not able to happen she tells us that we are making excuses. I'm sorry but it's not an excuse if there is literally no way in hell for it to happen. An excuse is when yeah, we could but we're not going to and we're going to make up a bullshit reason to get out of it or create sympathy for ourselves. No. That's not how we are as individuals or as a couple.

Hell, she has even deemed herself fit to talk about the situation regarding my grandfather telling us that we shouldn't be thinking about our feelings but what is best for him. Excuse me?! I think of nothing but what is best for my grandfather. My entire family is only wanting what is best for him not for any of us.

When we say we wish he would go peacefully it's not so that our emotional pain will end. It's so his emotional, physical, and mental pain will end. He is in constant and severe pain and it takes everything he has to eat the food they are mashing up for him so he can swallow it, and that's only when he decides he wants to eat.  He absolutely refuses to be spoon fed. If anyone tries he will cuss them out and tell them to leave. Since he has a DNR in place there isn't anything that any of us can do about it. We can't force feed him. We can't put in a feeding tube. The most they can do is offer him food to see if he wants to eat it and put supplements in his water so he is at least getting something in his system. He is always drifting in and out of the here and now. He gets so pissed off and is easily confused. He is sleeping more and more. His skin tone is that very pale but yet gray tinted color. He is down to 120lbs. Keep in mind he is 6ft1 and was always a very strong man. He drools on himself and basically can't function without constant assistance. That is not a life. That is waiting for death and apparently death is taking it's time with him. There is no hope or possibility for him to get better. It will only get worse. The doctors are basically just waiting for the time where they can cover him with a white sheet and pronounce him dead. Until that point they are just trying to make him as comfortable as his DNR will allow.

I suggested to Master that we just shouldn't respond to His mother anymore. At least not until things calm down. No calls. No e-mails. Nothing. Just let us deal with our shit without her adding to everything. It's not my mother so I can't just tell Him what to do. I just expressed my opinion on the matter.


  1. Oy, mother in laws can be so awful sometimes.

    I'm sorry about your grandpa--it's hard on everyone when the soul is ready to go but the body hangs on past its time.

    1. Yes, they can. Although this is the worst she's ever been. It hit both of us like a ton of bricks.

      Thank you. It is very hard on everyone and I hope his suffering ends soon. Not for our sake but for his.