Number 13

As I'm sure 99.9% of you know, I have quite a few tattoos. Currently, I am sitting at 12. I have always said that I want 13. As far as what I want as my last one.. I keep going round and round on that subject. It's like I'll see something that is fucking awesome and would make a killer tattoo, but then I see something else and think that might be better.

This isn't how I normally am with tattoos. In the past, once I've decided.. it's done and over. No other image or flash or design is going to sway me from it. Maybe it's because I'm telling myself that number 13 is the last one. Master keeps calling bullshit on that. He knows I not only love the ink I have, but I love the whole experience of getting ink. I really do think I'll stop at 13 though.

I have always wanted some kind of skull or reaper type tattoo though. I have a morbid side to me. But part of the problem I have with finding a good design is that I don't want it to be too masculine. I know.. how is a skull or reaper tattoo not going to be masculine?

But I'll find something. The icon I'm using on this post crossed my mind as a nice small, not too masculine, type of tattoo I could get. Obviously it would be a finished heart. But I do like to splatter around it. But then I stop and think about it and wonder how faded the actually skull part would be. It would have to be just so it wouldn't take over the heart portion, ya know? So that's a no go.. I like bright, vibrant tattoos. I don't like that faded look, at least not on myself.

Master already has one on His arm. It's a pirate skull. It's bad ass. But it would look absolutely horrible on a chick. This is what I mean when I say I don't want i to be too masculine. I don't want it to look "wrong" on me because I'm a girl.

I did promise myself though that I will the tattoo on my left leg touched up first. When it was fresh I had fallen and as a result the healing process didn't go the way it should have. It doesn't look all jacked up or anything, but it needs to be touched up to look right. So regardless of when I find the design I still with for number 13 I will get that tattoo touch up done first.

What's In A Name?

I had this thought running through my head. It's about tattoos. Actually, it's about a specific tattoo. Mainly placing your significant other's name on you. Many people believe that is bad luck and feel that it is a "ticking time bomb" for the relationship. Same would go for portraits, I'm assuming. But the main belief is that you should never, ever put a tattoo on your body that relates to your significant other's name.

So many people say that they have friends that did that and it wasn't long after that the relationship ended and it was bloody.

Well, lets see here. First, relationships end all the time. Secondly, a lot of relationship end ugly. In fact I would say that relationships that end on even a somewhat good note are rare. In my world they are like unicorns. I've never in my life been in a relationship that ended where there were no hard feelings and I've never seen a relationship end that way. It's always been ugly. Granted it's been varying degrees of ugly, but ugly none the less.

Why is there this belief? I don't understand it. Personally I think that it stems from the fact that people who do end up getting a significant other's name tattooed on them and then break up for whatever reason decide that is why. It's almost like blaming the tattoo. Essentially blaming your decision on what to put on your skin.

To me that is no different than saying a relationship broke up because you took the next step. Whether that step be an engagement ring, a wedding ring, a collar, or whatever other physical sign of commitment you can think of.

I do not have Master's name tattooed on me. I do not have a tattoo that literally spells out "property of". Instead I have a tattoo that matches His except for the symbols on the inside of it as those symbols are very personal and they have a purpose for being there. I have tattoos that He designed. I have tattoos that He bought me as a present. Just like He has tattoos that I bought Him. He doesn't have any that I technically designed myself because I can't draw worth a damn. But He does have a tattoo that I helped piece together. I picked out the flash and told the tattoo artist where to place them. Master of course had the final say on it but He didn't change a damn thing.

Why don't we have one another's names done? *shrugs* We don't feel the need for them. We already have our marks on one another as I explained above.

I'm not saying that if you truly love someone you have to get their name inked on your skin. But I honestly do not believe that if you do, it's immediately a curse to the relationship. Sometimes I wonder if it just scares one or both people in the relationship. It's a level of commitment and sometimes that big of a showing of commitment to someone can scare the hell out of you, or the person you are with. Also? I sometimes think that people don't think it though and get it done way, way too soon. I'm not going to even remotely state how long a relationship should be before you do such a thing but I do think that if you are with someone for three months and decide to slap their name on you, it may not be the brightest idea. Then again I think the same thing about a ring on your finger or a collar around your neck. That's just my personal belief though.

Under The Gun

We've been watching LA Ink on Netflix a lot lately. We just got another full season released for streaming so that's why we've been watching it. The only bad thing about watching that show is that it makes me want to get under that tattoo gun really, really badly.

Master still has a tattoo that needs to be fixed. And I promised Him that His would get fixed before I got my 13th one. My goal is to hit 13 and then stop. Hopefully I can stick to that and then just go back and touch up some of my older tattoos that I got before I knew what proper tattoo care was. They aren't seriously fucked up but I want them touched up. That will happen after number 13.

Ideally we would get it done at the same time, but I don't know how feasible that is financially. Especially since I don't know how much that would cost. I know I could just walk into the parlor that I normally go to and ask for a quote but as soon as I walk into a tattoo parlor I get that itch and sometimes I'll get upset because I know I can't get it right then and there. I know, patience is not in my vocabulary as soon as I walk into a tattoo shop. Hell, it's barely there just talking about what tattoo I want to get next. Yes, I know, I'm horrible. *laughs*

I know exactly what I want and where I am going to get it. I've had my eye on this really beautiful and romantic looking skull and rose design. I want it not only because it's goregouse but also because it reminds me of my favorite Edgar Allan Poe poem. I was originally thinking about putting a line of the poem in there as well but have decided that it would look better without it. Plus, I'll know what it means and it'll be an interesting story to tell if anyone asks.

It is going to be in the most visible place I've ever had a tattoo. Right now I can hide every single one of my tattoos simply by wearing pants and a short sleeve shirt. But my 13th I want on the inside of my right forearm. This means that I won't be able to hide it without long sleeve shirts. I had been playing with the idea of a wrist tattoo but couldn't think of anything that I would really love, and trust me I looked and thought about it a lot. And I had been wanting this particular skull and rose design for a long time, I just couldn't think of a place to put it.

So I figured, fuck it, it'll be my 13th tattoo and I might as well pick a spot that is harder to cover up. I'll wear long sleeve shirts to work in the middle of summer if I have to. I don't care! I don't want it in color. I want it in black and gray.

So while I was talking to Master I thought of just sending an e-mail to the tattoo parlor to get a ballpark price quote that way so I don't torture myself and I can start saving up for it.

I want to save up enough so that we can get both done at the same time. The only problem is that my brother wants to come up for a weekend next month and wants Master and I to get ink with him. Um, yeah. That's highly unlikely at this point. But who knows. Maybe I can pull something off, at least so Master can get His arm tattoo touched up. I just got a tattoo earlier this year, so it's His turn!

Wrist Tattoos

I know that I am addicted to body modification to a degree. I currently have 12 tattoos and three piercings. I wouldn't mind having my eyebrow pierced again but given my job that just isn't going to happen. Also, Master isn't sure if He wants me to have one again, so it's a moot point either way.

Tattoos though? Yeah.. I got my last one not all that long ago and I told myself I want to get to 13 and then stop and focus on touch ups if/when they are needed. I have a few that do need touch ups. One of them needs it because I received bad advice as far as after care and I had fallen down and scraped the hell out of it. This was my second tattoo and as I said didn't get a lot of good advice at the time. I'm so glad that I know better now.

But to get number 13 I have to a) figure out where to put it and b) decide what the hell it'll be.

I've always played with the idea of a wrist tattoo. Depending on what it is they can look fucking awesome and kind of sexy. But I would have to pick out a damn good design and then figure out how to hide it at work.

My current job doesn't give a fuck if your tattoos are showing as long as they aren't offensive. But who knows what the next job's policy will be. I read a thread today about wrist tattoos and people were saying that a person could just wear a bracelet over it or a watch. And of course there was the whole buying tattoo concealer. Plus there is that whole wearing long sleeves at work idea. That would really suck in the summer and sometimes your sleeve rolls back. A few people stated that no one even really notices theirs.

So there are ways around it. But as I said I would need to figure out what it would be. Master likes the idea of my having a wrist tattoo, as long as it's the right design of course.

I think I'll look into designs and go from there. Plus Master needs a touch up before I'll get anything else done. As I said, I got one not that along ago and with getting that new tattoo I got my very first tattoo touched up. It needed it badly.

Permanent Markings

One thing I've noticed about blogging every other day rather than blogging every day is that I have time to kind of think about my posts. I mean, obviously I have time every day. But when it was an every day occurrence it was just mainly day to day stuff or things that happened on the weekends that my mind seems to focus on. But lately I've had some deeper thoughts and I'm trying to focus more on Master and I rather than focusing on the other shit. I prefer it this way. As I've said I can post every day if I want to. But I am required to write every other day. I've also noticed that my posts seem to be longer as well. I think it's because I have more time to brain storm and I don't feel like, "Ugh. What the hell do I write about tonight?!"

The reason why that thought ran through my head is because yesterday and today I had my last post swimming around in my brain on and off. I was saying how symbols of my submission to Him are important. I had also rambled on about the fact that I miss Him being able to yank me around by my collar.

I have markings that I cannot take off. I was saying how my wedding ring will never be off my finger. Well, aside from the small stuff like putting lotion on my hands or things of that nature. You know, normal shit.

The markings I am talking about are related to body modification. There are two tattoos that I have that directly relate to Master. I don't have His name or initials tattooed on me. We had toyed with the idea of having His initials done in a stylized way. I already know the design I want. It's kind of looks like a brand. I know where I would put it too. I don't have a lot of room left but I need to do keep it so I can cover it with short sleeves. As a result I think on the back of my neck would be perfect. I have thick hair and I hardly wear my hair up. And when I do, it's not at work. So my hair would keep it covered. My hair is finally getting longer. It's just past the tips of my shoulder blades, which is damn near the middle of my back.

Little side jump: Master doesn't want me cutting my hair short again. He likes it but He prefers my hair long. I don't know if I had already mentioned that or not. But if not, now I have.

Like I said, my hair would cover the back of the neck tattoo. Master seems to like the idea for a little while and then goes back to not being sure. It's not like He thinks it's a horrible idea or doesn't like the idea of me having His initials, it's simply because He's not sure if He'd like the look of it. He does like the design and the placement makes sense to Him though. He's just see-sawing with the idea. Until He's sure I'm obviously not going to start saving up for it though. That just wouldn't make sense and I would get excited about it only for Him to possibly change His mind. That would suck.

The funny thing is, if I got His initials done it would be my thirteenth tattoo. That honestly just struck me and I found it amusing.

However, as I've said, I do have two tattoos directly related to Him. One is an abstract broken circle design with a sigil inside. He has the same one, but with a different sigil on the inside of it. It looks similar enough though that you can tell they are connected. The other one is the word slave spelled out in Enochian as an arm wrap directly above the tattoo I described above. Both of these were designed by Him.

Then of course there are the other tattoos He designed for me. They don't have anything to do with a tattoo that matches His or that directly relates to my submission. He designed a wolf which is on my shoulder and a thigh wrap on my left leg.

And last but not least is the scar He gave me before any of His tattoo designs touched my skin. He wanted a way to mark me and mark me He did. He took a knife and did a quick swipe along the left side of my chest, going upward, just above my breast. It's hard to explain. But basically the cut went a little deeper than expected. It wasn't dangerous. It was just a little deeper and wider than expected. It turned out beautifully though. That was done about, oh, eight or seven and a half years ago. Yes, it was rather early on in our relationship. It was within the first year to a year and a half into our relationship.

So, while He can't drag me around by them, they are there permanently. Well, at the very least they aren't coming off without expensive and painful tattoo removal. I just don't see that happening.

Ink Addict

Hello, my name is Kitten and I'm an ink addict.

I've only had this tattoo for almost a week and already I'm thinking about touching up the ink on my left leg. It needs it and it'll get done sooner or later. However, Master gets to go first. I love that I just got my ink done and Master needs the spider tattoo on His right forearm touched up. When it was done two years ago it was a little roughed up from constantly taking His winter jacket on and off. And sometimes His arm would get caught and that didn't help either. So He is getting that touched up before I get any other work done. In fact, my brother wants to come up again sometime in June so that he and Master can go get ink together. My brother already has his third one picked out and he knows that Master wants His spider touched up so he figured they could have a brother-in-law bonding experience and have some fun.

Sounds good to me! I'll drop them off and pick them up. (There is only two hour parking where the parlor is located so it's a lot easier to drop off and pick up.)

But then it shall be time to touch up my left lower leg!

I just found it amusing that I've had fresh ink for less than a week and I'm already thinking about the next time I have a tattoo gun shoving ink into my skin. But I'm also excited about Master getting His spider touched up. *smiles*

Fresh ink for everyone!

Fresh Ink

Yesterday after I got out of work I came home for about 15 minutes and then headed back out the door. Master is still not feeling the greatest so He stayed home. I drove down to my hometown and picked up my brother. He came out with a suitcase, literally a suitcase. I asked if he was moving in and he said yes. I just kind of stared at him blankly. He laughed and explained that he was bringing his PS3 up so he could show my Husband some of his games. On the way up back to our place he told me all about his new girlfriend. Sounds like the poor girl has gone through a lot in her 26 years. But she also sounds really nice and my brother told me that sometime soon he would like for us to basically go on a double date with them for dinner or something like that. I told him we'd figure it out. They haven't been dating very long. I'd say about a month, maybe two. So I figure that I'll wait a little bit longer before throwing her into meeting the family basically.

We got up to our place and hung out with Master. We talked and my brother showed Him some of the games he has and they were nerding out for a while.

While they were nerding out my brother had said that he was thinking about getting a deer tattoo after getting the tribal piece he would get that night. I asked what he wanted it to look like. He told me and I, being the ink addict that I am, decided to look up flash on the internet while they played games. As I was browsing my brother looked up and said, "I really like that one!" He pointed to it on the screen and I said it did look pretty kick ass.

He decided he wanted that done that night as well as the tribal piece. So I e-mailed it to the artist. He answered by saying he could do that as well. He then asked if we could bring paper print outs of them because apparently he was using his phone to respond to the e-mails and viewing the attachments and the shop's internet was down. I said that we didn't have a printer. This made my brother extremely nervous and needless to say a bit upset. The artist stated that he could try and sketch them out. But then Master came up with the idea of going to a Kinkos and printing them off there. I looked at Him like He was a fucking genius and off we went. We got them printed off our e-mails and were out of there by a little after 5pm. Our appointment was for 6:30pm. Since it wouldn't make much sense to go back home only to leave shortly there after, we'd just go directly to the tattoo parlor and wait till our appointment time if need be.

Master dropped us off. He wanted to stay but He is still sick and felt it would be better to go rest at home. I agreed with Him. My brother and I went inside and the tattoo artist for our appointment, let's call him K, laughed and said that we were early. We had gotten there around 5:30pm. We said it wasn't a big deal, we didn't mind waiting. He was working on another customer. Well originally both of our appointments were going to be with K. But another artist there asked if he could do mine. Let's call this one J. I said that wasn't a problem at all. He asked me what I wanted in regards to an anklet. I told him and he asked me to wait for a little while. He actually drew it up himself. There was absolutely no flash in it. He had sat down and drew it. So it was a completely custom tattoo. It was the first time that I didn't have something already drawn up by Master or printed off the internet. So I was wondering what the hell his "take" on it would look like. When he showed it to me I loved it right away. (It's a very customized version of your traditional barbed wire anklet.)

Since K was busy I got to go first since J was available. We settled on a price of $100. Well worth it in my eyes. So he put the stencil on, I checked it and was immediately excited about it! Like I said this was my first tattoo like this. He started and my brother watched. He seemed to relax when he saw that I wasn't even flinching and it was going over bone, etc. I did warn him that this is my 12th tattoo so I'm pretty damn used to the sensation. When that was done he was looking at the tattoo right above it. It's a tribal rose and it was my very first tattoo. So, since I had received bad after care instructions, it was a little jacked up. It had cracks in the tribal. I had said to my brother while we were waiting for J to get set up that it would be the first one I would touch up and that I would start my touch ups after the one I was getting that night.

J must have over heard me because he asked if I wanted him to touch that one up while I was there. I was shocked he had brought it up. I asked how much and he shrugged and said, "Just toss me a tip and we'll call it even."

*insert shocked and elated face here*

Of course, I was already going to tip the guy so it was a free touch up basically. Although because the anklet turned out beautifully and since he did the touch up for free I tipped him over half what I paid for the tattoo. He seemed shocked by that. I told him that he earned it.

Then it was my brother's turn. They talked about the 2nd tattoo and K said that since he was already getting one, he would do the other for house minimum. Holy fuck! These guys are all about customer service and customer longevity. They are super cool guys let me tell ya.

So my brother got his two tattoos. He only winced a couple of times. I was proud of him. Master picked us up and we made a couple more stops on the way home. While we were out I bought my brother his "tattoo after care kit" as I bought mine.

When we got home all three of us just sat around and chilled until about 1am, when we all started to crash.

When we got up in the morning we relaxed for a little while and got some lunch. Shortly after lunch my brother and I had to leave since he had to get home by 3pm. I dropped him off and came back home.

I'm still incredibly stoked about my new ink. Master is happy for me and glad I did it. I think He thinks that I'll never spend money on myself for something that's not a necessity unless it's a tattoo. *laughs* Honestly He's not that far off the mark, which is why it's funny.

Now comes the sucky part of it healing. But it's always well worth it. Now I get to rest the remainder of the night with Master and we have tomorrow just the two of us.

Collar & Ink

I know that's kind of an odd mix to be posting about, but it's better than doing two posts in one night.

Today was my first day without my collar. I was okay last night after He took it off and I calmed down after it was taken off. I was okay because I was with Him. I was near Him and I was fine. But today? Today sucked. My neck feels naked. Whenever I touch my neck it's like sudden shock of, "Where the hell is my collar?!" It's not like I could lose it somehow. It's not like it would have ever fallen off. It was screwed on for fucks sake. But then I would remember and I would feel really odd. Like I would feel a bit shaky, almost like a mini panic attack. I told Master about that and He reminded me a few times that I was still His slave. My station has not changed. I'm still His through and through. That made me feel a lot better.

When I got home I had to put lotion on my neck where the breakout from the nickel allergy is. Again it feels really fucked up touching my bare neck. I've worn that collar for 6 years. This is going to take a long time to get used to.

Master made me smile by saying, "Just look at this way, I have better access to your neck." *smirks* I love it when He chokes me and bites my neck. So I'm okay. It's just going to take me a long time to get used to this and to not get out of sorts when I touch my neck.

Okay, now onto the second part of the title.

My brother is coming up on Friday to spend the night and hang out. He has been wanting a tattoo since he was 18. Next week he'll be 27. He finally has the money to get a tattoo. He e-mailed me the flash that he wanted. I tried calling the tattoo parlor Master and I went to 2 years ago. Of course I couldn't get them to answer the phone. Maybe it's just my experience but it's not easy getting a tattoo parlor to pick up the phone. Plus I was calling pretty early in the afternoon.

I was afraid of my brother coming up and us not being able to get his ink done due to not having an appointment. So tonight, shortly after I got home, I ran out to the tattoo parlor. I had three questions for them.

1. Can I get an appointment for this Friday? - Yes. The appointment is at 6:30pm this Friday. 
2. Can I e-mail the artist the flash my brother wants and get a quote on it? - Yes. I got the e-mail address, e-mailed the flash to the artist and am now waiting on a reply.
3. How much would be the tattoo I want? - Affordable. This paycheck that is coming on Friday is significantly bigger than I was anticipating. As a result, the tattoo I'm getting (between $80 to $100) is extremely affordable.

So my brother and I are both getting ink this Friday! I'm so excited! My brother only knows that I made him an appointment. He doesn't know I'm getting inked too. I think he'll be happy about it. That way he's not doing it alone, especially on his first tattoo. I think it'll help. 

I'm excited! I'm getting tattoo number 12 in less than two days! *happy dance*

I didn't tell my brother I'm getting inked too because I want to surprise him about it. Not that my getting ink really affects him, but I want him to be surprised that brother and sister will be getting inked at the same time. A really weird bonding experience if you will.

Jealous

My brother and I sent texts back and forth today. He sent me a text this morning (my brother hates to talk on the phone) stating that he had gotten up the money to get a tattoo when he comes up. His exact words: "Are you excited to watch me suffer?" Why yes, yes I am. *smirks* And not because he's my baby brother. Well, my baby brother who will be 27 years old soon. There are only 22 months between us. My mom and dad wasted no time apparently.

Ever since I started getting tattoos, which was 10 years ago, he has been wanting one. I got my first tattoo shortly after my 18th birthday. In the past 10 years I have "collected" 11 tattoos. I plan on collecting at least one more. I would like to make it to 13 though. Why? I'm not sure. I'm sure there is some kind of weird twisted part of my brain that thinks it'd be cool, simply because it's the number 13.

Anyway, like I said he has been wanting to get inked for at least 10 years. When I got mine at 18, he couldn't wait to turn 18 and get one.

Unfortunately he was never able to do that until now. I know he's a little nervous about it and I don't blame him for that. Most people are. But since my first one I have become addicted. As soon as I get my next one (which is finally planned out completely) I plan on starting to get touch ups on the ones I have that could use it.

But back to my brother. He is excited and he wanted to make sure that my Husband and I are there when he gets his first one. As I said I have 11 tattoos and Master has 6. So my brother trusts us and he feels it will be a bonding experience on some level. Plus, since he's nervous I'm sure he wants us there for moral support basically.

The title of the post is, I'm sure, rather obvious. I won't have the money to get ink; and I thought it would have been fun for us to get ink at the same time. But, I don't want to blow our budget out of the water, so I'll wait.

I'm being responsible instead of impulsive. I hate it, but I'm doing it. (Damn responsibility is standing in the way of one of my addictions!)

So in three weeks my brother will be visiting and we'll be taking him to get inked. Rock on!

Insert Witty Title Here

I know, not much for a post title, but seriously I just feel mentally drained today. In fact this is the first thinking related activity I've had since I got home from work. Master just let me fend for myself for dinner; I had cereal. And since then we've just been knocking out some episodes of LA Ink. By the way, I'm really hoping that on our tax returns in April we can afford to get some ink done. I've finally figured out how I want a tattoo done that I've been hemming and hawing over for about.. oh.. 7 years now. I just couldn't decide how I wanted it done, and it's not like I want to rush into a tattoo. I've never just gotten a tattoo that I only kind of liked. I'm stuck with it, so I'm going to love it.

I know Master also wants new ink as well. He is flipping between two different designs for His left forearm. He has a spider on His right one, now He wants something on the left. I'm sure He'll decide sooner or later, especially if He realizes that we'll have the money for it.

I've mentioned to Master that I think some of the stress is finally taking it's toll on me. I keep telling Him I look like hell. He assures me that I don't, but He's biased. I look paler than usual, which is saying something since I'm normally pretty pale. My hair doesn't seem as thick as it use to and I'm noticing more hair in the hairbrush. I don't think I'm going bald or anything.. it's like some fucked up form of stress shedding. I'm noticing every little scar and mark on my face. I don't wear foundation or anything, so it just seems more noticeable to me.

I'm sure I don't look as bad as I think I do. Master still tells me I'm beautiful and I look great. When I tell Him I think I look like hell He looks at me like I'm bat shit crazy. It's a good thing He loves me. It really is. I may have gone completely off the deep end by now without Him.

Ink Craving

When my brother was up here last time he was telling me that he finally wants to get a tattoo. Okay, I know finally seems like a harsh word, he is only 26 years old. But, I started getting ink at 18. I'm now 28 and I have 11 tattoos. So.. yeah. To me it's a late start.

He was saying that he knew what he had in mind and we searched online for something he might like. He found one that he wanted, but he couldn't find the other one. (He has two in mind currently.)

Since that point I hadn't given it much thought. Then a few nights ago he sends me a picture message on my cell phone. He found the other one he wants. I have to admit that it looks pretty kick ass. He had told us that he wants us both there. He knows that whenever one of us goes to get a tattoo the other is there. And since it will be his first he's a bit nervous about it, so he wants his big sister and brother-in-law there for support. No biggie. I'm more than happy to go with. So is Master.

Since that text conversation though I've had ink on my mind. I know exactly what I want next. It's not really a "new" tattoo. It would be a touch up and small extension of one of my existing tattoos. I just want a little something added to ink I already have and have the rest of it touched up while it's getting done. It was my first tattoo. I got it when I was 18. Since it was my first one I didn't exactly take the best care of it. It's not all fucked up or anything. It's a tribal piece and the only way I can describe it is that it has "cracks" in it. Basically when it healed I "helped" the flaking skin come off. That was a dumb idea. So now there are small lines in the tribal where the skin wasn't quite ready to flake off yet.

I don't know how much it will cost. But I really want it done. Badly. And Master has a tattoo He wants touched up as well. So the ideal situation would be that when my brother goes Master and I could get our stuff done too.

There are a few problems with that. One, I have no idea when my brother wants his to be done. He is having me take him to our tattoo parlor so at least I know where. When remains to be seen. Secondly, I don't know when I'll have the money available to do this.

I've thought about just finding the flash I want added to my first tattoo, sending it in an e-mail to the tattoo artist we normally go to and then go there, tell him how I want it done and ask how much that would cost including the touch up. Then see how much the touch up for Master's would be. Total that up plus tip, then I'll know how much I need. I don't think it'll be overly expensive honestly, not for how tattoo prices go anyway. Regardless of that fact Master and I don't have a lot of spare cash just sitting around. So it'll have to be either saved up for or budgeted in for one of the paychecks.

Scratch That Itch

I'm sure most of you know how strapped for cash Master and I normally are. Finances are always extremely tight and so we don't have a lot of "free" money to spoil ourselves with. This month I get two what we call "middle of the month" paychecks. The first paycheck of the month is used to pay rent. After that we have enough for groceries, things we need for the animals and some gas in the car. That's it.

The second paycheck of the month is the one that is used to pay our other bills. Once that is done we can splurge a little bit, but honestly not all that much. Something small, but enough so that we feel a bit of breathing room before the first paycheck of the month again.

This month, as I said, we get two middle of the month paychecks due to how to pay days land. As a result I paid our bills on this one and we spoiled ourselves yesterday by getting a few things we both wanted. That was really nice and it was like a sigh of relief. We spend about $80 on just spoiling ourselves. It felt great. I know that doesn't sound like a lot of money to spoil ourselves with but for us it felt like we had won the jackpot.

And honestly we still have more "free" money to play with. Which is awesome! As a result my brain started ticking away. I'm addicted to tattoos. I have 11 currently and want two more at minimum. And they are both already planned. One is an anklet tattoo. The other is a stylized version of Master's initials. We had tried picking out the placement for the one of His initials before. We finally landed on my right wrist. I wear His cuff on my left wrist. So His initials on my right wrist makes a lot of sense. It'll only be an outline tattoo because I want it to somewhat look like a brand. (I'm not brave enough to actually get a brand done and they normally don't heal the way people hoped they would.)

So since we have more free money I started wondering if I could get it done this month. So I tried calling one tattoo parlor that we used last time. They didn't answer their phone. Since I'm an impatient bitch when it comes to ink I called another place that a lot of people rave about. I've seen their tattoo portfolios online and they do damn good work. Plus this is an extremely simple tattoo it should be great. I talked to a woman on the phone and I explained how I already knew exactly what I wanted and I had it saved on my computer but I don't have a printer. I asked her if I could e-mail it to someone and basically get an over the phone price quote. She said not a problem. So she gave me her e-mail address and I sent it to her. She said simply because it is on the wrist it'll run a little bit more. Placement does effect the price and I already knew that as I've run into it before several times. She also told me it would have to be a bit bigger than I had it so the lines wouldn't be too close together. Again I agreed with her. So she told me it would be $80. Sounded about right to me. Most tattoo parlors minimum price is $50. Since this is a bit bigger and will be on my wrist $80 sounded right to me.

So I did the math. Yes, we could afford it. No, it wouldn't strap us for cash. But they are closed tomorrow and I won't be able to get it during the work week. Next weekend is out. So I talked to Master and He said that maybe on my next paycheck we could get it. So now I'm excited. But if we can't do it I'm not about to go ahead and do it anyway. I'm not that stupid. But I know damn well if I don't get it this month it's going to be quite a while before I'll have that kind of spare cash again. You have to tip after all. So I'm really hoping that I can get it done on my next paycheck. I've wanted His initials done for quite a while now and I know Master wants it done as well. Like I said I really hope it works out this month. If not, I'll be disappointed but there isn't much I could do about it.

Hiding

I know I've posted about how if Master did not have certain restrictions on me I would do other things to modify and/or alter my look.

I had this visual of myself today while I was just kind of day dreaming. My hair was straight (it's naturally curly) and it was raven colored with small dark red streaks in it. I had midnight black eyeliner on with dark red lipstick. I was pale, as I normally am. As my mental picture pulled back I saw what I was wearing. I had on mesh fingerless gloves that went up to my elbows. A black tank top that had rips in it in all the right places, a black mini skirt with a couple of light chains attached to it, mesh knee highs and some killer black heels on. My ink all looked brand new and I had the next one I want already done, and it looked great.

I don't know why but I've always wanted my hair to be raven colored. The streaks don't necessarily have to be in it, but I love raven colored hair and I wish I had it. But Master will a) not allow me to dye my hair and 2) is completely against dying hair black because He did it once when He was younger and hated it.

So that was an interesting flash of a mental picture. Sometimes I just see myself in certain ways that are just... odd. I see myself in ways that I can never be. Just certain things that Master will not allow or that I can not have done because I have to be able to fit into normal society for work purposes. And how sucky is that? Why, just to maintain a good job, do I have to be able to hide that side of myself? Tattoos and piercings do not change my ability to do a job well. However, for some fucked up reason that's how companies see most people. "Oh.. you're tattooed and pierced up one side and down the other... you must not be very responsible."

Sometimes yes, my tattoos show, but not normally. And I don't have piercings in any places that anyone can see unless I'm topless and/or naked. Which isn't a bad thing but I miss my eyebrow ring. I would get it done again in a heartbeat if I could have it in while I was at work at least during the healing period. But I can't. That's one thing I don't understand about my job. You can have your ink showing as long as it's not offensive, but you can't have any visible piercings. What. The. Fuck.

It's like I told Master the other day, when I see pictures of myself where none of my tattoos are showing (like at Christmas at His mother's or whatever) I look and I don't see myself. I mean, I know that's me, but there is nothing showing that I feel helps me express myself. Ink, piercings, etc. Even when I get that forearm tattoo I'll still be able to cover it up. I wish I had something that I couldn't hide no matter what. Something, even if it's small, that I can't cover up. Maybe one day it'll happen, and maybe it won't. I know that there are sometimes where you want to be able to cover up every tattoo and every piercing you have. But I don't really want to have that option anymore. I didn't use to when I had the eyebrow ring. No matter what you could see it, case I never took it out. And I loved it. Master didn't like it at first when He met me, but eventually He actually thought it looked nice.

I don't know where this sudden rekindling of such a desire is coming from. But it's interesting.

Waiting Game

Last night I had asked Master around 11:30pm if I could take a nap. He said okay and that He would wake me around 1am so we continue enjoying the night. Apparently He attempted to wake me at 1am and couldn't. So instead He allowed me to continue sleeping.

I woke up before Him this morning. About a half hour after I woke up I tried to nuzzle Him awake but it didn't work. So I went back into the living room. Another half hour passed by and I tried again. This time He woke up. He went into the bathroom and then went back into the bedroom. I was like, "Okay then.." but then He called me back there as well. When I got into the bedroom He was laying on His back, comfortable under the covers. He lifted on side of the comforter and I slid in next to Him. He tucked us both in and we cuddled for a little while. He kissed the top of my head and then took my hand and put it on His already hard cock. I stroked Him for a while before He sat up, flipped me onto my stomach, and fucked me. He didn't allow me to cum, but it was amazing.

Afterward we relaxed in the living room and woke up a bit more. I made Him coffee and then He took His shower.

I called the tattoo/piercing parlor I normally go to and asked how much a nostril piercing cost. After finding that out I figured out we could afford it. So I talked to Master about it and He huffed and said, "Can't we have a weekend without running around?"

I was trying not to mope. He said He would take me next weekend. But I have to admit I felt disappointed. Like I said I'm not trying to mope or anything but I figure this is a good place to just write it out and get the fuck over having to wait one whole week. I know, it's not a long time. That was me being sarcastic about the whole "whole week" thing.

But I was disappointed because it seems whenever I want to get anything body modification related done I have to wait. It's a constant waiting game. When I got my nipples and VCH done we had to wait for finances. I originally had the idea on May 7th, 2009 and it was done on May 16th, 2009.

When I got my last tattoo, I had waited over a year in order to get it due to finances and finding a good tattoo parlor that was closer to home. Who knows how long it'll be before we can afford my next one.

When I wanted the new jewelery for my nipple piercings we had to put it off due to finances. The original idea was had on December 27th, 2010 and it happened on January 7th, 2011.

Granted with the piercings it's normally a week or just over. But it still sucks. I'm a very impulsive person sometimes. And once I grab onto an idea that I truly am excited about I hold onto it for dear life. I don't get excited about much for myself. So when I do, and it has to be delayed I get disappointed rather easily.

I know part of the reason why Master doesn't want to go this weekend is because He hates the part of town the piercing parlor is at. It's not a bad part of town or anything, it's just a pain in the ass to drive in. I know this. And honestly I pointed out to Him that it wasn't going to change by next weekend and He still wouldn't want to go next weekend. He said He knew that but then I could "hold Him" to His promise.

Yeah. Holding Him to a promise when He isn't in the mood to do something is not a joyous thing. He gets grumpy, just like anyone else who "has" to do something they don't really feel like doing right then and there.

But.. *shrugs* I guess it'll happen when it happens.

Long Friday

Today was a good Friday, but a long one. Thankfully it was my half day at work. And it was also the day of my appointment with my shrink. More on that a little later.

I got out of work and got home a little later than usual for some reason. When I got home Master didn't look that well. He was originally going to do the running around with me. But I knew He wasn't feeling the greatest. I asked Him what was wrong. His sinuses were kicking His ass in a very major way. So He stayed home. Poor Daddy.

But before I went off to my appointment I ran to get Him a sandwich. I figured the bread would help His stomach calm down. So I dropped the sandwich off at home, said goodbye to Master, and then headed to my shrink appointment.

The appointment started a little late, but it went well. He asked me some questions about how I'm doing, if I've been cycling, if I've felt depressed or felt suicidal. And then after I answered all those questions he asked me how my marriage was doing. It may seem like an odd question for him to ask since I'm not in marriage counseling. But I had told him that the number one reason why I sought help was because it was affecting my marriage in a very big, negative way. So I told him that we're doing much better and have been feeling and acting much like we did when we were first married. He smiled and said that he was glad to hear it. He wrote me a prescription for more refills on my medication. He then said that he felt I was doing well and that I could wait until April to see him again. Although he said that if I felt I needed to see him earlier that it wouldn't be a problem at all. Just call his office and they will schedule me an emergency visit. I'm not worried about it honestly, but it's nice to know that I can do that if I need to.

After my appointment was done I headed straight down to my mother's. I visited with her for a while. She's looking kind of frail right now. My mom is more petite than I am and has a serious problem keeping weight on. She worries me sometimes. But she swears she's okay and that she had just had a visit with her doctor.

After I visited with my mom I had to make a few more stops before coming home to my Hubby.

Since then we've been relaxing together. He was kind enough to work on my lower back for me. It was feeling stiff and it feels much better now. Although for some odd reason my right hip is really bothering me tonight.

But now onto a totally different topic. We can't afford that tattoo I desperately want right now, and so my mind has been wandering. I kind of want more piercings. But the main ones I want I can't have due to my job as they are facial piercings. But they do allow nostril piercings as long as it is a stud. So I could get that, put the stud in, and then once it heals buy other ones to wear when I'm not at work.

So I'm going to do some research on that tonight and see if I can financially pull it off this weekend.

Longing

I had e-mailed the tattoo artist I talked to the tattoo "flash" that I wanted a couple of days ago. But I hadn't received a reply yet. I know that I'm not the center of the universe, but I was anxious. So today I called the tattoo artist again. I explained who I was and asked if he had received my e-mail or not. He said that he had, and apologized for not getting back to me sooner. He then pulled up the e-mail I had sent him and took a look at the image. He asked me again about where I wanted it placed. I also mentioned that my forearm is rather slender.

So he looked it over a minute and then said that the ballpark price is $100 to $150 dollars depending on how large it turns out to be when we actually put it on my forearm. I thanked him and told him I'd be in touch. I was honestly expecting it to be more expensive. Not because it's intricate, because it's not, but because of the placement and the very fact that it's a wrap. Any kind of wrap tattoo seems to be more expensive, no matter the placement.

So when I heard the ball park price I got very excited. That's more affordable than I thought. Master and I are getting our finances on track. His freelance job helps a lot.

So I told Master about it and He said that was a good price, etc. And of course, because I'm an ink addict, I couldn't stop talking about it or thinking about it. Still can't, obviously, since I'm doing a blog post about it.

Hell when I got home from work Master and I talked about which part of my forearm it should be placed. I think it'll look best at the thickest part of my forearm which is right below my elbow. Master had thought I would get it more in the middle, but agreed that it would look nice where I had pointed. But He did say that ultimately the final positioning of the tattoo would be discussed with the tattoo artist when we see how it would look.

Oh how I wish I didn't have to set away half of my next paycheck for rent. I would get that tattoo done tomorrow if I had the money. I am so excited about this, not only because it's new ink, but because of what it is, and what it represents to both Master and myself.

More Ink Talk

Yeah, y'all might get sick of hearing about this. But this is my blog so I get to write more about tattoos! :-D

So as I stated in my last post, I had messed around in the paint program and had designed the tattoo with Master's initials. And He loved it. But a little later on in the evening (obviously after my blog post) Master's brain starting rolling around the idea of changing it a bit. Not very much. It was just moving the pieces that were already there. He had said that if I got it on the middle of my back or on my rib cage no one would ever see it. Now while that can make a tattoo all the more personal, it would honestly sadden me to never have anyone besides Master (and people who get to see my pictures where I'm naked.. obviously). So He mentioned how it would be really nice to get it on my arm. Now the only problem with that is that both of my upper arms are filled up. But then Master said that if I got it as a forearm wrap it would look really cool, and also be like a permanent cuff with His initials on it. That right there sold me on the idea. I never really thought about forearm tattoos, but that would be really nice. And whenever I wanted to I could look at it without needing a mirror.

So I saved the new design and we're going from there.

Now the thing is that I need to get it priced out so I know how much to save up. The problem with that is two things. One, we don't have a printer. So I would have to call up the tattoo parlor, ask if I can e-mail them the image, and then go down there. The second problem is that when I go down there to price it out I won't be able to leave with it on my body. I'd just be going down there for a pricing. Which sucks. But it'll be worth it in the end.

Another problem is that now that we have that figured out I want it now. I don't want to wait! In fact what I'd love to do is get it done around our anniversary in March. But I don't think we'll have the money for it then. Who knows, I could be wrong, but still... This is the problem with me figuring out new ink that I want but can't afford right away. I obsess over it until it's done and then I marvel over it for a long time once it is on my body. Although the marveling isn't a bad thing, the obsessing is.

But first I have to call the tattoo parlor and see if they'd be willing to go through all that trouble just for me to get a ballpark pricing done on it without getting the tattoo right away. I don't think they'll have a problem with it. (We've done it before, but that was a different tattoo parlor.)

I'm going to call the tattoo parlor tomorrow and see what can be done about getting it priced out. (Yes, I have them programmed into my cell phone. So what? I'm not an addict. Honest.)

Twist Me

Most people would argue that I was pretty fucking twisted when I first met Master, even though I was "only" 20 years old at the time. But I swear He has made me even more twisted. (Although Master says that's not the case at all...) I insist that He has twisted, pulled, molded, and torn at me until I'm just where He wants me to be. And the sickest thing about it? I love it.

So as I said in the Marked post Master gave me permission to get His initials tattooed on me. The only thing that He was concerned about is how it would look. So last night I looked online and started looking at different designs. I can not draw. I mean I can doodle, but when it comes to serious artistic ability, I have none. And I wanted it to be personal. I didn't want just some piece of flash with whatever kind of font in it. So while I was looking around online I saw pieces that I thought may look good together.

I saved a bunch of tribal flash and only one font set, since I knew exactly what font I wanted. But with the tribal I couldn't be sure what would look best. Most of them looked like they were designed for arm wraps or lower back tattoos, but I figure I could manipulate them later. So I saved, and saved, and saved some more.

Eventually Master told me that I had to get off of the computer, so I stopped looking around and relaxed with Him.

Today I have been just incredibly happy. I couldn't stop smiling. I just kept thinking to myself how great of a Husband I have, how great our sex life is, how much I love Him, etc. It helped that I got fucked really, really good last night. ;-)

So tonight when I got home Master and I relaxed for a while after dinner. I have been doing more physical things to show my submission. And Master has been loving it, and reacting in such a way that shows me He wants me to keep doing such. I've been kneeling a lot, nuzzling Him, and just being very docile in my actions. Today while I was kneeling Master gently pushed against my knee with the front of His boot. I immediately knew what He wanted. I opened my knees wide and knelt up straight. He smiled and ran His hand gently across my face before raking His nails under my chin. *shivers* I had forgotten that the more I show my submission in small, physical ways in addition to the emotional and verbal, He reacts in a way that makes me want to act that way more, which just leads into this wonderful cycle.

Tonight I took the time to work on the tattoo with Master's initials that I want. I opened our paint-like program and played around. The initials were pretty easy, since I already knew how I wanted those to look. But then came what I wanted them to be surrounded by. So I opened different pieces of flash that I had saved last night and dicked around with it. That is until I finally found the right one! It took some time but I got it just right and showed Master. He loved it! So now it's saved on our computer and is waiting for us to save up the money so that it can be put on my flesh. I just have to decide if I want it on my ribs, or in the center of my back, right along my spine. Right now I'm leaning more towards the center of my back.

When I was done taking my bath Master had me dress up for Him. He's spoiled me lately, since He had some spare money. He got me my new nipple jewelry, which you already knew. But He also took me shopping yesterday and got me a black mini skirt and two pairs of knee highs that look slutty as hell.

So tonight He had me put on the knee highs, the skirt, a pair of heels, and a mesh top. That's it. He then took pictures and we had a great time. Once the pictures were done He had me take the skirt off. Why? Because it's one of the few short skirts that I can actually wear outside (with a thong anyway) and so He didn't want to get it messed up tonight since it's brand new. But the knee highs, heels, and mesh top have stayed.

Marked

Since Master and I have gotten serious about one another, He's been marking me in different ways. First was a collar. Then scars. Then eventually tattoos. Several in fact. Then came the eternity collar. After that came the wedding ring. Next was the eternity cuff. And then you toss in another tattoo. Then comes the piercings (three in fact). And then I guess you could say new body jewelry for two of my piercings. Which in fact He discovered that He prefers the horseshoe body jewelry over the straight barbell, at least for my nipple piercings. He likes my curved barbell just fine for my VCH.

But now I want something.... more. I'm sure someone is currently looking at this post going, "What the fuck do you mean more?! What else is there?!"

So let me give a little background here.

Master and I talk about tattoos quite a bit. Especially since we both greatly enjoy getting them and want more. And if you had caught us on that particular conversation say... four years ago... we would have both said how we don't understand/don't want tattoos with your significant other's name in it.

But for the past year the idea of getting a tattoo that revolves around Master's name has been rolling around in my mind. I hadn't brought it up to Him because I didn't know if His thoughts on the matter had changed. So I figured it was best to just let it be.

But last night we were having a few drinks at home, I was all slutted up in lingerie and heels, and we were just sitting around talking before eventually getting ourselves into the bedroom. So the drinks had loosened my lips quite a bit. And we were talking about all kinds of things, and eventually got onto the subject of how much more obedient I have been since being on my medication. How I'm not wishy-washy about my slavery. How I am rock solid in knowing this is what I want, and what I need. How much the structure is helping me. And how He has felt more solid in His role within our marriage as result.

And so I finally got up the courage to bring this up. Although it was with quite a few disclaimers. I told Him that if He didn't like the idea at all, to please just say that up front.. etc and so on. Basically covering all of my bases to the point where Master was like, "Would you just tell me already?"

So I took a deep breath and I told Him that I want a tattoo that some how revolves around His name. And His expression didn't change much. And He didn't respond right away. So I continued talking...

I said, "I know You don't really like Your full first name." (Cause He doesn't.) "And I don't want to get the shortened version of Your first name." (Because I think it would just look weird cause it'd be so short..) "So I was actually thinking about getting Your initials as part of a tribal piece." And that is the exact moment that I saw the flash of absolute alpha male shining through His eyes. And His jaw set a certain way. The way it sets when He's about to pin me to the bed.

And that's also when I knew that He really wanted me to do it. He wanted to see that kind of permanent mark that could be mistaken by no one. It would not just be a form of symbolism or something no one else knows the meaning of besides us. It would be easily explainable. And not only a show of my love and devotion to Him, but a mark of His ownership of me.

I know that not everyone agrees with such things. We use to be like that. But since we've been together so long, and we've gone through hell and back more than a few times together, I believe it is something we would both greatly enjoy and not something I would ever regret doing.

It is going to take a while to save up, but I'm hoping to get it done before the beginning of fall this year. I would like to have it done by the end of summer so that I can wear loose fitting skirts while it heals and not worry about jeans. Master has decided that He would like it to be on the outside of my right thigh. He thinks it would look best there. I was originally thinking of getting it done on my ribs, but because of the design I want it wouldn't look right there. And I have to agree it would look hot as hell on my right outer thigh.

New Shiny Things!

Not that long ago Master had asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I had got Him a video game He really wanted, so He wanted to make sure to get me something I really wanted as well. I'll be the first to admit I'm hard to shop for. Not because I'm ultra picky or anything, but just because I really don't want a lot. I'm more the type to say, "But we could get You..." or "How about we go out to dinner or go to a movie instead?" You know, basically anything that doesn't involve me having to pin point something that is just for me.

But I had a great idea. I wanted new body jewelry! Just for my nipple piercings though. I didn't really want any new jewelry for my VCH (vertical clit hood) piercing just yet. I really like the curved barbell for that. I had straight barbells in my nipple piercings. But I wanted something a little different. So I looked around online (even though I wasn't going to buy online.. I just looked to get an idea of what I wanted) and finally decided that I wanted the horseshoe/circular jewelry. Whichever you want to call it.

I also knew that I wanted to get the jewelry at the place I originally got them pierced at. I like the shop, and they use implant grade jewelry which is a great thing since I have a nickel allergy. At first we had to put this whole idea on the back burner because we were tight on funds. But this week Master got paid from His freelance job and He promised me we would get them today.

So after I got out of work we had a couple of other errands to run. So we did that first and then went out to the tattoo/piercing parlor that I love so much. We had a hard time finding a parking spot so Master dropped me off at the door and then just circled. I went in and amazingly the woman who had originally done the piercings was there. The odd thing was she remembered me for some reason. Never mind I got these over a year ago. I told her what I wanted but admitted that I honestly did not remember what gauge I wear. So she had me go into the piercing room and show her my nipple. Apparently I wear a 14 gauge.

So she showed me what she had and asked if I wanted the smaller balls or the bigger ones. I couldn't help but giggle at that. Of course I wanted the ones with the bigger balls. ;-)

So she rings me up and before I know it I'm walking out of there with new jewelry! I hadn't put them in there, obviously. I had them safely tucked away in my purse in the little plastic slip case that they were in.

Master and I went out to dinner after that and while we were waiting for our food to arrive I was giddy about my new jewelry and asked Him if He wanted to see. So He kind of chuckled at my being so excited over it and said yes. I pulled them out of my purse and showed Him. He said they weren't as big as He thought they would be, but He liked them. (Keep in mind these are 14 gauge. So yeah, not very big.)

So we get home after one more errand after dinner and watched a movie. After that I got a clean piece of tupperware put warm water in it and antibacterial soap. I then put the new jewelry in there to soak for a little while. After a while of that I sat on the couch, got my clean jewelry and put paper towels on my lap. I took out my right straight barbell and placed it on the paper towel. Then I got the circular barbell and put it in. I was kind of surprised that Master watched me do this. Why? Because some people find it gross, or just fucked up looking when you shove a piece of metal through your flesh and feel no pain what so ever. I'm not saying He is squimish, but I didn't really know because He's never seen me put in jewelry before.

So once the right one was done I started taking out my left one. Master immediately started commenting how much He loves the new jewelry and I only had one it so far. *giggles* So I got the left one done, put the "old" jewelry away and looked at my new jewelry. I absolutely love them! I love the straight barbells as well but there is just something about the circular barbells that I really, really like.

So I've been walking around tonight with my new jewelry in smiling and very happy. Master keeps commenting how much they catch the light and He loves the fact that they are more visible besides a shiny "dot" on each side of my nipple. So I think He is very pleased. He's already talking about getting me more body jewelry, which will be awesome! So I'm sure I'll be looking online for more ideas of what I may want, or He may want me to get and go from there until the next time I want to change them out of He orders me to. That's another aspect of it I love.. if He wants to see something different on me as far as my jewelry goes, He can just order me to change them out. Yay! More orders! :-D

That's one thing I like about jewelry, it's a form of body modification that you can alter in a way. It keeps your options open. So I'm very happy with my (belated) Christmas present. It was more than worth the wait. Thank You very, very much my Master!