Before I Crack

The work flow is slowly but surely tapering off. Or at least so it seems. I might say that now and then tomorrow walk in to a disaster. Who knows. But even when it did get a bit hectic today I took time to just breathe a little bit before going onto the next task. I can't keep pushing myself like that. I'm a hard worker and I prefer to stay on top of my work flow/case load whatever you want to call it. I hate when I get behind. But it's one of those things that I have to accept. I can't be 100% caught up all the time. On a normal work day? Fine. But since it's been one thing after another after another for about a month now it's wearing me down and wearing me the fuck out. I have little to no energy by the time I get home. My mind is mush. I feel scattered and I feel burnt out. The light is on but nobody is home. And that's not fair to Master and it's not fair to me. I shouldn't have to put every ounce of energy into my job as often as I'm having to lately. I want to be able to enjoy my time at home.

So like I said, today I took a breath every now and then and it seems to be helping. I'm not fully caught up, even though I was when I left Friday, but I did pretty damn well with what I had to do.

I don't feel completely drained. I don't feel like I just don't want to move at all. My blog doesn't sound like a chore. I'm not totally fresh or anything but I don't feel like I'm going to fall over either.

Hopefully I can keep that up without getting too far behind at work. I didn't cut my lunch really short. I took about 20 minutes rather than the 5 to 10 minutes I had been taking.

I'm sure my shrink will want to hear everything when I see him in two weeks. That mood tracker thing is helping, I think. Plus I can review it the day of my appointment to refresh my memory. I know that Master checks it every now and then. I still give Him my morning messages of how my mood is before I leave for work in the morning, but I think it's a good thing that He can check that little online tool in addition to that.