Spread Out

The past four days I have felt really spread out. I don't feel all here and haven't since Thursday night. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing. Master commented on it though. He says even on the really rough days I feel all here and centered. I think that has to do with the fact that I've had to be that way just to get through the work day and I have a hard time letting that go once I get home. But the past four days I've just been mellow as hell and sleeping a lot. I'm not on a downward spiral or anything. I'm just catching my breath. I think this is my way of recharging myself right now.

It does suck that I've been sleeping so much though. Don't get me wrong Master and I have had a lot of time together. But because I've been so spread out and tired we haven't had sex really. He used me once by waking me up before He went to sleep and that's it. Like I said I've just felt really spacey and then when I crash I crash hard.

Today Master's back isn't the greatest but maybe in a little while we can correct the fact that we've only had sex once in four days.

Then again we haven't been having a lot of sex in general because I've been so wiped out and sore due to work. This isn't like us at all. Normally we have sex quite often. So this month or so with not a lot of sex going on is really, really odd. Thankfully it isn't affecting us outside of the bedroom. Neither are of us are blaming it on the other. We both know why. It's because my job is kicking my ass and I've been spread so thin for so long that my body isn't catching up very well at all.

I know for sure that tomorrow is going to suck. Hell it's probably going to really suck for quite some time yet. But I need to find a way of allowing myself to relax enough so I don't feel the need to just crash and burn every night and miss out on things I enjoy doing with Master, such as fucking.

I know He's not mad at me and I know He understands, so at least that much.