Bloody Hell

I know I've been complaining about work a lot lately and how busy it's been. Well, it just got turned up a notch. Now everyone in the department is swamped. Before it was only a few select people, myself included. Now? It's everyone. And we're all bitching about it. Every single one of us. Especially since our supervisor has either not been in his office, has his office door closed or is in a meeting. I don't think he's really been available for about two weeks now. Yes, we can work without him, obviously, but there are some key things we could really use him for and he just isn't available.

For the past while I've only really had to cut my lunches a little short and clock in early. During the times I'm clocked in I'm busting my ass, but at least I got a small breather on my lunch break.

For the past three days I've taken a whopping 10 minute lunch break.

And as a result of me busting my ass continuously my fibromyalgia is acting up a lot. Thankfully, when I'm at home it slacks off and I can take a hot bath or shower and it helps. But while I'm actually at work everything is tense and I'm in pain.

I used to be on social security for it to be perfectly honest. Granted, that was when I was a teenager and it was mainly to help my parents out with medical bills.

But once I became 19 it all went away. Partially because I stopped going to most of my doctors. They weren't helping at all.

Well, we've been doing trigger point injections and they don't seem to be doing much, so lets do more of them. Into my shoulders. That shit fucking hurt. It was a lot of here take this drug, also take this one. Let's throw in an MRI for fun because we can't figure out what is causing your severe migraines. Nope everything is normal there. Still not sure, but here's a pain killer and we won't look into it any further.

 Never mind physical therapy was helping for a while due to the ultrasounds and massages. They cut that out eventually as it wasn't "helping" it was only "maintaining". What the fuck kind of logic is that? It's not making me better, but it is helping me keep to a lower pain level but that's not enough to warrant physical therapy. However, we can still pop you full of pills that are only masking pain or not touching it at all depending on which one.

They eventually took me off muscle relaxers as well and just gave me more pain pills. Why did they take me off muscle relaxers? Something about worrying about the long term effects. Ya know, cause shit tons of pain pills can't have any.

All of this is how I found out I'm allergic to codeine. That really sucks though because a lot of the pain killers that would probably help me have codeine in them.

I'm sure you can see why I stopped going.

So now I just do what I can and take over the counter pain pills when I just can't cope with it myself. Hot showers and baths help. Master is kind enough to give me shoulder rubs and back rubs. Sometimes I'm too sore for that though, which sucks because it really does help a lot.

Why haven't I sought more treatment since then? Because I know it'll be like it was before. Eventually, if it gets bad enough as I get older, I might go look into some more. But I have a couple of relatives who also have fibromyalgia and they are still going through what I used to before I turned 19. I've been coping without a doctor for 10 years. I'd say I'm doing pretty damn good, with Master's help of course.