Kick Start

I literally could not think of anything to post about tonight. Aside from work and just relaxing at home there isn't a lot going on. That isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it doesn't help with posts.

I even sat here with the post page open and turned around in the chair and asked Master what He thought I should write about. He didn't have any ideas either. I didn't want to just ask to skip my post. I enjoy doing my blog posts and tonight wasn't one of the nights where I just didn't want to do it at all. I just couldn't figure out what the hell to write about.

So I needed a little kick start. I went and found a journal prompt that I found interesting and will go from there.

"If you had the choice to leave the SM part of your relationship behind, could you?"

If I had the choice, I would stay how we are. I know our dynamic might change as we get older or as other things in our lives change. It's changed a lot over the past eight and a half years, believe me. Change isn't bad. At least not in this case. I'm glad that we can continue to keep our dynamic intact.

I like to think that even if something happened where we had to put it on the back burner as far as the "in your face" parts of the service goes that we could still keep the little things in place. By in your face I mean it's so obvious that it's smacking you in the face. Like kneeling at His feet or something of that nature.

For instance, if we had to have someone stay with us for a while or something that wouldn't be possible unless that person wasn't there. But I know that the little things (and the bedroom dynamic) would stay there. We've been together so long and in this dynamic so long that we know what the little movements or looks mean. We can both translate that perfectly damn near every time. So that would all be there. But the more obvious things would have to fall back and become rare.

That is a huge for instance though. I don't ever see something like that happen, it's just an example.

But if for some reason we had to drop the dynamic, and I honestly can't think of a reason as to why that had to happen, I know that we would still be together and still love one another.

I think the main reason why I can't imagine having to drop every aspect of the dynamic is because it's not just about Him making me kneel and suck His dick because He's bored. It's not just the rough stuff. It's about different levels of control and my doing what He wants in whatever way I can. And there are so many different thinks that don't include sexual things or punishment. It's the little things that make up the dynamic, in my opinion.

When we first started this dynamic it was more about the sexual aspect for me. And believe me, that's still there. It's still a very large part of what I love about this dynamic. However, I have also come to appreciate the mental aspects as well.

I honestly believe that we wouldn't be as in tune with one another as we are now without the dynamic. The path that we are walking together has basically demanded so many different levels of connections between the two of us that it's almost impossible to not know all of the little quirks, looks, eye movement, tone of voice and be able to interpret them the best we can. It's how we can also maintain a level of our dynamic in public and around friends and family. It's the small stuff.