At Least I Tried

Last night I dressed up for Master and we ended up finishing one of the recent porno movies we had bought a while back. After that Master and I went to the bedroom. He nipped my neck and got me even more geared up by sucking and licking my nipples. That drives me absolutely crazy (in a good way).

He then moved down my body and ate me out. He started off fingering my pussy but then slowly but surely started to finger my ass. The orgasm I had was insane. It was like my entire body burst into sensation all at once.

He knelt up and had me suck His cock. My oral fixation was in over drive and for the first time in quite some time my jaw wasn't bothering so I made the most of it. He didn't want to finish in my mouth though, He wanted to fuck me. But He allowed me to keep going after pulling my head back once. I whimpered and He chuckled and let me continue to orally worship His dick. It was delicious.

Finally He did end up pulling my head back and tossing me down. I was still very sore and swollen from our sexual escapades over the past week or so. It hurt so damn good.

He allowed me a few more orgasms before I asked if He wanted to try anal. I always put that word try in there because I have no fucking idea what my body is going to do. But I had that amazing orgasm while He was eating me out and fingering my ass that I really, really did want to have anal sex. I really did... no really. (Okay, I'll stop now.)

He turned on the light and grabbed the lube. He lubed Himself up first and then me. He very slowly pushed in and at first I thought it was going to be okay. Then all of a sudden a shot of pain. Mother. Fucker. He pulled back out. I honestly don't think He even got past the head of His cock. I think He thought that would be the end of it. But I still wanted to try. So I grabbed the lube bottle and put some on my hand. I was on all fours anyway so I just reached underneath me and put more lube there.

He tried again. It hurt again. But I didn't want to stop. However, it didn't take long before I knew I wasn't going to be able to handle it. Again I don't think He got past the head of His cock. Edit: Apparently I was mistaken. Master read this post and said that the second time He was actually balls deep. And He was still so understanding. I love that man of mine.

He stopped and said it was okay, that He would just go wash up and we'd finish with regular sex. I was upset. I knew He wasn't. I think He was pleased just by the fact that I had honestly wanted to try and hadn't given up immediately and the fact that I had brought it up at all.

After He had washed up He continued to fuck me but then grabbed my small little anal toy and inserted that. Obviously it's a lot smaller than Master's thick cock. It was uncomfortable at first but as He continued to pump in and out of me it didn't hurt anymore. But again, it was small. I know that if we had continued to try for Him to fuck me in the ass it would have hurt like hell and not in a good way.

After He came He rolled off me and slowly pulled the toy out. Almost immediately after I collapsed onto the bed and started crying. I was overwhelmed and a little upset with my body. I sub crashed basically. He covered me with His arm and gently petted the back of my neck. He knows when I need some after care. And just being held close by Him and Him petting me like that is enough for me. In fact it's perfect for me.

I apologized to Him about not being able to go through with the anal sex. I kind of felt like a tease ya know? But He didn't see it that way at all. It's a lot of progress for me to even bring it up. He was pleased. He wasn't mad or upset.

I stopped crying and cleaned myself up as well as the toy. After that I came out into the living room long enough to get a hug and kiss from Master before I went to bed and drifted off.

I told Him today though that I want to try again soon. I will do this damn it!