Permanent Markings

One thing I've noticed about blogging every other day rather than blogging every day is that I have time to kind of think about my posts. I mean, obviously I have time every day. But when it was an every day occurrence it was just mainly day to day stuff or things that happened on the weekends that my mind seems to focus on. But lately I've had some deeper thoughts and I'm trying to focus more on Master and I rather than focusing on the other shit. I prefer it this way. As I've said I can post every day if I want to. But I am required to write every other day. I've also noticed that my posts seem to be longer as well. I think it's because I have more time to brain storm and I don't feel like, "Ugh. What the hell do I write about tonight?!"

The reason why that thought ran through my head is because yesterday and today I had my last post swimming around in my brain on and off. I was saying how symbols of my submission to Him are important. I had also rambled on about the fact that I miss Him being able to yank me around by my collar.

I have markings that I cannot take off. I was saying how my wedding ring will never be off my finger. Well, aside from the small stuff like putting lotion on my hands or things of that nature. You know, normal shit.

The markings I am talking about are related to body modification. There are two tattoos that I have that directly relate to Master. I don't have His name or initials tattooed on me. We had toyed with the idea of having His initials done in a stylized way. I already know the design I want. It's kind of looks like a brand. I know where I would put it too. I don't have a lot of room left but I need to do keep it so I can cover it with short sleeves. As a result I think on the back of my neck would be perfect. I have thick hair and I hardly wear my hair up. And when I do, it's not at work. So my hair would keep it covered. My hair is finally getting longer. It's just past the tips of my shoulder blades, which is damn near the middle of my back.

Little side jump: Master doesn't want me cutting my hair short again. He likes it but He prefers my hair long. I don't know if I had already mentioned that or not. But if not, now I have.

Like I said, my hair would cover the back of the neck tattoo. Master seems to like the idea for a little while and then goes back to not being sure. It's not like He thinks it's a horrible idea or doesn't like the idea of me having His initials, it's simply because He's not sure if He'd like the look of it. He does like the design and the placement makes sense to Him though. He's just see-sawing with the idea. Until He's sure I'm obviously not going to start saving up for it though. That just wouldn't make sense and I would get excited about it only for Him to possibly change His mind. That would suck.

The funny thing is, if I got His initials done it would be my thirteenth tattoo. That honestly just struck me and I found it amusing.

However, as I've said, I do have two tattoos directly related to Him. One is an abstract broken circle design with a sigil inside. He has the same one, but with a different sigil on the inside of it. It looks similar enough though that you can tell they are connected. The other one is the word slave spelled out in Enochian as an arm wrap directly above the tattoo I described above. Both of these were designed by Him.

Then of course there are the other tattoos He designed for me. They don't have anything to do with a tattoo that matches His or that directly relates to my submission. He designed a wolf which is on my shoulder and a thigh wrap on my left leg.

And last but not least is the scar He gave me before any of His tattoo designs touched my skin. He wanted a way to mark me and mark me He did. He took a knife and did a quick swipe along the left side of my chest, going upward, just above my breast. It's hard to explain. But basically the cut went a little deeper than expected. It wasn't dangerous. It was just a little deeper and wider than expected. It turned out beautifully though. That was done about, oh, eight or seven and a half years ago. Yes, it was rather early on in our relationship. It was within the first year to a year and a half into our relationship.

So, while He can't drag me around by them, they are there permanently. Well, at the very least they aren't coming off without expensive and painful tattoo removal. I just don't see that happening.