How He Sees Me

I don't know why this popped into my head today, but over the weekend I commented on how long my hair has gotten over the fall and winter. During the summer the heat had gotten to me as it had the year before and Master cut my hair short again. (He did it the year prior as well.) Master liked it short, but it also felt odd that He couldn't really use my hair as a handle. I mean yes, He could get me by the hair and it would actually hurt more because the hair was shorter, but He couldn't use it like a handle like He had been able to before He cut it.

It's not that He thought it looked bad, He enjoyed the look. So I asked Master if this summer He wanted me to keep it long or cut it short again. He told me that even though He liked the short look He prefers the long hair and wants me to keep it that way. I have no problem with that at all. I think I look good either way but since I've had long hair most of my life it just looks more familiar to me and there for looks better for some odd reason.

Plus, I know Master loves it when my hair is long, as He's stated. Right now it's just past the tips of my shoulder blades, so it's almost to the middle of my back. I will continue to grow it out and will just make sure to keep hair ties on me in case it gets too damn hot out.

The other thing with my hair is that I used to love putting hair dye in it. I had blonde streaks for quite some time (I'm a brunette) and Master seemed to enjoy those for a while as well. I had them when we first met. But I got tired of the blonde streaks so I just let them grow out and chopped off the ends once it was long enough.

Not that long ago Master allowed me to try and dye my hair again. It was supposed to be a dark auburn with red highlights. Honestly it didn't make that much of a change. It just kind of gave my hair a reddish tint to it. It didn't look horrible, it just wasn't the result I thought it would be. That was a while ago. I don't remember how long exactly. But now it's very, very faint and just looks more like natural reddish highlights that I get in the summer anyway. In other words, it's faded dramatically.

Master has told me that He prefers me more natural. Whether that be make-up, hair or nails. My make-up is pretty basic. Lipstick and eye liner. And I don't wear it every day and Master doesn't really want me to either. My nails? He doesn't mind at all when I paint them. But I had acrylic nails for a while and yes they looked good but Master prefers my natural nails, so I let those grow out a bit and took them off myself. That hurt. So the hair... no more hair dye unless He tells me to dye it, which is unlikely. I'll just let this faded look grow out and eventually trim the hair little by little until it's all gone.

I don't know why I liked dying my hair. I still kind of do. But it's not about me. Yes, I have to look at myself in the mirror every day but it's what He finds attractive that I am most concerned with.

Plus side to Master wanting me to stay more natural? Less maintenance. I don't have to worry about getting my nails "filled" every few weeks or making sure my roots aren't showing, etc.

I have some silver hairs showing. Not many, just a few. Apparently I'm not going gray, I'm going silver! Hell, who knows, once it starts showing up more it might grow into a really kick ass streak of silver.

I know I have fought Him with the hair dye a few times over, just because I wanted it done and thought it would look nice. But what He wants is more important and I'm finally getting that through my thick skull. I've always actually felt that way but sometimes I tried to convince Him what we should go with what I wanted and that's not a good thing at all.

Some people may think it's only because of our dynamic. While that does play a part in it it's also because we're married. He's my Husband and I want to look good for Him. What I may think would look better doesn't mean He would agree. And I'm always trying to please Him. I always want Him to be proud of me and to have me on His arm. And how do I make sure I look good on His arm? By going with what He wants.

I also want to start buying more skirts and dresses. He says I look really good in jeans, but He wants more skirts and dresses. And so I shall buy them. I'll have to do it piece by piece but that's okay. It's only March and I have all summer to find cute outfits that He'll love on me.