December 5, 2014

Move Along

I've been pretty bummed lately. Not depressed. Not even close to being depressed. But just down and bummed. I try to joke around as much as possible because I feel better when I do. But then things settle down and I go back to being bummed. I don't know how else to describe it except for bummed. I also feel spread out and scattered.

It's nothing that anyone is doing. It's nothing that I'm doing. It's all circumstantial. The weather also isn't helping. Due to the weather I either wake up with my sinuses killing me or a pounding headache. If I'm lucky it's both. Today was just the headache.

The whole situation with my Grandpa is really getting to me. I just want it all to be done. I want him to be at peace and for us to be able to grieve and figure out all the other shit that will occur after the fact. Which, quite honestly, sounds like it is going to be ugly.

Not working is not helping either. Income would be nice. I'm making all the paracord items and yes I have sold some, which is nice, but I want something reliable. And it's not like I'm getting rich off the paracord. Trust me, I'm not. But I enjoy doing it and I have made a little money. It's better than nothing.

I know the whole bummed and scattered feeling is showing on my face. Several people have told me that I look tired and pale. Well, I'm naturally pale so when someone tells me I look pale, that's pretty bad.

I'm not sick. Aside from the headaches and sinus pressure in the morning I feel fine. *shrugs*

Tomorrow Master and I are going to go see my dad for a little while. I'm not totally looking forward to it but it gets me out of the house. We'll also be stopping at the craft store I go to because I asked Master today if it would be okay to make our dog a collar out of the paracord. I made one for a customer and I like the look of it. Master said it would be fine so we'll be picking up the things I need there before we go to my dad's. Then later on tomorrow night or maybe Sunday I'll make the dog collar. I hope it turns out nicely. If it doesn't I'll have to take it all apart and start over.

Master has been trying to keep me laughing. It's not like my life is all woe is me. It's not. But right now I can't shake that bummed and scattered feeling.

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