For Real?

Last summer Master and I had spent a lot of time outside and as a result we hung out with a group of neighbors. I know I had mentioned that one of them had moved up north for a job towards the end of last summer. So it's been a little over a year.

Since then I have sent her texts several times and sent her e-mails since then. I never heard anything back. Never. Also, she never told us when she was in town. The only times we knew is because she still talks to other people in this apartment complex and we would see her walking to or from one and say hi. She would act startled and seem to be nervous about the fact that we even saw here which is really fucked up. So a few months ago I removed her from a social network site that we are on because I figured that since she wasn't responding to me that there was really no need to have her on there anymore. I was a little ticked but didn't let it bother me too badly. After all I'm not that social and when I am nine times out of then I'm not friends with a female. I just get along a hell of a lot better with guys. But this one woman I had befriended for an entire summer only to be completely ignored after she moved.

Well, this past Sunday we were walking up to our apartment with my dad while we were coming back from the Halloween store. And there she was, walking up to a different person's apartment. Again we had no idea she was coming to town. She again seemed nervous about running into us and said, "Hi guys how are you?"

I ignored her and just walked past. I'm not dealing with that shit.

The only thing I can think about in regards to seeming nervous is completely due to the fact that she never got back to me or tells us she is in town. Maybe she thinks we'll make a scene or something. You're not worth the effort bitch.

So why is this coming up now? Well, today Master got an e-mail from her. Seriously? It took me ignoring you for a change to get a reaction? And even when you do react you contact my Husband? For real?

Her e-mail went somewhere along the lines of her saying she didn't know what she had done to me for me to ignore her like that and brought up the fact that we had promised to stay in touch after she moved. She also brought up the fact that she just now noticed that I was no longer friends with her on the social network website. She ended it with saying that she wished we could have all stayed friends and that she wishes us the best. *beats head into keyboard*

Before He could reply to it he went to her He realized that she had removed Him from her friends list. So He couldn't have replied had He wanted to. That is some high school bullshit right there. As a result He decided to just block her completely.

He told me about all of this when I got home from work. I just couldn't believe it. This only feeds my natural anti-social behavior even more. Not that it really needed the help honestly.

Wedding Bells

One of Master's oldest friends, BC, is getting married in November. I know I've posted before about how Master doesn't want to go and all that, but apparently we are going. And guess what? Master is one of the best men. Yes, there are two. Why? Because BC's fiance couldn't make up her mind as to who to have as her maid of honor, so she has two of them. So to match, BC has two best men.

BC picked Master up today to go out to lunch and to get Master fitted for His tux. He's going to wear a tux. I never thought I'd see the day. He wore a really nice suit when we got married and He looked damn good in it too. Master does not want to wear a tux. He hates them with a passion. But.. He doesn't have a choice in the wardrobe, so He's stuck.

I, however, am not part of the bridal party. I am still going to the wedding, obviously. It sounds like this wedding is going to be a lot more formal than any wedding I've ever been to. And I've been to two of them. Our wedding and my mother's wedding to her current husband. Neither were formal in any way, shape, or form. Both times the "dress code" was please don't wear jeans, other than that... come on in! So just the fact that Master is going to be wear a tux means that yeah, it's a lot more formal.

Since I'm not in the wedding party though that will mean that I'm sitting by myself during the ceremony itself.. no big deal. That also means that I will be sitting alone at the reception since Master will be at the head table.

Well, that is... if Master didn't have other things in mind. He doesn't plan on me sitting by myself at the reception. He either wants me sitting next to Him at the head table or He'll make His toast and then come sit by me. I'm not sure how well this is going to go over, but Master has made up His mind. Yes, we realize that this isn't about us. Duh. But BC knows Master very well and he also knows the dynamic we're in. Master plans on talking to him about it. For all we know there may not be an actual head table. At least Master is hoping there isn't. (We didn't have one.. or a seating chart.. sit down and eat!)

So we'll see where that goes and what BC says. Master obviously doesn't have to worry about what He's wearing, other than the fact that He's going to moan and gripe the entire time He's in that monkey suit. So now I just have to figure out what the hell I'm wearing. I'm not going out and spending a lot of money on an outfit, I'll tell you that. We also have to figure out what to get them as a gift. Normally, it'd be pretty easy. But since they are living with BC's parents they don't need the usual newlywed stuff.. you know.. things for the home. Fuck. Suggestions anyone?

I Wish It Wasn't Sunday

Last night I was up until 4am. That is extremely rare for me. I'm normally asleep by 2am even on the weekends. I hate that honestly. But all day yesterday we felt pent up. It was either hot as hell, humid as a mother fucker or it was raining. As a result no one was outside. We even stayed inside. Part of the problem with that is it didn't even seem like a Saturday. We've gotten too used to just going outside for most of the day/night on the weekends. I already know that when winter hits we'll just be inside different apartments hanging out.

So anyway, we stayed in and after fucking we came back in the living room and about an hour and a half after that I finally went to bed. I guess Master stayed up until almost 5:30am.

Today it wasn't nearly as bad outside. We sat on our porch for a while and then I went and knocked on SL's door and asked if her and her husband were going to be poking their heads out. She seemed happy that I knocked and said she would be right out. So we sat down and had a really good time. We only came back in to eat dinner really quick and before you know it we were back outside.

It was about 9pm when Master decided He wanted to go in. He has already told me that if I want to stay outside after He's come in that I may. But as I said it was about 9pm and I knew that I still had to do my post, do my mood tracker and take my shower. Plus, I wanted a little bit of down time inside, after all that was done, before I had to go to bed.

Master isn't as lenient with my bedtime on a work night as He has been in the past simply due to the fact that I have to drive the car. I totally understand it, honestly. It sucks, and I'm sure He doesn't like it either because He enjoys spending time with me at night... but what are you going to do?

It was sweet when I said I was going inside because SL and AK wanted me to stay outside with them. I told them that if it wasn't a Sunday I would be out there all night and have a great time, but since tomorrow is a work day I had to go in. I gave them both a big hug and they each gave me a kiss on the cheek. I haven't had friends like that in a very long time. I still like my alone time but I really enjoy spending time with them. We haven't gone out and done anything really besides that local fair but we all really like sitting around in the courtyard talking. So that's what we do.

Salon Day

No, I didn't go to a salon... you'll get that joke a little later in the post.

Today was a fucking awesome day. It was a lot of fun even though we didn't really do much. It also helps that it was a hell of a lot cooler out today. I think the high was 78°. And by the time night hit it was down to 68°! Rock on!

The day started with Master and I just relaxing in the living room, waking up and talking a little bit. I needed to head out to Walgreens and asked Master if He would want to come with me. I also told Him that I wanted to take him to the game store to see if there is anything He wanted. I like to buy Him things when I can.

We hit the game store first and He found a game that was a trilogy of games on one disc and it was only $40. He really likes the game series and didn't have any of them anymore so hell yeah we're picking that up. After that we went to Walgreens. I had been talking to my neighbor about dying my hair. Master gave me permission to since He knew that SL had been a hair dresser. He also knew that I wanted to dye my hair all one color. I had tried to basically put a reddish tint in my hair but it didn't turn out right. I couldn't really reach the back and the bottle didn't seem to have enough dye in it. It didn't look horrible but I didn't really like it. SL had told me to buy two bottles of hair dye (the same one obviously). She said that since my hair is longer I'll need more than one bottle of hair dye.

When we got to Walgreens Master helped me pick out the hair color. I wanted it all brown again (I'm a natural brunette) but I wanted it a shade or two darker than my natural hair color. He thought that would look nice as long as it wasn't too dark. This is why He helped me pick it out. I wanted to buy one shade darker than the one He picked out but He said no.

Once we got back home SL said to give her about a half hour and she would dye my hair for me. Well, AK needed her hair fixed and dyed as well. Apparently AK had gotten her hair cut at Cost Cutters and they seriously fucked up the back of it.

AK went first. SL fixed the cut and then dyed her hair. While AK's hair dye was setting in SL dyed my hair. I'm so glad she did it for me. She used to be a professional beautician so I trusted her completely. She even helped me rinse it out, which was really nice of her. She put in the conditioner too. How awesome is that? When my hair was dry SL asked me if she could cut about a quarter inch off my hair just to get of the split ends. I of course said yes. It's not like she wanted to take two inches off so it was all good.

While all of this was going on Master and the other guys were outside talking while SL, AK and myself sat inside doing a "salon" type thing and chit chatting like you would in a hair salon. It was awesome.

My hair turned out fantastic. It's darker, like I wanted, but not too dark. Master loves it as well, thankfully. As a thank you Master ran to the store and got SL some more beer. We went inside to eat dinner and then immediately came back outside to hang out in the nice weather.

Now we're back in for the night and get to spend some alone time with one another. We don't even have the air conditioner on! It's a bloody miracle!

Random Thoughts

I have some things I could post about but rather than breaking it up over the next few days I want to do as much of it as I can in one post. So I'll be covering several topics. Please try to not get lost. ;-)

Last night we went out to dinner with my mother-in-law and her husband to celebrate Master's birthday. Honestly Master had gotten up to the point that if His mother started anything, like taking small digs and what not, which she is famous for, He was going to fire back. He wasn't going to just let it go without a comment basically. That being said, nothing happened. We all had a good time, His mother didn't take any digs at all. In fact she told us that we didn't have to come down on Sunday because they were going to paint the smaller rooms first and really only needed our help painting the living room. That honestly caught us off guard. In fact, the whole feel of the dinner caught us off guard. She was in a good mood, as was her husband, no digs, no back handed compliments. Nothing. She was pleasant and talkative. Everything she said was positive. It was.. weird. So while we had a good time we left going, "What the hell just happened?"

Odd, I know.

The rest of Master's birthday was spent with us at home talking and having a good time. He then said something very sweet. He said He was glad that I had taken the day off of work. Normally He doesn't want me to take off of work unless it's important. I had told Him that His birthday is important. But when I initially brought it up He hemmed and hawed about it. He eventually gave me permission to do so. He said He was glad that I had taken it off because He had such a good day with me and He was thankful for the extra time with me. He didn't say it, but I think what He was getting at was it meant a lot to Him that I had taken His birthday off even though we really didn't do much but sit at home. I didn't take it off for a party, or for a night out on the town. I had simply taken it off to be with Him on His birthday. While He doesn't really like His birthday I know it bothers Him when people don't remember it. So for me to take the day off to just be with Him, I think it meant a lot to Him. And that makes me very happy. That's all I really wanted. I wanted to be with Him on His birthday. It's as simple as that.

We are also glad that we don't have to go to His mother's on Sunday. We don't really have the gas money for it and my paycheck isn't until Friday. On top of that I really don't like doing a lot of Sundays. Especially if it's something where we aren't going to get home until 8pm. I may stay up on Sunday anyway, but it's at home and I can relax. I don't have to come home and unwind. Plus that means that Master and I can do our own thing.

Okay, now onto the subject of finances and relationships. Most of you probably already know that our finances aren't that great. We get by but we can't splurge often and even when we do it's not much. We do something simple, like go out to dinner. And even with that it's not an expensive restaurant. We simply have to keep a tight grip on our finances. One of the things I love about our bank is that we have the option of making our accounts where you literally can not go over. Which is the option we took. You can not go over whats in your account, which also means you can't get overdraft fees. Now where that would suck in an emergency situation it's great for day to day shit. For instance, if we happen to not realize we don't have that much money in the account when we go shopping, it'll simply deny the card rather than letting it go through and getting an additional $25 fee tacked onto it. That helps a lot.

They say that one of the most likely things to end a relationship or a marriage is financial stress. Now where we do get stressed and can get snippy with each other because of it, it will not end our marriage. We take our vows very seriously and one of them is for richer or poorer. Another one being in sickness or in health. Master has a blood disorder where if He gets a cold it can quickly become pneumonia which can quite literally kill Him if it is not caught in the very early stages. Then there is my chronic pain and bipolar disorder. So there are health problems on both sides of the coin.

Yeah, I know. Anyone who is married, or has been married, knows the vows. But still, pointing them out now and then helps keep our stress levels down.

HG, the fiance of BC, at one point asked how long we had waited until we got married. I told her that we got engaged at the 2 1/2 year mark but didn't get married until the 4 year mark. She asked if part of it had been because of finances. And admittedly that was part of the reason but even then we didn't spend a lot. The most expensive thing was our honeymoon and even then comparatively speaking to other honeymoons I've heard of, it was a rather modest honeymoon. We spent $200 on the actual wedding, including the marriage license and $500 on the reception including food and a bartender, but it was a cash bar. We didn't have a DJ or a band. We had a boombox and burned CDs. But we loved it. Everyone had a great time. We danced to our song and that was it. The rest of the music was just to have a good time. Our wedding rings, which are titanium, were only $400. I don't have an engagement ring because I proposed to Him and I hate diamonds anyway.

So HG then asked why we hadn't gone all out on it. I told her that we didn't need that. All we wanted was to be married. I wanted to be Mrs. Coyote. He wanted me as His wife. All we needed were the rings, an official that could marry us and the piece of paper that made it official. Everything else was trimmings. Although honestly we did want to have some kind of celebration afterward with our family and friends. But $500 on the whole reception isn't that much at all.

She then asked what happened after the wedding. I told her that as soon as we got back from the honeymoon we were tight on finances. And slowly but surely we became broke. She asked why we had bothered then. I got insulted by that question. What do you mean why did we bother? Fuck you very much. We bothered because we wanted to be married and it was important to us that we be married on our four year anniversary. She thought it was weird that we got married on a Wednesday. I simply explained that that was our anniversary and it didn't matter at all to us what day of the week it was on.

So now lets go into the situation... I don't know if I would call it ironic.. but it's makes me feel a little good inside. That may sound horrible when I explain the situation but the way she sounded like she was talking down to us for how our wedding was handled.. it makes me smirk a bit. Kind of a karma thing. Her words came to bite her right in the ass.

HG and BC got engaged on their 2 year anniversary. BC had spent over $3,000 on just the engagement ring. To me that sounds like way too much money to spend on a piece of jewelry. Way, way too much. In fact he bought it on their year mark and hadn't paid it off until their second anniversary.

Okay.. they had moved in together at about the year and a half mark. They had bought lots of appliances that were not cheap at all. A washer and dryer, things that came from Bed Bath & Beyond.. basically anything that comes from Walmart, Alids, or K-mart is beneath her. Now where I understand that a lot of people may not shop at such places if they don't have to. But if you don't have the money to buy the more expensive shit then it's not beneath a lot of people (in my opinion) to shop at such places. You do what you have to do. But not her. Oh no.

So back to the engagement part. BC took her out to Vegas at one of the ritzy hotels right on the strip. He spent a lot of money on wining and dining her. Then he purposed and she had said yes. Since they got back they have been going on mini vacations every other week. And not cheap ones. It's not like they went camping or anything.

They were planning a big expensive wedding. She wanted to spend about $5,000 on her dress alone. And now? Oh now they had to break their lease at the duplex they were renting and move in with his parents. They lived way outside their means and BC dropped a salary job, guaranteed money, to work a commission only job because she pushed him to saying that he could make a lot more money. Never mind it was further away from home. Never mind there is no base pay and is strictly commission. She thought there would be a lot more money in it. She was wrong. Her job makes decent money but not enough to support both of them, a $500 a month car payment, bills, rather high rent and their standard of living.

So rather than lowering her taste for expensive things (they could easily have afforded at least the rent and car payment if they had stopped buying such expensive shit and not going three hours away and staying in nice hotels every other weekend) they decided that they would break their lease and move in with his parents so she could still do the things she wanted to do. Plus, they won't pay his parents rent and they get the entire upstairs to themselves. They aren't even going to help pay bills. That is very disrespectful of both of them to his parents.

Now us? During the times that Master was not working or we both had low paying jobs it got scary. In fact at one point we were so behind on our bills that we had to sell Master's car to get caught up. It sucked. But we did it. Right now I make decent money and Master is not working. He is sending out applications like a mad man and I've been tossing out ones online for Him from time to time. We are busting our asses basically. But you know what? As tight as our finances have been we have never once even remotely considered moving in with family. We have always kept a roof over our heads, the bills paid, food in the house (although sometimes rather cheap food), food for the animals and at least some gas in the car. It's tight and it's frustrating but we do what we have to to keep our independence, not have to rely on anyone and not put anybody out. We have sometimes had to borrow money, but we pay it back every time as quickly as possible. It's normally about $50. There was one time that we borrowed $350, but that was in order to get the brakes and rotors replaced on our car as it was getting to the point that it was no longer safe to wait any longer. Even with that we are paying it back as much as we can each and every month.

But we don't live outside of our means. If we don't have the money then we don't have the fucking money. In fact we worry more about getting the animals their food before we worry about our own. If that means cutting down on our grocery money so be eat. We don't starve. We eat every day. It's just not steak that week.

And because of that, we get by and we have what we need. We may not be able to get things we want, things that aren't necessities, but we know that eventually we will. We know we can live with out and everything else is much more important.

I just can't understand people who must have the finer things even if that means having to move back in with mommy and daddy.

Long Time No See

Yesterday our friend ST took a long train ride and then hopped on a bus to come to our neck of the woods. He wanted to visit with us first and then go visit the family he has in the area. He got to our place around 4pm. I got home around 5:30pm. He had us go to Game Stop and he bought Master a video game for His upcoming birthday (which, remember, does not exist according to Master). From there we came home, ate dinner and played video games. We all took turns whooping each others asses in Soul Calibur 4. But then Master and ST played Marvel vs Capcom 3. I bowed out at that point because that game is not really my cup of tea. So I chilled and watched on and off while playing on the computer.

We talked quite a bit. We haven't seen him in more than 6 months, so there was a lot to catch up on. We told him about Master's family, BC and HG and that clusterfuck.

He told us how it's going with him, although he didn't have a lot to update us on. He's single right now and lonely. He has been looking for a boyfriend and we wished him luck on that. His last relationship ended badly and that was about two years ago. His last boyfriend was an alcoholic and according to ST got physically violent a few times when is when ST decided enough was enough. We aren't sure if that last part is true. His boyfriend might have just pushed him back when ST got in his face and since ST is such a drama queen he can weave that into a full on beating. And quite honestly he really likes attention, and sympathy is one of his favorites forms of attention. So he's quite dramatic.

But that's ST. Master and I have known that about him for a long time so when something just doesn't add up we just leave it alone and change the subject.

He left at about 10pm to go to his cousin's house to crash out. He's in town until late Sunday but I don't think he'll visit with us again only because there are a lot of people he wants to touch base with. But at least we got to see him for a while.

Just Say It Already

Our friend BC has been with his current girlfriend for almost a year and a half now. He plans on purposing on their 2 year anniversary. He has already purchased the ring.

The problem is that he still hasn't told her that he loves her. So yeah, popping the question may seem a little awkward.

So he came over to our place tonight. Master is like... his mentor in a way.

They have been best friends for 20+ years. I have known BC almost as long as I have known Master, give or take a few months.

So he came over to talk about this mental block he has regarding telling her that he loves her. He feels it. She knows he feels it, just because of his actions. But he just hasn't been able to bring himself to say it to her.

While he was here he admitted that his mental block is because of past experience. He doesn't have a great track record with relationships. In fact, he is 34 years old and this is the longest relationship he's ever had.

His past experience, in his mind, is that as soon as he said those three words "I love you" the relationship went to shit. And he's scared that's going to happen now. My whole point was that she has already said it to him, constantly, and eventually if he doesn't start saying it back she is going to grow frustrated, think the relationship isn't going anywhere and leave him. Which I'm pretty sure would kill him inside.

So there was a lot of talk, mainly between BC and Master. I was trying to stay out of that side of things as much as possible and waited to speak until later when the mood was a bit lighter.

But it sounds like he's finally going to go ahead and say it to his girlfriend. Which is wonderful. And I honestly think it'll help his relationship with her in ways he hasn't even thought of yet.

So best of luck to him.

He stayed afterward, we had dinner, and we joked around. He stayed until about 9pm and headed home.

It's now a little past 10pm and I am not the least bit tired. I'm hoping that I get tired before 2am because I have to work tomorrow and as long as I'm in bed by that time I'll get four hours of sleep.

It's so hard resetting your internal clock each week. But I enjoy staying up late on the weekends and don't see myself giving that up anytime soon.

Other than that there isn't a lot on my mind. I seem to have writer's block at the moment. Tomorrow, if I'm not overly busy at work, I'll hopefully think of a topic to write about.

Good News, Bad News Kind of Day

Today I got a piece of great news and also a piece of horrible news.

First the great news, since that's the one I got first. Master called me while I was at work today to tell me that He has a job interview tomorrow! *screams happily* That's awesome! The last place He interviewed for, and kept putting that carrot in front of His face still hasn't gotten back to Him and it's been over a month now. So this is wonderful! It'd be third shift, so the interview is actually happening during 3rd shift hours. I doubt I'll be able to sleep while He's gone!

It being 3rd shift actually kind of rocks. Master is already a night owl, so no big deal there. And that makes the only having one car thing so much easier since I work 1st shift. He's very excited about it, because He likes 3rd shift work. He'd much rather go into work at 10pm at night rather than at 6am.

So a metric fuck ton of luck to my Husband! We really need Him to get this job. It's close to home, it's good pay, and it's something He actually wants. So hopefully this one will work out.

I'm so excited for Him! I told Him He made my day when He called, cause He totally did.

Okay, now on to the horrible news. Our friend SS sent me a text today stating that she was going to have to cancel coming over on Friday. I was a bit disappointed until I learned why.

Apparently she had to have an emergency full hysterectomy done. She went in to have an out patient surgery to have a cyst removed from her ovary, and it turned into a hell of a lot more than that. As soon as the doctor got an actual look at everything she decided to take everything out. It was that bad.

She's only in her early 30's, and she seemed perfectly healthy except for some abdominal pain. So this was quite a shock to everyone. She is still in the hospital and is being released on Friday. She'll then have to take at least four weeks off of work, and she had to cancel her trip that she was taking in two weeks.

Thankfully she has a huge support system around her, including us, and is expected to make a quick recovery.

So lots of healing vibes to SS!

So that's my news for the day. I might post again later. I don't have a lot kink wise going on in my brain right now due to the news about Master's interview and SS's surgery. But maybe something will come to mind later.

Good Friends, Good Times

Today Master and I actually left the apartment and didn't spend money. *gasp*

We had made plans with Master's best friend, BC, to go down and visit him and his girlfriend. These plans were made about 3 weeks in advance. Both BC and HG (BC's girl) have crazy busy schedules, so when you want to make plans with them you have to write that shit down on the calendar and make it well in advance.

So we left here a little late, because we were running behind, but we got there within 15 minutes of 2pm, which was when we were supposed to be there.

Master and BC spent most of the time by themselves. So that left me with HG.

Normally, I fucking hate it when that sort of thing happens. Not necessarily with HG, but any of our friends' wives or girlfriends. It's just... awkward. I'm a different sort of gal and I find talking openly about sex lives to be perfectly acceptable. Most other women do not, at least not until they know you really well.

But honestly, I haven't really had much of a chance to get to know HG, even though they have been dating for over a year now. Normally the men folk are around and the conversations are pretty much all over the place. So I didn't mind this time.

And it turns out I like her. She's a sweet gal and really loves BC. She brought up sex before I did. I know! I was just as shocked as you are! No, not like that though. She's straight. I meant that she brought up sex in general, not sex with me... *laughs*

But there were no awkward moments, or anything. The conversation just flowed. And then she showed me their porn collection. She also didn't get all weirded out when I told her that I'm bi and actually looking for a female friend with benefits. It's not that I want in her pants, she's not my type, but we were talking about sex and some other stuff (midget hermaphrodite porn to be exact... don't ask), and I brought that up. She was like, "That's cool.... so yeah... then we saw this one porn.."

It was awesome.

I think it's great that her and I get along so well. Master and BC have been best friend for 20 years. And BC plans on marrying this woman, and BC and I are pretty close too. So this just makes everything easier. I even told Master that I want to ask HG out to coffee or something one day, when she has some free time. Just me and her.

I have literally never done that before, with any female one of our friends have been with. So this is a pretty big deal.

And apparently HG thinks I'm awesome, according to BC. *smiles*

I think I may actually have a female friend guys! Holy hell.

Now I just have to have a female friend that I can be intimate with, and I'll be good to go. Any volunteers? *giggles*

Catching Up With Friends

Today Master and I stumbled out of bed around 10am or so. Shortly there after we were back in bed, although not to sleep. ;-)

Master took His shower, and then I ran down to the local store to get rabbit food.

After that we spend most of the day relaxing.

Around 5pm our friend BC came over. We all hopped into his truck and went out to dinner where his girlfriend, HG was waiting for us. We ate dinner, caught up on things that have been going on, etc. We had seen BC a few weeks ago, but we hadn't seen HG for a good couple of months or so. So it was nice to sit down and just chit chat a bit.

After dinner we all came back to our apartment and talked. We mainly talked about animals, as Radar ran in between every one, really enjoying the extra attention. Ya know, cause he's so attention starved normally. *rolls eyes*

They stayed until about 9pm or so. They left, I took my bath, and now Master and I are just kind of doing our own things for right now. He has given me permission to stay up a little past my usual bedtime of 11pm. I'll probably be a bit more tired at work tomorrow, but I don't really care at this point. I'm not tired at all and it's already 10pm.

After some nice comments on one of my previous posts, I've decided to hold off on bugging my business manager about my new position's start date. I'm going to hold off until the end of July/beginning of August. That is about the time frame she initially said I would be starting. So I figure that's a safe bet, and wouldn't be seen as being a "pest".

So more waiting. Ah well. At least I know I have the job.

Friendships

I received a comment on my "The Cast" page, from Laani. She asked if I had any friends who I was not related to, and did not know through Master.

The short answer is no, I do not.

The long answer, goes as follows:

I had a lot of friends in Elementary School and Jr. High. But when my mom pulled me out of public school at the end of 9th grade and decided to home school me instead, those friends became fewer and fewer. I didn't talk to them that much. They were busy. I was busy. Whatever. So it got down to a handful of people that I was still friends with. Then I lost touch with more of those people. Some of them moved away. The others I don't really remember why I stopped talking to them.

And then it was down to two, both of them females. One I had been friends with for four years at the time. Her and I stopped talking because her boyfriend didn't like me and she decided that if her boyfriend of two months didn't like me, then I wasn't worth hanging out with. (We were like... 18 at the time.)

So then it was down to one. This one, actually met Master. I started dating Master when I was 20. This particular friend I had known since the 6th grade. So needless to say it was my longest lasting friendship. Her and I stopped talking because she started using heavy drugs, and started using me for money and car rides. Then I started to notice small things missing from my apartment after she came over. I had tried to help her, talk her into going to rehab. Something. But as I'm sure most of you know, you can't help someone who doesn't want help.

And so I severed that friendship as well.

So for the past... wow... almost 6 years, it has only been Master, myself, His friends who have adopted me, and both of our families. Then of course there are the people I work with. But I don't really count them. I mean I talk to them, we joke around, I know parts of their lives outside of work as they know parts of mine. But that's where it ends. Once it's time to punch out for the day and I'm at home, there is no communication between us.

When it comes to friendships it's pretty easy for me to sever that connection if you fuck me over. And when I say fuck me over, I usually mean something big. It's not like my friend and I have a fight over something stupid and then I never talk to them again.

I don't give a lot of chances, regardless of how long I've known said person.

And honestly, outside of the people I am friends with through my Husband, I have no need or want to try and form new friendships. I'll talk to people, and joke around. But I'm not going to try and hang out, ya know?

I'm perfectly content just with my Husband and His (our?) small circle of friends. Master pretty much is my social life. Every now and then we'll both get a bug up our ass and want to hang out with our friends a lot. But it's a cycle, and once that cycle dies down.. hanging out with our friends dwindles down with it. But our friends are very much like that as well, so it works out just fine.

Before I Forget

This is to make up for my lack of posting yesterday. It was a very long, busy day.

BC picked me up and took me to work. Work was okay, but I found out that due to the move that the company is making in a couple of weeks we are going to be slammed between now and then. Joy. So maybe it's a good thing that BC has to pick me up at 5:15am on Monday. I'll get some extra hours in and be able to at least try and get a head start.

I got out of work at noon. Master picked me up and we were going to meet His dad for lunch at 1pm. Well Master took the scenic route home. That was nice. Sometimes I just enjoy the long way home ya know? We still would have shown up about a half an hour early, so Master asked if I wanted to get some new stockings. I blinked and said, "You want to go to the porn shop before we go have lunch with Your dad?" He shrugged and said, "Why not?"

Okay then. *laughs*

See when I get new stockings they are usually from the local porn shop. So off to the porn shop we go! Well, Master bought me a new pair of thigh high stockings, two new outfits, and a tank top I found in there that I love which reads, "Real women have tattoos." :-D

So we got back in the car after checking out and went to the resturant where we were supposed to meet up.

Well, I got to meet my father-in-law for the first time. And Master got to meet His two younger half-sisters for the first time. I got a nice big hug right away and he said that he was glad to finally meet me. My father-in-law is taller than Master. And Master is 6ft4.

And with me being only 5ft1 I felt bad that he had to hunch over so far to give me a hug.

So we sat down and had lunch. It was great! We talked and exchanged stories. It was a blast and a half. I really like him. He's a very down to earth guy.

This may sound like a weird way to explain it, but I'm going to try anyway. My mother-in-law when I first met her would say things "behind my back" to Master about how I was so young, and later on down the line I might decide to leave Him because He was "to old" for me. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?!

So that didn't start us off on the right foot. And also, my mother-in-law is a very.... white collar person. A yuppie if you will. And while there is nothing wrong with that, I've never really been comfortable around yuppies. I don't fit in with them. I have a white collar job, but I always have been and always will be a blue collar girl. Just like Master. He is a very blue collar type person.

I grew up in a blue collar family, on both sides. And it doesn't help that whenever Christmas or my birthday comes around my mother-in-law buys me clothes. Which is nice of her, but she buys me clothes that I would call "work clothes". Ya know, clothes that are appropriate for the office. Which is great! Saves me the trouble of having to buy them. But then she asks me why I never wear them outside of work. And I have tried to explain to her that that isn't my style of dress outside of work. I'm a jeans and a t-shirt kind of gal. And she harps on me about it. And I end up feeling like she is trying to play dress up with a doll and make me into a younger version of herself. (Ew! Bad! No!)

Where as for the short period of time that I got to visit with my father-in-law, I could instantly tell that he is also a blue collar individual. So I felt very, very relaxed around him. As if I was talking to my own father. Ya know?

So anywho. We leave and as we're leaving my father-in-law notices that one of Master's half sisters who is all of 12 years old, is taller than me. He starts picking on me about it and I just laugh with him. I'm used to it, and it in good humor. It wasn't like he was pointing and laughing.

We go home for about a half and hour and then go down to my father's house. We had originally planned to do that today, but yesterday afternoon worked better for my dad. So okay. We went down there for a few hours. I hadn't seen my dad in a couple of months, so it felt good to catch up with him.

After that, we came home again and SS calls and says she can't come over until about 11pm. I said that was fine. So she comes over, and we hang out for a bit. We go to a local bar and have a few drinks and talk about this, that and the other. Around 1:30am we come back to our apartment and talk until 3:30am. She decided to head home and get some sleep.

I was somewhat thankful for that. Not because I wasn't having a good time, but because I had been up since 6:30am Friday morning. I was a tired kitten.

So Master and I drag ourselves to the bedroom and go to sleep.

Today we are going down to my mother's house. I'm surprised I got up at 9:30am today, since we went to bed so late. But the phone rang and I noticed Master wasn't in bed anymore, so I couldn't fall back asleep. So here I am typing out this novel of a blog post. *giggles*

I'm sure I'll do another post at some point today. But there you have it. Our fun filled Friday. :-)

Had a Great Halloween

I know, I know. I didn't do a post last night. But that was because we had company over.

Master and I were trying to think of something to do that wouldn't cost a lot of money. Or preferably, any money at all. My dad had invited us down but we didn't have the gas money to go down there. (He lives 45 minutes away.)

So Master was on a social network website and noticed that one of our good friends was also bored and looking for something to do. So He told me to call SS.

Thankfully she answered her phone and said that she would love to come over and visit with us! Yay! She said she would come over around 7pm. That left us with about 6 hours to kill.

So at one point while Master was playing a video game, I crawled over to Him and started sucking His dick. He put down His game controller, and swept my hair up and wrapped it around His hand. He's thoughtful like that. Apparently it was the kind of blow job that leaves Him trying to focus His eyes and He can't really walk in a straight line for a good half hour after. *giggles*

Once He had recovered, we then went grocery shopping. Yay for getting a weeks worth of groceries for $30. Rock on.

When we got home we started cleaning the apartment. Master was nice enough to clean the bathroom sink and pick up the dog fur that forever is accumulating around the apartment because our dog, Ghost, never stops shedding. Meanwhile I did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen counter.

Then we basically just relaxed until SS came over. Once she got here we just sat around the apartment talking. She then mentioned that she was hungry. I said I could toss a frozen pizza in, but she didn't really feel like pizza. She then offered to treat us out to dinner, which was very sweet of her. I think we must have asked her like five times if she was sure. She assured us that it's something she wanted to do, because we had treated her out last time. So we all went to dinner and had a blast.

When we got back to the apartment, around 10pm or so, we lined up some movies on Netflix. We talked for a bit longer before starting up a movie I hadn't seen since I was in Jr. High (or middle school as it's called now).

The very first Faces of Death movie from 1978. Oh man. There was some gross shit in that movie. And it was a lot longer than I remembered.

So after that one was done we watched a movie none of us had seen before called Death of a Ghost Hunter. The description made it seem like it was going to suck, but we decided to give it a try. Um. Yeah. Can we say fucked up? It wasn't scary in the traditional sense of horror movies. It was more of a creep factor. Like the kind of thing that makes you want to shake yourself because you think something is either on you, or touching you. I really liked it.

By the time that movie was over it was 2am. So I went around the apartment changing all the clocks back one hour. So then it was 1am, once again. (Gotta love daylight savings time.)

We sat around talking about all sorts of things until the clock read 3am. At that point SS decided it was time to go home. She said if she had any nightmares she was going to call me. *laughs* No phone calls, so apparently she was to tired to have a nightmare by the time she got home.

Master still seems amazed at how well SS and I get along. She's a great friend and is a lot of fun to hang out with. We said we'd have to get together more often. :-)

Shortly after she left Master decided that He was ready to pass out as well. So we went to the bedroom, curled up, and drifted off to sleep.

Today I have to get new directions for us to go to the unemployment hearing tomorrow. The original directions I had will no longer work because one of the off ramps is going to be closed tomorrow. Those bastards.

Other than that? Not a lot going on. But I'm having a great weekend! Even though I started my period and my lower back is killing me.

Really, Really Weird

Okay... I know that in previous posts I have said how much Master and I can not stand LN's wife, MN.

And I know I posted about how her and I had this long talk about how I feel when she "flirts" with Master. Well since that time, we have not seen her face to face. However, we have talked to her on the phone. And the interaction between both Master and her, as well as her and myself are vastly different. There isn't that tension there anymore. And she doesn't make comments to Master that I used to find walking a fine line between friendly joking and flirting. So her and I have actually been getting along rather well.

Well tonight she called and she talked to Master for a little while, then she asked to talk to me. So I talked to her for about a half hour. I asked her what was up with LN's hissy fit. She said that she honestly doesn't know but that he has been acting really weird lately.

She vented to me and apologized for it. I told her not to worry about it. She then asked me, out of no where if her and I were "cool". As in, do I hold anything against her. I thought about it for a moment and realized that as much as I have disliked this woman for the past four years, that no... I don't hold anything against her. So I told her that her and I had our talk, and that we had moved past that and that I was actually really enjoying the fact that her and I are getting along so well.

This is all very new to me, since I normally don't get along with women very well. And I felt for her, with some of the things she was complaining about regarding her husband, LN. I've been down those roads before with my ex. Hence why he is my ex. It all sounded so damn familiar. The only difference being that her and LN have been together for a lot longer then my ex and I were.

She actually admitted to me that she had thought about divorcing him but that she just couldn't do it because she does love him. So I listened and after she and I got off the phone Master and I had a very long talk.

I told Him that it felt very strange to be getting along with MN so well now. He completely agreed. She had told us some things that had happened long before LN and Master got into this recent "fight". And we remember hearing them from LN's point of view and how he had made himself out to be the victim. But when MN told me about them tonight, it shed a whole new light on the subject. And yes, I know that every story has two sides to it. But back then MN and I were not getting along so I was looking for any reason to not like her. Ya know? Petty shit, yes. I realize that now. And I apologized to MN for not bringing up my problems with her before hand. She said she understood. So her and I are totally fine now. She still wants to be our friend even if her husband does not. That says a lot about it though. I mean LN and Master had been friends for many years. And here is MN going, "Dude get over yourself, they are our friends." Meanwhile he is willing to totally write us off over joking around.

It's weird. And it also made me realize that the stresses in Master's and my relationship are so small comparatively speaking. It makes me feel like a fool for letting it grow out of proportion. Sometimes you just need that outside, unintentional, smack upside the back of your head to make you realize it.

A Night Out

Yesterday Master and I had a really nice day/night. During the day we basically stayed at home and relaxed. We had plans to meet up with a group of friends at 7pm. So around 5pm I took a bath, and found the outfit that I wanted to wear. Master allowed me to pick out my own outfit for the evening, and He wasn't disappointed. I chose a pinstripe jacket and matching skirt (that is pretty short), a matching hat, my favorite pair of nylons, and my 5 inch heels.

We got to the bar a little after 7pm due to traffic, but only His god sister was there at that time anyway. So it wasn't a big deal. Around 8pm L and M (the husband and wife that I usually bitch about here) showed up. B and his girlfriend weren't able to show up until damn near midnight because B had to work.

We had a great time, watching people play pool (I don't play and Master didn't feel like it), talking, joking around, and just generally having a damn good time. Although at one point Master's god sister introduced me to some friends of her's and one of them decided to try and pick apart what I was wearing. Apparently she was really into fashion and told me that I was taking a "fashion risk" by wearing those particular pair of nylons with my outfit, and then adding open toed heels to the mix. I let her go on for a little bit and when she finally stopped I just looked at her, kind of shrugged my shoulders, and said "I look good. I don't really care about fashion risks." She looked at me like I grew a second head, but I'm okay with that.

I've never been one to be worried about fashion. I wear what I like and what Master thinks I look good in. And He thought I looked damn good last night. So it's all good.

Master and I were weaving through our group of friends and talking, play fighting, shit like that. (We're like a bunch of teenagers in that respect.. play fighting and shit...)

But something happened, as I knew that it would, that put daggers in my eyes. Master was over by a pinball machine and was talking to another friend of ours that had showed up unexpectedly. Well that friend walked away and M (the wife of the couple that I bitch about) was over there. She started to talk to Master about how Master should allow L (her husband) to play a song on the jukebox. We kept steering him away from it because he was playing bullshit like Michael Bolton. Um no fucking thank you. Anyway, that wasn't it. While she was talking to Him, she stood up and draped her arms on his shoulders and kind of brought her hands around His neck and leaning into Him. Que dagger eyes. Master pulled back so that she was no longer leaning on Him and her hands had to break away from His neck. He moved slightly to the side trying to break fully free but people who were playing pool were in the way. From the point that her hands went up, He had been looking over her shoulder at me with this look of "Help me!" on His face.

I looked at B, who was standing next to me, and he saw what was happening. I said, "I'm about to go over there and snatch her head clean off her neck." He asked if I wanted him to move and I said no. As soon as that was said Master was able to fully break free and came to where I was. This all took place in a matter of moments. Basically it happened in the amount of time it took for the guy shooting pool who was blocking Master from moving any further to take his shot.

As soon as He got to where I was, I said something to Him.. I can't quite remember what the words were.. but my tone made it clear that I was pissed. Immediately Master started to say, "Hon, you saw.. I didn't do anything.."

I reached up, cupped His chin in my hand, and cut Him off by saying, "Baby I'm not mad at you. I'm pissed off at that bitch." He nodded that He understood and then He sat down on the bar stool and I stood in front of Him as He wrapped His arms around me.

We continued to have a good time until about 1am. At that point the jukebox was overrun with hip hop and rap, and Master's god sister was getting drunk to the point that she would not stop making this "Whooooo!" noises whenever something, anything at all, amusing happened. I really love His god sister, but when she gets to that point while drinking, I can't stand her because her voice is cutting through my brain and giving me a migraine. So Master and I left after saying goodbye to everyone.

On the ride home we talked about the night and what M had done. I told Him I was sick of this "not causing waves" bullshit. He agreed completley and told me that I could e-mail M in the morning. E-mail seemed like the best idea. Now where as I fucking hate M, we still like her husband.. L. So e-mail is something where I can sit down and sort my thoughts out rather then going straight to "Bitch, please."

But I'll get back to that in a minute. Once we got home we watched a couple of episodes of "Dog the Bounty Hunter", ate nachos, and then went to bed. Master fucked me hard and it was fucking amazing! I had kept the nylons on from the outfit I had been wearing. *smirks*

We went to sleep rather quickly after that.

Master got up around 9:30am. He allowed me to sleep until about 11:30am. I had asked Him why He allowed me to sleep so late and He said it was because I looked comfy. He's so sweet.

After I was a bit more awake I sat down and started on the e-mail to M. Master had loosened my leash on the subject to the point where I could tell her exactly what I thought as long as I wasn't a flat out bitch about it.

And in case anyone is wondering, the reason why I didn't go over there and rip her arms down or why Master didn't do that and instead was just trying to move away.. was because we like that bar, we were surrounded by friends, and we didn't really want to start anything. Master was trying to be as polite, yet quick, about it and I was trying to behave my damn self.

Back to the e-mail...

I told her that I realize she claims she is a tom boy and that she prefers male friends to females. Also that she doesn't get a lot of affection from L and seems to seek said affection from her male friends. I then told her that I don't care what she does with her other male friends, because that was none of my business, nor does it concern me. But when it comes to my husband I wanted the shit to stop. I told her that yes I play fight and hug her husband, but the way I interact with my guy friends and the way she interacts with her's are two entirely different things. I joke around and play fight, and I give them a hug. That is the extent of it. But she leans on them, sometimes grinds on them, and hangs on them. And in no uncertain terms the hugging bit was fine, anything beyond that makes both Master and myself highly uncomfortable. I told her it was going to stop, and it was going to stop now. I even told her that we had talked to her husband about this shit in the past and he had just shrugged it off. I also told her that apparently I should have brought this to her attention sooner but that we had been trying not to rock the boat because we weren't sure how she would react.

I told her that this had nothing to do with being insecure or anything of that nature, but that it made us uncomfortable. I then told her that I wasn't trying to be a bitch, which is why I waited until this morning to say anything about last night. I wanted to be calm.

Master read over the five or six paragraph e-mail and approved of everything I had said. In fact He told me that He thought I was more polite than He would have been. Like I said, I still like L.. most of the time.

I knew she was online when I sent her that e-mail. It was sent around noon. She hasn't responded. There has been no phone call. I'm thinking I pissed her off. But I don't really care.

If she really wants to start something with me, Master already said I have His permission to let my claws out. And based on a few other things both Master and I saw last night (that does not involve Master)... I have plenty of shit to bring up.

I do have to admit that I feel a lot better after writing that e-mail, even if I was more polite than I really wanted to be.

Back To The Grindstone

Well, the weekend was a blast. I had a lot of fun with Master and His god sister.

You know what? It seems that the way we are when we go out to the bar is a bit different then it used to be. If Master and I went with a group of friends, sometimes I felt ignored. I felt pushed to the side. Master is very... charismatic. Especially when it comes to His friends. They all want to drag Him off to show Him something, to talk in private, etc. In fact I remember quite a few times where we would go out with friends and I'd end up sitting on the end of the line.. out of the conversation. Not because I wanted to, but because everyone else would want to sit next to Him, closer to Him.

I'm a big girl and all, but that stung. Master would try and drag me into the conversation or have me sit next to Him.. but people would move, people would cut me off while I was talking or just simply talk over me..

Everyone wanted a piece of Master. It drove me nuts. I don't share well, especially when I'm being excluded. Ya wanna know who would do such things? I'll give you three guesses, and the first two don't count. The husband and wife that I always bitch about. Oh yes, them.

But whenever they aren't there... not only does everyone wanna talk to Master.. they want to talk to me. They want to include me. His god sister loves me to bits. Yeah they'll shoot pool and I'll be sitting at the bar or at a table.. but they talk to me. They joke around, they listen when I talk.

And maybe this is just poor memory on my part, but it seems like Master tries more to pull me in too. He checks on me, makes sure I'm having a good time. And I do believe we flirt more with one another than we used to, if that's possible.

I'm not saying He ever really ignored me in the past, but it just feels different now. I don't know why. But I'm sure we'll find out for sure this Saturday. This Saturday is when a group of us, including the married couple, are supposed to meet up for a few drinks.

I think part of the reason it feels different now, is because I'm more comfortable with myself in a bar setting. Ya see, back then.. I was barely old enough to get in or I wasn't used to being in a bar. I was still figuring out what kind of bars I felt comfortable in, what I liked to drink, etc.. so yeah. I'm sure that's part of it as well. I'm more myself now.

Okay so enough about that.

Master and I just went to sleep last night. Master's back was hurting, and we both had to get up early. So this morning when we got up we talked for a few minutes before I had to head out the door. My day at work was a lot more relaxed than I thought it was going to be. Normally Mondays are really hectic. Today was pretty smooth.

Master was able to pick me up. We hit the ATM, got food, and then went home. We watched a movie while we ate dinner and then I took my bath. I started my period today. Joy and rapture. I guess that explains the crying thing last week. Damn PMS bullshit.

Things like PMS and my period in general have been different for the last year or so. I hate that. Stupid body changes.

Sleepy Kitten

Last night when Master and I originally went to bed, I wasn't tired. I wasn't tired because I had slept until damn near noon and we were going to bed at 11pm. We were going to bed at that time, because we both had to get up and go to work in the morning.

So I tossed and turned for a little bit. When I finally did fall asleep I woke up at least once an hour. So this morning I was dragging. Thankfully I had an energy drink, which helped until about 1pm today.Then it wore off, and regular caffeine wasn't cutting it. So I'm tired to say the least.

Work went okay today. The other clerk that helps me left at 1:30pm today and she is leaving at 2pm tomorrow. I have been there for a little over three months now and she has left work early or taken a day off damn near once a week since I started. It's aggravating.

Master was able to pick me up from work today, and I told Him about this. He told me to hang in there because they will recognize the fact that I have had perfect attendance since I started and it will show that I am dedicated to my job.

Now, would I mind taking a day off? No, I wouldn't. In fact that would be nice.. but I know we can't afford the cut on the paycheck and I want to go as long as I can without calling in or scheduling a day off. I have scheduled one day off.... but it's not until New Year's Eve. So I'll have been there about 9 months by that point.

When we got home Master cooked dinner. He made pork cutlets. They were so yummy!

Him and I are doing really well. We got a lot of quality time in over the past weekend, and it has done us a world of good. Not to mention the fact that we've been getting out of the apartment more. We've been visiting family, friends, and Master is even getting into contact with some of His family that He hasn't talked to in years. So it seems another chapter is beginning in our lives. It should prove to be interesting.

We had made plans to meet up with a group of friends on the 18th, but that is slowly but surely going to the way side. Not because we don't want to do it.. but here let me explain.

There is this one couple that we hang out with. Master has been friends with the husband for a long time. Neither Master nor myself like the wife. She's a cunt.

So anyway, they are the type of people that you have to do everything their way, do it when they want to do it, etc and so on. A really good example is when Master and I got married. The husband and wife were going to be at the court house with us, a long with about four other friends. Well the other four people showed up at our apartment, and we all went out to breakfast. The husband and wife however, didn't want to come to our apartment, or go out to breakfast. We had told them that we wanted everyone to drive down to the court house together. That was fine with them, but they wanted us to go to their house to meet them. And then from there we would all go to the court house. Never mind it was a good 20 minutes out of our way... *grumble*

So yeah, needless to say that's what we did. The husband was the best man.... so it's what we did. It was annoying at the time but we were in such good moods that nothing was going to bring that down.

Okay, so back to the here and now. We had picked the 18th because it was the "only" day that this couple would be available. And it had to be in the area, because they didn't want to drive that far. (Probably because they are going to get smashed.) So we planned it for that. Well one friend can't go because she has other plans. Master's god sister may not be able to show up because she can't afford the gas to come up here. And B might not be able to make it because he might have to work.

So that is disappointing. But then I call the couple in question, to see how they are doing. And I said, "So we're still on for the 18th right?" And the mother fucker didn't know what I was talking about. He had completely forgotten. So I reminded him that the date was his idea. And he said, "Well shoot me off an e-mail so that I remember and we'll see what we can do."

Fucker.

So Master and I talked on the way home and we think we'll switch the date and/or the place so that more people can show up. And if the couple can't? Fuck em. To bad, so sad. Cry me a fucking river.

I'm sick of pandering to them. They aren't better than us, as much as they like to think they are. We'll have to hash out more details before I start calling the other people in the group though.

So anyway, I'm sleepy. I still have to take my bath and try and relax before passing the hell out tonight. So I'll cut it here.