Music

This post is going to basically be about random things so don't mind me if it seems all over the place and about subjects that have absolutely nothing to do with one another.

I haven't been able to stop running my hands over His freshly cut hair. I'm sure eventually I'll get used to it and stop. Well, maybe not. *shrugs* Although I didn't do it while He was eating me out the other night or while we were fucking. No real reason. I just didn't.

Have you ever heard a song that makes you think of your significant other? Most people have. I have plenty of those kind of songs. Now, have you ever heard a song that made you think of the dynamic you're in? I have some of those too. My most recent one is by Avenged Sevenfold. It's called "Scream". When Master first started buying their CDs I was always asking if it had that song on it. I had heard it on the radio and played it on YouTube repeatedly. Apparently I had heard the song before Master did even though it is a band He has recently gotten into. Now He seems to think about the song the same way I do. It may not be for the sames reasons but all I can say for sure is that now when it comes on He cranks it up to the point where the bass is shaking the side mirrors. I love it when that happens. I like a lot of bass in my music. If you have ever heard the song maybe you know what I'm talking about. If not, listen to it and see if you agree. I don't know if the M/s or BDSM lifestyle undertones were intentional? Hell, I don't even know if I'm the only one making that correlation.


Since I started making that website for my paracord items I've been surfing through templates since I ended up making it on a blog rather than a free website host. While doing it I saw quite a few that I thought looked pretty kick ass for my actual blog. I'm proud of what I've made for this but at the same time I get that itch every now and then to change it. This one is rather simplistic as well. I sometimes like it a bit more.... complicated? Involved? Interesting? *shrugs* I'm not sure what the right word is.

I know that Master doesn't really give a shit. And I could just be thinking about it for no reason. There have been plenty of times where I thought I wanted to change it to something else and then when I did I ended up changing it back immediately. That's why eventually I just made a test blog so I didn't have to keep fucking with my actual blog.

I also get this way about my blog when I'm bored. And I have been. So maybe. Who knows. It's entirely possible. It's also entirely possible that I'll scrap the idea entirely and leave it how it is. I sometimes wonder if people who read here get annoyed when I change the theme of my blog. I mean it's obviously the same blog and it has all the same content but the look of it changes. But as long as I like it and Master doesn't mind it's not that big of a deal.

Thoughts & Ideas

Have you ever had sex where you start to feel like you're going to fall off the bed but you don't say anything because it feels amazing and also, you know that you aren't actually going to fall off the bed? I did a couple of nights ago. It has happened in the past. Our bed isn't pushed up against anything. At our old place my side of the bed was pushed up against the wall. Where we are now though, it's not.

So the other night Master and I are fucking and at one point both of my feet got tangled up in the sheet and comforter, which was actually kind of amusing because I knew that if I tried to just yank them out I would end up either kneeing Master in the stomach or kicking Him. Either way it wasn't a good thing. But Master was attempting to move my legs so finally I just said, "Master... the blanket..."

He chuckled and unwrapped both of my feet before continuing to move my legs to where He wanted them.

A few orgasms later and Master had me laying on my stomach with one leg straight back underneath Him and my other leg bent at the knee with His knee pushing at the back of mine. We were very, very close to the edge of the bed. Well, not all of us but both of our knees and my one hand were. He scooted me back once but as we continued our knees became very close to the edge of the bed once more. I didn't care because I knew I wasn't going to fall and apparently He didn't care either because He kept going.

The sex was amazing, don't get me wrong, but it is always kind of amusing to look back on that kind of stuff.

In other, non-kink related news....

I was discussing my paracord with Master and I wanted to know what He thought about me trying to sell them online. I would take custom orders through a website I made and would charge my normal rate along with shipping. I have only been selling them locally and while it is going well, it still isn't much of an income. I figured that maybe if I offered shipping I would make more. What I have been doing, since it is local, is meeting up with people in person.

Master thought it was a pretty cool idea. There is no telling if it will actually take off or not but hey, it's worth a shot. It's not going to cost me any money to at least try. After all, it wouldn't be a typical eCommerce site because everything I make is a custom order. It would just be a form they would fill out and it would shoot me an e-mail with it.

I started to build a website last night for it but ended up hating the service it was under, so I deleted it. I made another one today but again I didn't like the service it was under so I deleted that one as well. As a result, I think I'm just going to make one on Blogger and call it done. Like I said, it doesn't have to be an eCommerce site so where I put it doesn't really matter. The problem is getting it to where I'm happy with it. *sigh* Oh well. It gives me something to do in addition to making the paracord items that people order from me locally.

This, That, & The Other

Not much has been going on. I've not been feeling well for the past couple of days, and yes it has put a damper on things. It hit me out of no where. I was about ready to just lay down and fall asleep when all of a sudden I felt the urge to be sick. And sure as hell, once I got to the bathroom I was sick. Thankfully it was only the one time but I still felt off the rest of the night. The next day I didn't feel nauseous anymore but my stomach felt like I had a rock in it.

I feel a bit better today. But I've been tired a lot. *sigh* The weather isn't helping. Especially with the whole feeling tired all the time part of it. It is cold as fuck outside. And whenever it is that cold I feel tired. Today is worse than usual but I think it is mainly due to the fact that I didn't sleep well last night as well as my not feeling well for the past few days.

Master has been very kind and allowing me to nap. He wakes me up after a while but even a half hour here or a hour there is appreciated. I hope that tomorrow I feel like everything is back to normal. Ugh.

The other thing that is kind of fucking with me is that I had a very, very short period this past month. It was less than a full day and it hasn't come back since.

It talked to my mother about it and she told me that most women in her side of the family hit pre-menapause in their early 30's. Well with me it would be extremely early 30's since I'll only be 32 in March.  For all I know it was a fluke. *shrugs*

I do remember my doctor telling me that when I got fixed (my tubes burned) that my period would most likely get a little unpredictable as I got older. I got fixed back when I was 21. Wow. I honestly hadn't realized that it's been almost 11 years already. Huh.

Anyway.. like I said it might just be a fluke. If it happens again, meaning this month, I'll probably go to a doctor just to make sure. With it only happening one time I don't think it warrants it.

Disrespectful

This post isn't really about anything in particular. It's just random things that have happened in the past couple of days.

It has been a full week since that place I applied to started the background check on me. They had told me that it can take anywhere from seven to fourteen days. So I'm sitting on pins and needles about it, keeping my phone on me at all times. I'm really hoping to hear from them soon. And obviously I'm hoping to hear that I got the job. I'll know when I know and I won't be contacting them about it any time soon. I figure that it will come across as bothering them. *shrugs* So that's all I can do. Sit. Wait. Repeat.

Yesterday my brother contacted me asking if we were bored. Yep. We were. So he asked me if we would want to go to see a movie. Sure, which one? He wanted to see Annabelle. I had no problem with it but I thought Master wouldn't want to go because He hates porcelain dolls. They creep Him out. Surprisingly He said He would go. I think it was more out of boredom than anything. We got there super early like we always do but we got awesome seats. Thankfully, because the movie has been out for a while now, there were only a few other people there. I always prefer it that way. It is a lot less likely to be annoyed by other people there if it isn't jam packed.

I can't say that the movie was great. But there were a lot of jump scares. I mean old time horror movie type jump scares. You know the ones where it does a very sudden loud noise along with something visual that is very sudden? Yeah. That kind. And they were cheap jump scares at that. However, we all had a lot of fun because we were laughing at each other and ourselves. It has been a very long time since any of us have literally jumped during a scene like that in a movie. The first jump scare they had we all jumped pretty badly. *laughs*

It's always fun to go see a movie with Master and my brother. We've done it several times over the years. 

After that was done we had dinner. My brother went home and Master and I chilled the rest of the night. It was nice to get out of the house and to have some fun.

Today however was annoying. I had got a new cell phone earlier this year. At the time I bought it I also bought a new cell phone case. I hate having a cell phone without a case on it. Especially with how thin smart phones are these days, I just feel better with having a case on it. Well about a month and a half ago the phone just popped out of the case while I was using it. What the fuck? The phone dropped but thankfully didn't break. I figured it was a fluke so I just popped it back into the case and thought nothing of it. Since then it has happened a couple more times. This last time I finally had enough and I called the store where I bought the phone and case at. I asked if I could exchange it. They said I could trade it for the same one. I asked if I could just get a store credit towards a different one instead because I didn't want the same one due to the problems I've had with this one. They said it wouldn't be a problem.

So I got a hold of my mom to see if she would come with because her name is the one on the account. It's a family plan so that everyone saves money. She had no problem with that. We get over there and I very nicely talk to an associate there. He told me that they can't give me store credit. I informed him of what I had been told on the phone and he said he would be back in a moment and that he would check on it for me.

Thank you, I appreciate that. I wait, and wait, and wait some more.

He comes back over and tells me that since my phone is last years model they no longer carry accessories for it, but their website does. Okay, that's great. Did you talk to someone about the store credit? No...

Seriously? That was the whole reason you walked away in the first place. If you weren't checking on it what the fuck were you doing for so long? I immediately asked for a store manager. I was pissed but I remained calm.

The store manager comes over and the employee I had been dealing with stands right behind him. I start to explain the situation. As soon as I bring up the fact that the employee had told me he was going to check on it for me and came back and hadn't I was cut off by the other employee. He starts cutting me off and talking over me. I had enough. I started swearing and telling him to allow me to finish talking and that he was basically calling me a liar when I'm not. Meanwhile the store manager is just standing there allowing this employee to be disrespectful to me. I then turn my attention to the store manager and ask him basically what he is going to do about it.

Long story short they told me that all they could do was ship me a free phone case that was the exact one I have now. I explained I didn't want it. They basically told me I was lying about what the person told me on the phone and that I was lying about what the employee had said. I was getting so pissed off that my voice was literally shaking. I had my last word and walked out. My mom stayed behind because it is her name on the account and she wasn't going to allow them to treat me that way. About ten minutes later she walks out and told me that she didn't get any further than I did and that she would be calling corporate. She has all the cell phones, her cable TV, and her internet through this company so for two of their employees to act that way towards either of us is unacceptable.

When I got home and had calmed down a bit I looked online and found a case I wanted. I ordered it as soon as I found it and will now wait for it to come in the mail. For now I'll just have to be extra careful when handling my phone.

Apparently my mom called corporate and corporate is pissed at the two employees and told my mom that they would be calling that store and that they would get back to my mother within the next 24 to 48 hours with a resolution.

When I vented to Master about all of this He said He was sorry I had to get that pissed off. And I know it sounds stupid because it was over a cell phone case but for two employees to be so disrespectful, regardless of the subject at hand, is unacceptable. We'll see how that goes.

But at least I have a new one on the way.

Not A One Stop Shop

The weather lately has been fucked up. Some days it would be warm if it wasn't for the wind kicking up. Other days it's not windy at all but is still chilly as hell. The past few nights Master and I have been cold. Not freezing. We just bundle up more at night and then wake up cold to the point where you want to wrap the blanket around you before you even move.

The heat around here isn't the greatest so last night we borrowed a space heater for our bedroom from a family member. It worked wonderfully. The one we used to have wasn't nearly as good as this one. Plus the last one we had wasn't meant to be run frequently. It was more for when you were out in a garage or something along those lines. The heat sucked at our last apartment too.

We thanked our family member for allowing us to borrow the one we had and I asked where they got it. They told me that they didn't remember but knew some stores that sold it. As a result my family member and I went shopping for it today. I thought it was going to be one quick stop but it didn't end up that way.

It ended up being the following:

1. We ran to the store to get dog food as I realized how low we actually were.
2. Went to the gas station.
3. Stopped at the grocery store to buy bagels.
4. Stopped at Sam's Club to see if they had it. They did but for way too much money. We ended up picking up a few other things while there.
5. We had to stop at an ATM.
6. We stopped at Lowe's. They had that one but was actually $50 more than what Sam's Club had it for.
7. We went to Menard's and they had it in stock! It was till more expensive than I expected but by that point I figured I might as well get it since we had already gone to so many places and I didn't want to borrow it again.

Now we have one and I don't have to worry about it. It even has a remote control in case you want to be incredibly lazy.  It's still in the box as we haven't decided whether or not we will need it tonight, but it's nice to know we don't have to worry about it now.

Busy, Busy, Busy

Yesterday we went out to my grandfather's. When my dad had originally asked us to come down he stated that it was so we could sort through things to get them ready for the estate sale. He asked us to be there between noon and one. No problem. We got there just a few minutes after noon. My uncle had been pulling things out of the basement for a couple of hours before we got there. But there was a lot more to bring up. I helped where I could but a lot of it was either too heavy or too awkward for me to carry. I felt bad about it but there wasn't really anything I could do and both Master and my uncle are obviously used to my limitations when it comes to things like that, so there weren't any hard feelings. However, my father didn't show up until almost 2pm, which was annoying. He didn't really help all that much because by that point Master and my uncle and had pretty much gotten it all. So my dad and I stayed upstairs and I thought we were actually going to start sorting but instead my dad just went through a couple of boxes and found a couple more small things he wanted to take. He did however find a watch of my grandmother's that he thought I would like.

I wasn't sure which one he was talking about but as soon as I saw it I knew... It was a watch that my grandmother wore and it was my favorite. She had quite a few watches, but this one was my favorite. It's a watch with a mother of pearl face. It has four rings that you can switch out that screws onto the face. It has a regular gold one, an onyx one, one is tiger eye and the last one is abalone. It was my favorite when I was a kid simply because you could switch them out. It had been sitting in a dresser drawer in it's box for at least 20 years so it obviously needed a new watch battery but other than that it is in beautiful condition. I took it.

In fact today I took it down to a local jewelry store. I got the battery replaced and I had as many links taken off of it that I could so it would fit me. My grandmother's wrists were quite a bit bigger than mine. It fits now, but it fits more like a bracelet than it does a watch. That's fine. They couldn't make it a tight fit because of how large it was to begin with and how large the links themselves are. My wrists are tiny. I typically don't like gold (it's gold plated) but in this very rare instance I think it looks really nice. I plan on wearing it when I'm not at home. I don't see the point in wearing it around the apartment when we are surrounded by clocks.

Anyway.. back to yesterday... 

Shortly after my uncle and Master were done bringing stuff out of the basement and putting them where they could we all sat down outside and talked. By the way, I don't think my grandfather ever threw out a Christmas tree before buying a new one. Holy shit...

After a couple of hours of sitting and talking Master and I looked at one another and He said, "If there isn't anything else to move we should probably get going..." Apparently that's all they wanted to do that day so Master and I headed home. Then my dad calls me today. He caught me between our running errands. I had just returned from getting the watch done. I told him that I had gotten it resized and that it works now. He was very happy to hear that. He called to ask if we would be able to come down again next week to help sort. I said yes, as long as I don't have a job interview. He told me that it would actually be sorting rather than just bringing stuff up out of the basement. He told me that he wants to get it to the point where after that day all they have to do is set stuff up on tables for the estate sale and that's that. Whether that's what actually happens I don't know. I asked him if he knew what day and he said he had to wait until either this upcoming Sunday or Monday because that is when they know my uncle's work schedule. I said that was fine.

After I got off the phone with him Master and I went grocery shopping, took the dog for a walk, and then did the dishes. I also had to pick up our dog's heart work for the month. It's been a busy day.

After I did my last post Master commented on it. He was basically glad I had come to that conclusion. I have tried to keep the leash in mind and I think I'm doing okay. Master hasn't said otherwise. And honestly I do feel better now that I am doing so. Master appears to be a bit more relaxed since then too. Granted it's only been two days, but still. I can already feel the change in my own stress levels.

Getting Lost

I've been pretty irritable today. And part of yesterday as well. I'm sure part of it is because I should be getting my period soon. Hooray. But I know that's not all of it. The rest is just well... everything. I hate being at a stand still. And that's exactly where I am. Constantly. And I have been since April. As time goes by it's only getting worse. And lately it feels like I'm sitting on a live wire and just waiting to get electrocuted. I'm not sure if that's the correct way to describe it but that's the only way I can think of doing so. The talk Master and I had not that long ago helped... But each week that goes by it builds up just a little bit more and another week goes by and it gets cranked up a little bit more. I know it's not His fault and I really try not to be so tense and irritable. But I really don't have a way of letting it go. For some reason my body isn't allowing me to cry. So that outlet isn't there. I want to scream, but can't. And I don't mean scream at someone I mean just one long wordless scream. I mean I could but the cops would most likely get called thinking I'm being murdered. My screams get pretty damn high pitched too. It would probably make Master's ears bleed. *laughs*

One thing that I want to do I can't really. I would love to just lay down on our bed with the lights off, door closed, ear buds in, with bass heavy music cranked. I could just close my eyes and focus on absolutely nothing at all. I love getting lost in music. And to me that's the only way to do it.

The reason why I can't is because we don't have anything to play music on except for our computer. I have my smart phone but that takes up some of the data plan, since we don't have wifi. I'm pretty sure I can't download and/or upload any music to my phone without a SD card, which I don't have. Actually, I'll have to look into that. This phone is still new to me. With my last one I had to have an SD card and I never bought one because I felt that it would be a waste of money. I still think it would be a waste of money.

I would love it if I could just lay down in a dark room with some King Diamond, Alice Cooper, WASP, Rob Zombie, and KISS blaring in my ears. I would be one happy chick. Listening to heavy music has always helped me. I'm sure a lot of people can relate to that. Which is exactly why I'm listening to music on the computer while I'm doing this post. I can already feel it helping. I keep rolling my neck and stretching out my arms and arching my lower back a little bit. It's helping me loosen up a little bit. I don't feel as tight.

Anyway.. the odd thing about this whole tense sensation is that I have known for a long, long time now that there is nothing I can do about it. And for a good week or so I was fine. But now it seems to be building up again. I hate my brain. I hate the situation that I am/we are in. I want to get away from it for a little while but I can't. It's not something I can just walk away from for a little while. How can I? After all it's not something I can control and it's not even a thing as it's a situation. And it's not even a situation I can walk away from. I'm surrounded by it.

Headaches & Positive Thoughts

I've been popping Tylenol like fucking candy for the past three or four days now. If it's not something with my back, it's something with my shoulders, if it's not either of those it's my damn head. Currently, it's my head. The weather has been up and down. The pressure is making my head pound. It was cool enough that we didn't even really need a fan on for most of last week and then finally last night we took the fan out of the bedroom and put it out here, which worked fine. But tonight? Tonight we had to actually turn the air conditioner on. I didn't think we'd have to do that for a while. But I don't need Master or our dog getting sick from being overheated. And when I'm feeling hot I know damn well He and the dog are roasting. We all feel a lot better after turning it on. In fact I'm a bit chilled but Master and the dog are very comfortable and that's all that matters.

Ever since we got the paracord bracelets and I realized how comfortable they are and how inexpensive they actually are, I've decided that we are going to give them out as holiday presents this year. At least to most people. I know that a few people in our families won't want them. But hey, then again they have paracord key chains too.. So ya know what? That's what people are getting. Paracord.

Every year we pretty much get all of the adults the same thing. This past year it was tins with candy in them and the year before that it was coffee mugs. It's just really easy to do and makes the whole process a lot less stressful. Master was making fun of me about it because it's only June and here I am talking about holiday presents. *laughs*

*shrugs* At least it's a plan. And I honestly don't know why the hell it popped into my head.

Onto a completely unrelated topic...

I'm going to have to figure out when I'll need to refill my prescription. I'm getting them through the manufacturer right now since I am unemployed and don't have insurance. They sent me a three month supply and I'm eligible for six months worth. I'll have to call them and find out how that process works. I don't know how long it takes them to send it out and I sure in the hell can't run out before I get the next order in. They'll have to send it to my shrink's office so it'll be a two step procedure. They ship it to them and then my shrink lets me know they receive it. After that I have to haul my tail in there to pick them up. I have plenty of time right now, but I just want to make sure I stay on top of it. I'll give them a call sometime tomorrow to see what happens from here.

I also have that test on Thursday for the 911 position I had applied to back in March. This will be the second test. I passed the first one, which was a data entry test. This one is a mock call center test. I know that there are at least three more steps after this one, should I pass it, and I'm really hoping it picks up soon and that I get the job. I need a job as soon as possible and unfortunately I just haven't landed one yet. I'm hoping this pans out... I am also hoping it pans out soon. Everyone I know is wishing me luck and telling me that I'll do great and to not stress myself out. The most common advice I've received is to just relax and focus. Damn good advice if you ask me.

I'm still applying like crazy to other places, trust me. I don't really know why I'm not getting calls back. I have a 100% steady job history. This is the first time I've been unemployed except for when I was going to college.

But there are also how many other people applying to the exact same jobs? There are a lot of people looking for work and every employer has a shit ton of resumes and applications to sift through and can pick and choose from there.

Something has to give. I'm not panicking yet, which actually is pretty fucking amazing given how my mind works. I'm trying to stay as positive as possible or I'll be a jumbled mess curled up in the fetus position in a dark corner.

Ramblings

It seems like I'm doing a post for absolutely no reason at all more and more lately. Hell yesterday I did two, technically.

Anyway, my brother came up to visit today and we did end up going to see Godzilla. It was slow moving honestly. And there was hardly any screen time for the Big G, unfortunately. I mean I didn't hate the movie or anything. But I was disappointed. From all of the hype, it was not what I was expecting at all. I'm not saying I regret going. After all, if nothing else, I got to go out and have some fun with my Husband and my brother. My brother stayed long enough to have dinner afterward, which was cool. He had to go home shortly there after because he has to work in the morning, which I totally understood.

In regards to my mother's husband, he is back at home. They are pretty sure it was a really bad case of heat stroke. They are sure that it wasn't a heart attack or a stroke but they still want him to go to a cardiologist. That is basically because he hasn't been taking his blood pressure medication the way he was supposed to for over a year. He had a stress test and all that and did okay. But they just want to know what's going on so he'll be going to a few doctor appointments in a rather short period of time. He's not too happy about but my mom basically told him tough shit. She called me at 8:30pm and asked me what I thought she should do in regards to him working on Thursday. The doctor told her that he shouldn't be left alone for the next 48 hours and that he should take it as easy as possible. His job isn't really physical at all but I told Mom that if I were her I would make him stay home. After all she has all of the ER and discharge paperwork so if his job really wants to be a dick about it she has something to prove that this happened. He may not like it but sometimes ya just have to put your foot down. And I'm not saying that simply because she is in a "vanilla" relationship. I have pulled shit like that on Master in the past when He's been really ill. The dynamic goes out the window when it comes to His health.

I also discovered that the Contact Kitten page wasn't working. Apparently when I had to redo the code on the blog I forgot to put that particular string of code back in. *sigh*I fixed that and thankfully it was easy to do. I hate it when I miss something like that. So, if anyone has tried sending me a message I'm sorry but I didn't get it. But it's fixed now!

We haven't received those paracord bracelets I had won last week yet. I won them last Tuesday and they said they would be in the mail the next day. So it's officially been one week since they said they would be mailed. I know that there was no mail on Monday due to the holiday so I'm hoping they'll be here tomorrow. I know they were free, but still.. I figure if they aren't here by Thursday I'll message the place to bring it to their attention. I was hoping they would have been here by now, but hey.. shit happens and like I said they were free so I can't really bitch too much. I was flipping through their website and Master found one that He really wants. It wasn't eligible to pick from when I won them so I figure we'll order that one for Him after I get a job. And then I'm going to buy myself a Furrybone figurine. Obviously neither of those things will happen until I have some time under my belt at the new job.

Master had commented on how I've been cranky and somewhat pissy most of the night. He told me that He understands that I'm on the rag but still...

So I thought it would be best to hop online while He's playing His video game and blast some music into my ear buds while I'm typing this out. I'm not sure why I'm pissy. I'm sore but that's pretty much it. There isn't anything going on. I'm not mad at anyone. I'm not pissed off about anything in particular. So I figure it's probably a mix of hormones and being sore. *shrugs* It's no excuse of course, but that's why I'm blasting some music. That normally helps when there is really no rhyme or reason to it. I don't think it has anything to do with the fact that I'm bipolar. It's not one of those "I'm going to rip someone's head off" type pissed off for no reason moments.

I do have to say that the music is helping and I actually feeling a lot calmer right now. I don't know what it is but sometimes that's all I really need.

Changes

Master is always picking on me about not being able to leave things alone in regards to my blog. And He has reason to. I mean come on... how many times over the years have I changed my blog's look? Let alone hopping from Blogger to Wordpress and then back to Blogger. I've lost count. Then again I've been blogging since 2007... so... yeah... But ever since I've settled on the background (finally) I've been very happy with it. And I've got all of my widgets set to where I think they are perfect... There was one thing that was bothering me. Yes, I know. Hush. It was what is called a Gravatar. It's that image that shows up next to your name when you are commenting on a blog. I like mine to match my blog as much as possible. When this blog was purple, it was purple. But now that it is orange I felt the need to change it. I had it as something rather basic. It was a black background with an abstract tiger face on it. But for some reason, it just wasn't interesting enough to me. So.. I found this one:

I think it is much more interesting... Love it.

Anyway...

Other than that, and my changing a couple of things on Master' pet project per His request, there isn't a lot to report. There are a couple of family things but I don't want to go into that right now.

I will say that our sex life has taken a serious nose dive. It's not anyone's fault. It's just everything else going on. Kind of kills the mood ya know? But since sex is a great stress reliever it is missed. Now that things have settled down a bit, not a lot, but enough, the sex drive is kicking back in slowly. Hopefully we'll fool around tonight. It all kind of depends on how we feel a little bit later on. Master's back has been bothering Him and my lower back and shoulders have been bothering me. It seems as if it's not one thing it's another.

One good thing that happened this week is that I took a data entry test for a job I applied to a while back. They wanted 6,200kph with a 95% accuracy. Thankfully I got my results right away. I had 10,680kph with 99.7% accuracy. *beams* I know that may come off as a shock since I seem to fuck up shit when typing out a blog post but when it comes to a job, for whatever reason, I type a lot better. It's not like I'm not trying to type well during a blog post. It's just that there isn't that sense of urgency. I don't know if that's the word I really want to use but it's the only one I can think of. Yes, my blog is important and I take pride in it. However, I am more relaxed about it. After all this is supposed to be something that is enjoyable.

In so far as the job goes, it's going to be a lengthy process in order to find out whether or not they want to hire me. There are, I believe, a total of five steps. That was step one. They said I would hear from them in a week and a half to two weeks. At that time they'll let me know whether or not they want me to proceed with the process. Master says that if they don't they are insane simply based on my test results. I'm not trying to sound smug but I have to agree with Him. We shall see. After all, it is only the first step in this process.

Brain Glitch

Okay first, I would like to say that I am driving myself crazy with trying to figure out if I want to keep the background I have for my blog or find a different one. I won't lie. Even though I haven't been able to make up my mind I've been hunting for a different one anyway. Ya know, just in case I happen to stumble across one I like better. And I already know I'll end up doing it again at some point today. After all, I like driving myself crazy apparently. And I do have that test blog to experiment with so I don't have to worry about messing with this one unless I'm absolutely sure I want to. So at least I'm not driving everyone who reads here crazy by dicking with the background constantly. Master picks on me about it. He doesn't get mad He just laughs and pokes fun at me. He also knows that I'm trying to keep my mind off of other things. I'm glad He is so understanding. The only thing I do know for sure with this blog is that I really like the orange. I've never had orange on my blog before so I'm grooving on it. Plus my "name" is Coyote's Kitten. And when I say Kitten I am referring to a Tiger, because I love them. Also I am fascinated with them. And Tigress just sounds silly. So orange is rather fitting, if I do say so myself. Why I never used orange before I have no idea.

Okay, enough about that since I'll be driving myself crazy with that later. On to the next random subject!

This is going to sound stupid as hell, but this thought actually kicked up in my mind last night because I was watching an episode of Jerry Spring. It's a guilty pleasure okay?!

Anyway... there was this supposed "Dom" on there and he was wearing a collar. It's not the first time I have seen such. Hell, I've seen it in porn. Whether it is a female or a male the "Dom" wears a collar. To me a collar has always symbolized the submission of the person wearing it and a symbol of the Dominant's ownership of said submissive. As a result seeing a "Dom" wearing a collar kind of makes my brain glitch. What. The. Fuck.

If Master, and this thought alone makes me want to laugh, ever wore a collar I would freak out. Trust me that will not happen. Ever. It wouldn't even happen in some crazy as hell parallel universe. Just no. Nuh-uh. No way.

I just don't get it. Maybe it's because of how Master has used me collar in the past. He'd yank me around by it, grab it to pull me close, move me around like a rag doll, etc. and so on. Maybe it's because of how I view the thing itself. I don't know. But to me if a Dom of either gender is wearing a collar it just makes me think of the Dom being yanked around by it which isn't Dominant at all in my eyes.

Can anyone possibly explain this concept to me? Master doesn't understand it either but then again He has the same view point I do about a collar in general.

**Update** This update is in regards to my blog background. I think I finally figured it out. Master helped me pick it out. I think it is a lot more interesting than the last one. Now hopefully I can stop messing with it.

Fuck All

I pretty much did fuck all today. It was my day to take the dog outside all day, but aside from that I only left the apartment in order to go pick up my anti-crazy pills prescription. Master has allowed me to pretty much just laze about. We've been watching Netflix all day. A couple of TV shows here, a movie or two there...We also exchanged back rubs, which was nice.

This morning I got up when the dog woke me at 7:30am. I stayed up for about an hour and a half before deciding, fuck it, I'm going to try and get some more sleep. Master was still asleep. Weekends are the days where if we have no where to be, we sleep in rather late.We don't get a lot of sleep during the work week. I didn't wake back up until almost noon. I wasn't expecting to sleep that late. I thought I would doze off for about an hour and then get up. I guess my body had other plans. Master woke up about the same time I did. I guess He was just as tired as I was.

I really love sleeping in but sleeping the whole day away kind of sucks. Not so much on Saturdays, because I can stay up as late as I want to. But on Sundays it is nice because I don't have to get up to an alarm or anything along those lines, but then it's like I have no time left to enjoy before I have to turn around and go back to bed so I can go to work the next day.

Ugh.

I honestly have no idea why the hell I'm rambling on and on about sleep. Probably because I have no idea what to post about and sleep has been on my mind all week since I've been getting so little of it.

I'm Normal... For Me

Remember that whole "That Girl" post I did? Not to mention that "Self Image" post. Well, something else made me think of it. It happened yesterday actually. We went down to my dad's as soon as I got home. I literally walked in the door, grabbed a soda, grabbed some other items that I needed,  and then Master and I went back out. As soon as we got there my dad smiled. He is always so happy to see us.

We sat down for a few minutes and talked a little bit. Then we decided to get down to business and get the eBay stuff done and over with. I'm glad we got to it right away though because Dad wanted to list a lot more than I thought. As a result, it took longer of course. But it was early enough that we could hang out for a few more hours. It would have really sucked having to leave as soon as we were done.

Side note: When Master read the "Self Image" post He said that He's happy I'm feeling more comfortable in my skin again.

And I thought about that as we were sitting there goofing off. I do feel more comfortable in my skin and as a result I'm more like myself. I never hold back on my personality when I'm around my dad. After all, he's pretty much the same as I am regarding sense of humor and tastes in the more morbid things. But I guess I just feel different now. Odd, isn't it?

So, I'm feeling pretty good and I think Master has noticed it as well. He's been smiling a lot the past few days when He looks at me.

Since I'm feeling more comfortable in my skin I decided fuck it, I'll start letting go of that whole "I don't want to be that girl so I'll hold back on x,y,z."

We are on a social network website and most of our family members and friends are there too. So I posted the following picture on it:

I know it may not seem like much, but it's a step for me. Everyone has always known I'm odd. And I'm not sure why that picture makes me proud of the fact that I even posted it. Maybe because it's Wednesday Addams. I looked up to her and Morticia Addams when I was young. Hell I still do. Who the hell am I kidding? They are my image of a kick ass girl/woman. Talk about being comfortable in your skin! These bitches didn't care and thought they were the normal ones! Love it!

Jam Packed Saturday

Well it looks like this weekend is not going to be the weekend off I thought it might be. Next weekend will be!

My dad had just visited this past Friday and yet when I talked to him Sunday he asked if we could come down. *laughs* He wants to do more eBay stuff. So we'll be going down there on Saturday. Since we'll be in the area anyway, we'll be visiting my mother before hand. It's just easier instead of trying to visit on separate days/weekends/etc. Oh the joys of divorced parents. But at least they live within 20 minutes of each other. My mom is actually on the way to my dad's house, which is kind of funny.

I've been taking to listening to music on my ear buds while I'm doing my blog posts lately. I don't know why. But since that day I just needed to zone out and decided to handle it that way I've realized how much I missed listening to music while I'm dicking around on the computer. So, it's kind of become a habit. When I go to do my post I almost immediately grab my ear buds.

I ask Master if it's okay first of course, but He hasn't denied me yet. Since I'm using my ear buds it doesn't matter to Him what music I'm listening to.

We normally have the same taste in music but there are one or two bands that we almost totally disagree on and of course there are random songs that I love but He hates and the same in reverse. So, normally when I'm listening to music on my ear buds I play the stuff I love but He hates. Everyone is happy!

Anyway....

Aside from Saturday being jam packed, the weekend is rather uneventful. At least we'll have Sunday all to ourselves and after that next weekend should be completely free. Yay!

Random Saturday

Today has been a pretty random day. Last night around 3am I started nodding off on the couch. I had been up for almost 24 hours and finally my body decided I had stayed up long enough. Because I had been awake so long I was starting not to feel all that well. So Master had me go to bed. Shortly there after Master came to bed as well, but decided to let me sleep so He just cuddled up with me and we slept.

This morning I woke up to the sound of Master in the shower. So I got up, said good morning, and He told me to go ahead and have a cigarette so I could wake up a bit. Once my cigarette was done I knelt outside the bathroom door while He finished His shower. When He was done we relaxed in the living room for a while, but then had to get some more errands done today. We had quite a bit of driving around to do while doing said errands and we joked around a lot. We were picking on each other a lot, and we both laughed and smiled quite a bit. It was rather relaxing even though we were doing some of the most mundane shit. But hey, that just means even with the boring stuff we attempt to make things interesting and keep each other entertained.

After our errands were done we stopped at the porn store and Master and I picked up another porno and some lingerie for me. It's not the typical lingerie. They kind of look like leg warmers. Like thigh-high leg warmers. We were looking for stockings, and came across those. Master said that if I wore them with heels it might look really hot. They weren't expensive at all, so we decided to give it a shot.

We finally got home about mid afternoon and relaxed. After dinner I was getting tired because I had taken a benadryl and that stuff makes me extremely tired. So Master allowed me to take a nap. He just woke me up about a half hour ago. It's a little after 9pm, but at least that means I should be able to stay awake longer tonight. Which means a fun night of dressing up for Master and watching the new porno we got. Should be fun. :-D

Up Swing

Last night ended in a calmer state than it had started. And this morning I woke up in a great mood. Odd thing that.

But I've stayed in the great mood all day. For no apparent reason. So I think it's fair to say that I'm in an up swing at the moment. This morning before I left for work, I sent an e-mail to Master (who was sleeping in our bedroom down the hall..) to tell Him about the mood change. It was short, sweet, and to the point. But in doing that I thought perhaps if there is a dramatic change in my mood, I can do that every time. Not only will it give Him a heads up, and hopefully lead to less mis-communications.. but it'll help track my moods. The down swings, the up swings, the just kind of there swings. Etc.

Master got a hold of me during the work day and said that He felt it was a good idea as well. It doesn't take long, but it has the chance to go a long way in helping me.. and helping Him as well.

Tonight when I got home from work we had dinner and have been relaxing most of the evening, watching Netflix.

It's almost 10:30pm and so far I'm not tired.

Totally changing subjects here but I just wanted to say that while I love the Fall, I hate the fact that it causes my skin to be come extremely dry. Blech. It's itchy damnit. I'm trying not to scratch a lot, with my nails even when they are short I have a tendency to just scratch the hell out of myself. And that sucks too.

We basically have nothing at all going on this weekend, but I'm hoping that it doesn't go by as quickly as last weekend did.

Master does have a job interview on Sunday though. So that's good news. Here's hoping it goes well.

I've Got Nothing

I have no idea what to write about. I mean I could ramble on about what we did today.

There's a jump off point at least.

I slept until noon, which was awesome.

Master and I spent the morning and most of the afternoon just sitting in the living room doing our thing. Then someone called us about a craigslist ad we had up. He came over about an hour later and actually bought the items! *shock*

So to celebrate Master took me out to dinner.

No, it was not to celebrate Sweetest Day. *gag*

It was to celebrate selling the item and having a little extra money that we weren't counting on.

By the way, I don't understand the point of Sweetest Day. We already have Valentine's Day (which we also do not celebrate) and then you have the birthday of your significant other as well as your anniversary with said significant other.

So basically it's another day to go out and buy already dying flowers, and spend way to much money on candy. Dude. You can totally buy a king size candy bar for under $2. That way you get chocolate and you save money. And also, you won't have an entire huge box of chocolate that you will eat most likely in one day and then feel guilty about it later.

Speaking of somewhat useless and expensive holiday related items. What the fuck is the point of a greeting card? And why the hell are they so damn expensive? (Unless you go to the dollar store, like I do when I feel like I have to buy one.)

You spend money on a card, which you write on, and then give to someone. They may keep it for a little while, but then they throw it away.

This, my friends, is why I normally use internet greeting cards. *nods* I send my thoughts via animated greeting cards that you send via e-mail. Because I'm a nerd. Also it saves trees by not using paper and also saves on postage.

The only greeting cards I have ever kept in my life are the ones people gave us for our wedding nearly three years ago. They are in the living room end table's drawer. (We didn't have a guestbook because we only had like 20 people there and I didn't see the point in spending money on one. So instead I kept the cards.)

Side note: I have had way to much Mountain Dew and coffee today, in case you couldn't tell.

Well Master just hinted that I should go take my bath, so off I go with my somewhat hyper and yet oddly just kind of here self.

Warning: This Blog Post Is Pretty Damn Random

You have been warned.

Okay I'm going to try to make it less random by placing portions of this post into sections. Although seriously, the topics have nothing to do with one another.

First.. Sex.

Last night Master and I retired to the bedroom. I had put on one of my personal favorites. It is long, and flowy... I love it. Master apparently also loves it. When He saw me come out of the bathroom wearing it (I had just gotten out of the shower) He smiled. When I knelt at His feet and had to gather the bottom of it in my hands He said, "Now that's My proper girl." Which of course made me blush. Damn Him for being like the only person alive who can make me blush.

We eventually retired to the bedroom. I was extremely sensitive from the night before. He played with me for a little bit and it was like my entire body was leaping to His touch. I couldn't help myself! As we were fucking He talked dirty to me, and had me respond in kind. Then, I begged for Him to put me in the slave rape position. (Me, on my stomach. Him on top of me, with my legs open, His legs hooked into mine forcing them apart, and Him pinning me to the bed.)

Now in this position I am not allowed to cum. He pinned me down and ordered me not to move. This is very fucking difficult. Seriously! Normally, even when He has me pinned and I can barely move I can toss my head or buck my hips a bit. Most of the time this sort of thing is involuntary and so I had to concentrate the entire time on not moving.

At one point, as His sweat was dripping all over me, which is like.. the hottest thing for me during sex... He said, "Toy, I told you not to move. You just bucked your hips." I froze, and I think I stopped breathing for a minute. I could have sworn I was laying perfectly still. But I know Master isn't the type to say that just to fuck with me. Well, at least He hasn't in the past. *laughs*

So I quickly start apologizing as soon as I was able to breath again. I told Him that I swear I didn't mean to! He said He understood and told me to make sure it didn't happen again. So I like place my body on complete lock down mode. Even when He is pressing on my hip and shoulder with His hands to the point where my face is going into the mattress, and I can barely breath out of my nose (I couldn't out of my mouth, thank you very much bedsheets) I refused to move. I could still breath enough to where I wasn't going to pass out. I was fine. Lock down! It was very difficult but I did it! Master filled me with His cum and after He pulled out and laid next to me He gave me pets and I think I started to melt. But it was after I had cleaned Him off and I rested my head against His sternum and He started telling me how good I've been, and He's noticed how attentive of a slave I've been lately, that I felt completely at peace.

I was a very happy girl. He scented me, we split a cigarette, and then we curled up and I passed out shortly there after.

Okay.. second subject. Work.

Work was hectic as hell today. I came in to a pile of work waiting for me thanks to people who apparently have no home life and camp out there on the weekends. *laughs* But I got through it and although the work kept growing as the day went on... at least time went by rather quickly. What did suck was the fact that they had to shut down the computer programs I use, for maintenance, and so I took my lunch early so I wouldn't get more backlogged by maintenance down time and then a 45 minute lunch. Blah. I hate fucking with that routine. But hey, I got through it. Not really a big deal, but it made the afternoon seem like it was much longer because of it.

I took the bus home today. We are trying to conserve gas in the car, and it's much cheaper to use a $2 bus ticket then it is to pay for gas for Master to drive to my job, pick me up, and then drive us back home. But the up side to this was that once I got to a certain spot on the bus route Master called me to see where I was. So I told Him. He said He was going to start walking down to where the bus was going to drop me off.

It was so nice! He met me at the bus stop and we walked home together holding hands and He listened to how my day went. I loved it! It was actually better, to me, then when He comes to pick me up in the car.. because He's not getting pissed off at other drivers, the radio isn't distracting us.. we just held hands and talked for the few blocks.

Topic three. Being cautious/over protective.

Master and I were watching a TV show that had to do with being overly cautious/over protective. It was in regards to children. But it got us started on a conversation.

I had to kind of laugh because my mother, who I love very much, still wants me to call her once I am home safely when I drive from her house to my apartment. It's about a 45 minute drive. She wants to make sure that I haven't gotten into a car crash or anything like that. I tease her about it all the time. I'm like, "Thanks mom. Ya know I have been driving for a little over 10 years now, right?" And she shakes her head, rolls her eyes, and says, "It's not your driving that I'm worried about!" You know.. kind of like Master does when He says stuff like that to me. Maybe this is why they get along so well. They are both very, very concerned over my safety and general well being. If I ever did anything stupid, I would be afraid of what kind of nursing care/lecture tag team they would make.

Also, if I take the bus home from work, she wants me to call her once I am off the bus, and talk to her on the phone until I am safely in my apartment. That is unless, like today, Master meets me at the bus stop, cause she knows I'll be safe with Him. She knows I can take care of myself, just like Master knows this, but they both worry. A lot.

I oblige her in these things because I don't want her having a panic attack on my account. And I know she is doing it out of love and concern, not creepy control freak mommy type stuff.

While Master does it out of love and concern.. as well as.. wanting that control. ;-)

A Little Late

Well today's post (for January 3rd) is a little late because Master and I got home late. Oh well, at least I'm still getting it done.

Today was pretty random.

When I woke up this morning, Master was still asleep. It is pretty damn rare for me to be up before Him. But He had worked an 11 1/2 hour day yesterday, so I didn't want to disturb Him.

I went into the living room to wake up and relax a little bit. I noticed that there was a voice mail on the home line. So I listen to it and it's my job. It was one of the supervisors wondering where I was. Of course I'm sitting here going, "What the fuck?". The message stated that I was supposed to be there at 7am, and that they didn't have any record of a call in or my having scheduled the day off. Basically, they were going to report it as a no call no show. And in my job that equals immediate termination.

So I call in, and because I'm a paranoid bitch when it comes to my job.. I had printed off the approval of my vacation day for today. I wasn't worried, just pissed off.

First, before I explain futher.. let me tell you why this pissed me off so much. My former supervisor had put in a request for a raise on my behalf, which has been pending since my 90 days were done. My 90 days were done September 1st of 2008. It is currently January fucking 3rd of 2009. The last I heard it was still "being looked at". I also have heard from one of the supervisors that I may not get my "one year raise" because my one year anniversary is in June, and the company I work for does their "annual" raises all at one time rather than on an individual basis.... and they do this in April. So since my year technically won't be up until June I wouldn't be eligble... which means I wouldn't get my one year raise until April of 2010. Now, if this proves to be true.. I'm gonna be one ticked off chick.

Now comes this. I had put in the request in the middle of November. I had printed off my approval to have proof of such. So anyways, I call up my job and I speak with a supervisor (a different one) and explain the situation. He looks at the vacation schedule and goes, "Yep there you are. No worries." Okay, that's taken care of.

And yes, I know.. I could be looking for different work. But honestly, even without the raises ... I make decent money. Money I can't scoff at. Especially with the job market and economy the way it is right now. So I stay. Plus there is room for advancement at this company... and they would be willing to pay my tuition to go back to school after my one year anniversary. So... yeah. I may bitch, but I can't really bitch to much ya know? Even with the stress my job can cause... it's the best job I've ever had.

Shortly there after Master comes out into the living room. He has me run to the gas station for coffee, soda, and cigs. When I get home He's waking up and playing His video games. After His coffee I go over to Him, kneel, and He pauses His video game. I tell Him I'm horny and He says He'll take care of that later.

So I take His cock into my mouth and blow Him. He allows me to do so and cums down my throat. He then goes back to His video game and then takes His shower.

After His shower I help Him with putting lotion on His tattoos and then we head out the door.

We hit the ATM, drop off the rent check, go to the pet store and pick up rabbit food, and then go down to my father's. We stay there later than we had intended to, and so didn't get home until almost 11pm. I go online to check a couple things while we eat dinner, take my bath, put on a bodysuit, watch a movie with Master and now it's almost 2am and I'm doing my blog post.

So yes, today was very random. I have tomorrow off and then it's back to the grindstone.