I Made The List

I recently received an e-mail from a fellow blogger, Kira. She let me know about something that I had absolutely no clue about. It was surprising to say the least. I made the Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2012 list! This is a list that is posted on Between My Sheets.

I was so pleased and shocked to be honest with you! I am truly honored to have made it onto the list. I'm number 55! I made sure to nab the little badge as I am proud of it, even if I didn't know about it! The website says that I may create my own badge so I took the liberty of creating my own graphic, but I left every other piece of coding the same!

I'm not sure how my blog got nominated or how they are judged but it's so nice to know that someone noticed my blog and finds it that enjoyable!

If you enjoy my blog I want to thank you for reading my words and thoughts here. If you nominated me, thank you very much for feeling that I deserved it!

I know it's not all sex, sex, sex but I am glad that regardless of the boring posts every now and then that you stifle the yawning long enough to get to a post you do like. *winks*

So again, thank you Kira for letting me know about this! And thank you to all of my readers!

Down Time

We were supposed to go to my dad's and then BC's place tonight. We were going to visit with my dad just to visit and then afterward we were going to swing by BC's place to pick up some venison steaks that he offered to Master. I will not be eating them. I don't know why but the thought of eating a deer does not appeal to me. But when we called BC to see what time would be okay to stop by it ended up being quite a bit later than we originally thought and we wanted to be home by then.

I was the one that called BC after Master told me to and so I was acting as an in-between on that. So BC would tell me something and I'd run it past Master and then back to BC. Have I mentioned that Master hates talking on the phone?

So eventually it was decided that BC will be dropping them off on Sunday. I don't know if he plans on hanging out or not. It's not like I wouldn't like to see him but I was looking forward to two days with just Master and I. For the past month we have been running around and doing everything with everyone basically. Not a lot of down time on the weekends for just the two of us. It's not that I don't enjoy the time with one another it's just that knowing I had a four day weekend this week and that Thursday and Friday would be with family I thought that Master and I would have Saturday and Sunday completely to ourselves.

Oh well. Like I said I don't even know if BC is staying for a visit or if he's dropping off and running. Either way though. Although knowing BC he'll probably sit for a bit. I don't really remember a time he's just dropped something off and ran out right away. He'll normally stay for about a half hour or so, sometimes longer.

But we don't have any plans next weekend that I know of, so maybe that'll be two days straight with no physical contact with anyone else. The phone is one thing ya know?

Territory

Today was a very odd day. It wasn't really odd until we got to His mother's house but I'll get to that in a minute.

Master and I relaxed until we had to leave a little before 2pm. We then headed down to my mother's. We mainly just sat around and talked about various things. It was relaxed and my mother had to get up and check on her turkey once or twice. But other than that it was just sitting in the living room and talking. Nice, relaxed, and simple.

We were there four about 2 1/2 hours before we had to head out to my mother-in-law's house. This is where it got odd. Her husband has always been really excited when we walk in the door. Hugs and hi how are ya type thing. Well this time, yeah... not so much. His son and his son's wife were down and I understand he doesn't get to see them much but we were pretty much ignored by him the entire time we were there. That made it a little uncomfortable. We ate and talked but there was one thing that both Master and I noticed that made the evening even more uncomfortable.

His son's wife was checking out my Husband every chance she thought she could get away with it. She would be staring at Him and then shoot me dirty looks. When she noticed that Master looked in her direction she would quickly turn her head in hopes that He didn't notice that she had been staring. All this was going on with her husband sitting right there, completely oblivious to it.

Now, normally I am an extremely territorial person. I fully admit this and I know a lot of people don't think it's a very slave like thing to do. But ya know what? I don't give a fuck. He's mine. Master knows I think this way and fully encourages it. He has gone so far as to say that He is mine just as much as I am His. He's the boss, but He's still my "property" if you will. He's my territory. End of story.

But since we were at His mother's house and this is His mother's husband's son's wife (follow me on that one?) I wasn't really sure how to react without causing a bunch of shit to go down and making the night even more uncomforable. As I said Master noticed her doing all of this too and as a result ignored her unless He absolutely had to acknowledge her presence.

But see, that's part of the problem. When we sat down to eat dinner Master and I sat at the dining room table which is butted up right next to the living room. My mother-in-law and her husband were in their own recliners. The son was on the couch. So what does this bitch do? She purposely moves to go behind Master's chair so that He has a reason to look at her and get out of her way. She inches past Him and sits right next to Him. She even moved her chair closer to Him. She threw dagger eyes in my direction. Master turned His back to her and talked to me and His mom the entire time.

Her husband didn't say a damn thing. He just sat there eating and watching TV.

After dinner she didn't go around the table, yet again, and instead asked Master to move so she could move past Him. Eventually she sat next to her husband on the couch but continued to stare at Master and laugh at everything He said and then roll her eyes if He talked about me at all.

They decided they wanted to go Black Friday shopping early since some of the stores were doing it tonight in the hopes that the crowds wouldn't be so bad tomorrow. They left before we did and so when they said goodbye the son said goodbye to both of us. What does this snotty little bitch do? Turns to Master and says, "It was really nice seeing you. I hope to see you again soon. Happy Thanksgiving!" and doesn't say a damn thing to me and doesn't even acknowledge my presence.

I fully admit that it took a lot of will power to sit there while all of this was going on instead of having my normal reaction of calling the bitch out on it. But, as I said, we are at His mother's house and I knew that if I reacted she would be the innocent victim and I would look like a crazy bitch who was just out to get her for no reason what so ever. She's a drama queen and a half and has her husband and her husband's father wrapped around her finger. Master also had no idea how to react. So, we just let it be.

After they left His mother and the two of us sat and talked for a little while and had dessert. Ya see, her husband had gone with them and she was horrified at the fact that they had left because she felt it was incredibly rude. She didn't even know they were going to be doing this until right before dinner. She told us that if she had known she would have planned things differently.

We stayed for about another half hour and then eventually headed home. We talked about everything on the ride home and we both vented about that little twat waffle.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. *shrugs* With my family, after my grandmother passed away, it became more of a everyone get together and visit type of thing. It wasn't really a celebration of anything. There are no formalities to it anymore. When my grandmother was alive she would get the whole group together, including relatives out of state. It was a big deal back then. But most of those people have passed on. My grandmother, two of my great aunts, one of my uncles, a few of my cousins and my Oma and Opa. Everyone else was from out of state and once my grandmother passed away no one came anymore. And now that my parents are divorced and my grandfather has pretty much given up entirely on holidays as he says he's getting too old there is no tradition anymore. So as I said, it's more of a visit type thing.

Master's family doesn't make a big deal out of it either. In fact aside from this year His mother has never invited us over for it. But this year is different. Her husband's son and his son's wife are coming down from Minnesota and so magically she invited us.

Master is not a fan of holidays. Never has been, never will be. But He puts up with it in regards to my family. Thankfully He likes His in-laws. But His mother? Yeah. Not so much. Not to mention neither of us can stand her husband's son and his son's wife.

So tomorrow we are going to visit my mother for a while and then go over to His mother's. My mom's should be easy. Just talk and hang out for a while. Who the hell knows how it'll go at His mother's. One thing I do know is that we're going to end up pissing her off at some point.

Why? Well, we have been getting along really, really well with His father's side of the family. And she has a lot of venom for Master's father. A lot. Master has been talking to His father and that side of the family for a few years now and it's only gotten better. But every time you bring that up to His mom she gets pissy really fast.

With how things are going now with His father's side of the family, we are getting to be a lot closer to them and it's wonderful. So, we plan on rubbing that in her face a bit. Okay, maybe more than a bit. But they are genuine in wanting to see us. When His mother invites us over it's so we can help her with something or her husband suggests it. *shrugs* Hopefully we won't be there too long and we can come home and relax.

It's kind of weird knowing that I don't have to go to work tomorrow though. 

Butt Slut

Yesterday I had been thinking about anal. We had literally just had anal sex last week. But now that I am enjoying it more and more it has been on my mind more frequently. So I was messaging with Master and I asked Him how often He "expects" anal sex. He seemed kind of confused by the question at first. He said that we use to do it about once a month back when we were doing it regularly, before everything pretty much stopped due to my mental blocks.

He asked me if I was in the mood for it and if that was why I was asking. My only response was, "Kind of." I am still trying to make sure that no "pressure" on the subject builds up in my mind even though I know Master is not pressuring me about it at all.

So He told me basically whenever my body is up for it and the mood strikes me, for now. He does want to get me to a place where He'll just be able to tell me it's going to happen and then it does. He doesn't want to do it too frequently though. As in not every day or anything along those lines.

So He told me to just let Him know.

When I got home from work apparently that conversation had continued to swim through His brain just as it had mine because He was grabbing my ass and slapping it every chance He could. That made me giggle and smile at Him.

Eventually we headed off to the bedroom after the animals were all taken care of. He ate me out for a little while and then fucked me until I came a few times. After about the second orgasm I asked Him if He wanted to try and fuck me in the ass. Well, that was a stupid question wasn't it? Yes, yes it was.

He asked me if the lube was still on the headboard. It was. So I simply went over to the dresser, grabbed my favorite vibrator and turned on the lamp. I got back onto all fours and as Master was putting lube on His cock and spreading some on me as well I took a few pump fulls of lube myself (it's a hand pump bottle) and slicked my hand with it.

As He started to slide His thick cock into my ass I reached back with my slicked up hand and rubbed the lube along the underside of His dick as well as on my taint. I did make a few "owie" type noises. It sounds more like a quick intake of breath. Master stopped moving. I didn't say a damn thing. I just kept spreading the lube around for a little while. Since I didn't say anything Master eventually started moving forward again. At that point I was starting to relax a little bit so I grabbed my vibrator and put it on my clit. I was bowed down with my ass in the air when I got off the first time. Master praised me as the orgasm rolled through my body.

I dropped the vibrator and just enjoyed. I still do have to focus in order to make sure I stay relaxed but I'm getting better at it! And the concentration isn't keeping me from enjoying anything. I got off several times.

At one point Master had me kneel up. He was kneeling behind me and He grabbed my neck and forced me to kneel in front of Him with His cock still buried in my ass and bounced me off of it like that. It was overwhelming and amazing and just wow! He told me as I got off that eventually He'll have me riding His cock like that. I'd sure in the hell like to work up to that! Not only am I sure that eventually that will feel really good, but that it'll also feel like some kind of accomplishment on my part. Also? I know Master is going to be very, very pleased with me. I'm a good girl addict, what can I say.

I did end up begging for His cum at length. As He slammed balls deep into me He said, "Well, you have been good.."

How hot is that?! Very!

Again He was extremely pleased and proud of me. After we were both cleaned up and were in the living room Master commented on how docile I get during and after anal sex. He's right. I go into an entirely different sub space afterward.

Later on right before I had to go to bed Master made use of my pussy. So I got two of my three holes coated in cum last night.

He was so happy with me and I was happy as a result and am so glad that I'm starting to enjoy anal sex so much! It took me a long time but I got past my mental blocks. I know that this doesn't guarantee that every time we try it will be successful. I know there will still be days where my body just isn't going to allow it to happen. And I understand this. So I'll just enjoy it when it is possible and not worry about it when it's not. I won't worry because I know that eventually my body will allow it and I'll be able to has His thick cock balls deep in my ass once again soon.

Crazy Slave Is Crazy

Today I hit a little low point. My self esteem suddenly took a strong nose dive. It was nothing anyone said or did. It just happened out of no where. This use to happen quite often but this is the first time it's happened in a very, very long time.

I was at work but Master and I were messaging back and forth when it happened. So I told Him about it and asked Him some questions. He walked me through it and I was okay after about 15 minutes or so. I know that doesn't sound like a long time or that it was a big deal but trust me, at the time it felt like a big deal.

You know what helped the most? Master telling me basically that it's up to Him whether or not I'm "good enough" or that I'm a good wife or a good slave. It's His measuring stick we're going by not mine. That knocked me out of it. That's what made me snap back.

See, I told you this dynamic helps with my bipolar disorder.

I don't know what caused it. I really don't. And I think that's the most frustrating part of it. I don't know why. But what is most important is that I'm snapping out of it almost as quickly as it hits me as long as I am able to talk to Master about it. I feel that it would have taken longer had I been made to wait until I got home to talk to Him about it. But it's also not something that I can really talk about over the phone at work either. So I'm glad that Master and I were messaging back and forth at the time.

So when I got home my mood was just fine. Master has been giving me a little more affection and what not. He always does when I have a sudden turn like that. He does it to help reassure me and to comfort me. But He also tightens the grip. It's the structure that I need along with the affection. It's a hell of a balancing act at time but Master knows how to handle it and how to handle me.

I'm so grateful that I have Him and that I am His and His alone. I was lucky enough to have found Him when I was so young, to have Him stand by my side before my diagnosis when my symptoms were at their worst and to still have Him now, almost 10 years later.

Mellow

My brother came up for the weekend. I left work a couple of hours early to go pick him up. When we got back home we pretty much just relaxed the entire night. Honestly we didn't do a lot at all.

We ran a couple of errands Friday night and then on Saturday we went out to lunch with my father-in-law and my brother-in-law. It was the first time that side of Master's family has met a member of my family and it went really well. My brother-in-law had brought his 1 year old son as well. I had to steal him for a little while to goof around with him a little bit. He is the most mellow and happy baby I have ever met in my life. We were at lunch for about two hours.

We all said goodbye and my brother had a good time and was happy that he could meet some of Master's family.

We played a card game and watched movies. My brother and I were ready to pass out rather early for some reason. Well, my brother hadn't been sleeping well and I've been stressed out and spread thin for a while now.

When my brother spends the night he sleeps on our couch. So Master came into the bedroom with me and just read until He was ready to fall asleep as well. Today I took him back home around 1pm. After I dropped him off my mother and I ran a few errands. When I finally got back home I felt spacey. I still do honestly. I'm not tired exactly but I am just mellow as hell and feel lazy.

Master used me and that just made me feel even more mellow and relaxed. Like I said I feel rather lazy and it's not even 6:30pm. I'm glad that I only have to get through 3 word days. On Thursday we'll be visiting my mom and then His mother. After that I get three days of nothing but spending time with Master. I'm looking forward to it.

Don't get me wrong I really enjoyed having my brother up for the weekend but I'm glad that I don't have to do anything at all past Thursday.