Case By Case

Sometimes, when you feel stressed you hear another person's problem(s) and you realize that you should be grateful that it isn't happening to you and maybe you should shut up about your problems for a while.

A little while ago the driver of my carpool had taken off of work at the last minute. Honestly, that's not like her at all. All she said was that it was family problems. That could mean a lot of things, honestly. But the next day she told me that her mother had found out that her husband (the carpool driver's step-father) was cheating on her. I said I was sorry to hear that and let it be. Well, today she brought it up again. Apparently her mother was actually able to confirm everything. Apparently her husband has had a girlfriend since October and she is just finding out about it now. She kicked him out and he went to live with his girlfriend and apparently called his soon to be ex-wife saying he wanted to work it out. But apparently she's having none of it and has already filed divorce papers.

While she was telling me all of this she said one of those old standbys for this type of situation. "Once a cheater, always a cheater."

Apparently her step-father has done this once before and her mom had taken him back.

In a way, I can see her point. My father cheated on my mother for a year before telling her he wanted out of the marriage. He then spent 10 years with that woman before cheating on her with his now current girlfriend. I honestly don't think my dad will change. If he doesn't spend the rest of his life with his current girlfriend (please Gods no) he'll more than likely cheat on her before letting her know he wants out. There is a pattern with my father and it doesn't seem to matter who he is with.

So with that little background out of the way, why do I say it's a case by case basis?

Because I cheated on my ex. Plain and simple. I know it was wrong. I know I should have gotten out of the relationship first, but honestly at the time I didn't really see a way out of it. I was 19 and I found out he had cheated on me several times. And me, being stupid, decided to just return the favor basically.

But, do I think that I'll cheat again? No. I cheated on my ex for stupid reasons, I know that. I didn't see a way out of the relationship because I didn't have a job and the prick was paying all the bills. Eventually it didn't matter and I kicked his ass out.

So... because I cheated on my ex does that mean I'm going to cheat on Master? Hell no, it does not. How can I know that for sure? I'm sure someone in the background is asking that. I know because I realized how fucking stupid and childish that was of me. And seeing my dad do it not once, but twice... for long intervals with two different women... well let's just say that in several ways I don't want to turn into my father.

Not to mention the fact that I love my Husband very, very much. He is my world. If something should happen to go sideways I would rather work on our relationship rather than throw it all to the wind and be a fucking moron about it. And if it isn't fixable, then it's better to end the relationship rather than do that.

I honestly believe that it should be on a case by case basis. I cheated on my ex. Not Master. I have never and will never cheat on my Husband. If either of us wants out, we know what divorce papers are. I do feel that within the same relationship, I would be wary. Extremely wary. But if it's something that the other person did in a past relationship, okay yeah.. you might have your guard up for a while but eventually you either trust that person or you don't. And if you don't, get the fuck out of dodge.

Master knew that I had cheated in my past relationship, but He trusted and still trusts me. I have never done anything to make Him not trust me.

I know that some people don't care and won't take it on a case by case basis, and I understand that. I'm just speaking from my own experience. If there is a pattern, yeah.. watch out. But if there isn't and it wasn't that your significant other cheating on you... well then you might want to take other things into consideration.