This is going to be some what of a rant. I'm trying not to be pissed off but it's kind of hard right now. So if anything I put on here doesn't seem rational, oh well.
I think I've blogged about Master having a very part time job that was freelance. It's not the greatest thing in the world but at least it was helping out here and there as far as finances went.
Well He got this freelance job through His best friend's girlfriend (soon to be fiance).
Money is tight right now and so He e-mailed her asking if there was going to be any work for this week. He does that every now and then just so it's not last minute. Because what she loves to do is wait until the day before and then go, "Oh yeah I forgot we need this done and it has to be done by the end of the day tomorrow."
Well she e-mailed Him back saying that no there isn't any work this week. Then she basically said, "Oh yeah and I also forgot to let you know that my boss is looking into hiring a company to do the job that you're currently doing."
You know, cause that's just something that slips your fucking mind. From the wording in her first e-mail this is not new information to her. After Master got a little aggravated in His response she totally changed her tune and said that she only found out about it this past week. Even still, you think you maybe wanna tell the person currently doing the freelance work that. And then she says, and I quote, "I thought it was clear that this was a contract position."
Um. I'm sorry. But a contract position would mean that there would be a contract involved. Freelance position is just what it says. Freelance. And while I realize this, it is a mom and pop shop that has a total of four actual employees. Master is the only freelance worker that they have, so now you're up to five. So news travels really fast, except for where Master is concerned. Apparently.
So Master is doubling His job search, and I'm helping Him out when I can.
So yeah. Thanks for the additional stress for this weekend. This weekend has pretty much sucked. Yesterday we were stressed about money and what not and got on each others nerves. Today was better. We joked around a bit, and I cleaned the kitchen, and we'd calmed down from yesterday. And then this was thrown into the mix. Yeah. That did not improve our mood. Although today neither of us is taking it out on the other, so at least that's an improvement over yesterday.
My journey through life, love, submission, & pain. Mature & graphic content.
February 13, 2011
February 12, 2011
Restless
Master is restless today. There is stress of course. We're broke at the moment. As in really fucking broke. My paycheck doesn't hit until Friday and that's when we have to pay bills. We haven't been this broke in a while. We've at least at some cash to play with even if it isn't very much for a few months now.
It's hard to go from having a little wiggle room to having none.
He just got done telling me He's bored. He doesn't want to read, doesn't want to watch anything, doesn't want to play video games, and there is basically nothing going on online.
I understand that. But I can't do anything about it. When there isn't anything He wants to do, any suggestions I may or may not have become useless. It just sucks because I am trying to remain calm, and not freak out about money. I'm trying to enjoy the weekend with my Husband. But the stress keeps seeping in and ruining that. So when He's restless I take that as Him being cranky because of His movements and His lack of interest in anything. Then when I say that He actually gets cranky because I said it. It's just a bad cycle.
Maybe as the night goes on we'll start having a better time.
It's hard to go from having a little wiggle room to having none.
He just got done telling me He's bored. He doesn't want to read, doesn't want to watch anything, doesn't want to play video games, and there is basically nothing going on online.
I understand that. But I can't do anything about it. When there isn't anything He wants to do, any suggestions I may or may not have become useless. It just sucks because I am trying to remain calm, and not freak out about money. I'm trying to enjoy the weekend with my Husband. But the stress keeps seeping in and ruining that. So when He's restless I take that as Him being cranky because of His movements and His lack of interest in anything. Then when I say that He actually gets cranky because I said it. It's just a bad cycle.
Maybe as the night goes on we'll start having a better time.
February 11, 2011
*Sigh*
Every year around this time seems to be the same shit. As I'm sure most of you know Valentine's Day is on Monday. Master and I do not celebrate such. I remember one year it was around Valentine's Day and I went to Walgreens to pick up something we needed. And I saw this awesome teddy bear that had devil horns, a plush pitchfork, and a cape on. And I thought it was the coolest thing. So I bought it and gave it to Master. Master of course loved it because He thought the bear was pretty cool, and named it Devil Bear. Devil Bear now sits on our dresser in the bedroom. And we both still think he's cool.
But I didn't buy it for Him because Valentine's Day was close. I bought it for Him because I saw it and thought He would get a kick out of it. And I think that's how it should be. Aside from birthdays, Christmas, and an anniversary, I really don't see the point of picking one particular day to give someone you love a gift. And with us I really think the only reason we do Christmas is because we were both raised in Christian families.
So when something like Valentine's Day or Sweetest Day comes around I start to groan. Not because I think I have to get Master something, because I don't. But because now I get to hear everyone else talk about what they are getting their significant other or what they expect their significant other to get them.
Today at work one of the women I sit by got flowers and a balloon from her husband for Valentine's Day. It was nice and all, but she was saying how she better get something else besides that, cause she could "tell" that he didn't spend a lot of money on it. Such things do not make sense to me. So I stayed quiet. Next thing I know all the other women by me start talking about what their boyfriend or husband better get them, and how it better be better than the last year, and how if they don't get anything their man is in the dog house.. etc...etc...etc..
It reminds me of the year after my mother-in-law got a divorce. She didn't want the divorce and I understand that, but she had us come down and have dinner with her for Valentine's Day. No big deal. So we go down and she was upset, obviously. But it wasn't because of anything that would be logical. Oh no. She told us how she was so embarrassed at work when her friends started getting flowers and candies that she actually called up a florist and had flowers delivered to her at work. Yeah. She sent herself flowers so no one would think she was less important then they were. It was sad as hell.
I couldn't imagine sending myself a gift like that. That's crazy.
Most of the women at my job get flowers and balloons and what not. It doesn't bother me. And of course it leads to the, "Well what did your husband get you?"
Nothing. We don't celebrate it. I get a lot of weird looks about it. And then I tell them that even if He did get me something I wouldn't want flowers because they'll just die in a few days. I'd rather go out to dinner or get a stuffed animal from Him. Something that I can keep for a long time. Like the tigers Master got me, or the two teddy bears I have from Him. But again those we gifts for no reason or because it was my birthday or because it was our anniversary.
So yeah. The joys of Hallmark holidays.
But I didn't buy it for Him because Valentine's Day was close. I bought it for Him because I saw it and thought He would get a kick out of it. And I think that's how it should be. Aside from birthdays, Christmas, and an anniversary, I really don't see the point of picking one particular day to give someone you love a gift. And with us I really think the only reason we do Christmas is because we were both raised in Christian families.
So when something like Valentine's Day or Sweetest Day comes around I start to groan. Not because I think I have to get Master something, because I don't. But because now I get to hear everyone else talk about what they are getting their significant other or what they expect their significant other to get them.
Today at work one of the women I sit by got flowers and a balloon from her husband for Valentine's Day. It was nice and all, but she was saying how she better get something else besides that, cause she could "tell" that he didn't spend a lot of money on it. Such things do not make sense to me. So I stayed quiet. Next thing I know all the other women by me start talking about what their boyfriend or husband better get them, and how it better be better than the last year, and how if they don't get anything their man is in the dog house.. etc...etc...etc..
It reminds me of the year after my mother-in-law got a divorce. She didn't want the divorce and I understand that, but she had us come down and have dinner with her for Valentine's Day. No big deal. So we go down and she was upset, obviously. But it wasn't because of anything that would be logical. Oh no. She told us how she was so embarrassed at work when her friends started getting flowers and candies that she actually called up a florist and had flowers delivered to her at work. Yeah. She sent herself flowers so no one would think she was less important then they were. It was sad as hell.
I couldn't imagine sending myself a gift like that. That's crazy.
Most of the women at my job get flowers and balloons and what not. It doesn't bother me. And of course it leads to the, "Well what did your husband get you?"
Nothing. We don't celebrate it. I get a lot of weird looks about it. And then I tell them that even if He did get me something I wouldn't want flowers because they'll just die in a few days. I'd rather go out to dinner or get a stuffed animal from Him. Something that I can keep for a long time. Like the tigers Master got me, or the two teddy bears I have from Him. But again those we gifts for no reason or because it was my birthday or because it was our anniversary.
So yeah. The joys of Hallmark holidays.
February 10, 2011
Normal Day
I know I've mentioned this before, but Master has me write Him a note every day before I go to work so He knows how my mood is doing. So today, I'm sitting there about to write my note before I went to work and I tried to think of a way to describe where my mood was.
And the only word I could come with was normal. I wasn't up, I wasn't down, I wasn't hyper or depressed. I was just... normal. I guess stable would be another way to put it? And honestly it's a little weird to think of it that way. But even since being on my medications I've been rather up. Not really hyper, but just really positive. That's not a bad thing, just that's the effect it was having. But today I felt normal. So that's exactly what I wrote down.
When Master messaged me while I was at work He said this:
"So the meds finally stabilizing you so that your mood isn't just up or higher and just a normal mood? Hell that's great you haven't had a 'normal' day in years baby that is awesome."
And He's right. For years I've been one of the two extremes, and if not that far to the left or right I've always been leaning one way or the other. I haven't been right down the middle for a long, long time. So it pleased me to see that He not only noticed such, but was treating me feeling "normal" as something to celebrate. Like reaching a milestone I guess is a better way to put it.
On one hand it feels weird to me to thing that feeling normal is a milestone. It reminds me that without my medication I'm not that great at controlling my own feelings. I sway way too much on the mood range, and I need these pills in order to be stable.
I'm not embarrassed about it or anything, but it's still some what of a shock to me.
However, I'm glad that I can acknowledge such and have made my peace with it. I'm also glad that Master is proud of me for getting my shit together and admitting that I needed help. And I'm grateful that He loves me enough to have gone through as much of a whirlwind as we have to get to this point.
And the only word I could come with was normal. I wasn't up, I wasn't down, I wasn't hyper or depressed. I was just... normal. I guess stable would be another way to put it? And honestly it's a little weird to think of it that way. But even since being on my medications I've been rather up. Not really hyper, but just really positive. That's not a bad thing, just that's the effect it was having. But today I felt normal. So that's exactly what I wrote down.
When Master messaged me while I was at work He said this:
"So the meds finally stabilizing you so that your mood isn't just up or higher and just a normal mood? Hell that's great you haven't had a 'normal' day in years baby that is awesome."
And He's right. For years I've been one of the two extremes, and if not that far to the left or right I've always been leaning one way or the other. I haven't been right down the middle for a long, long time. So it pleased me to see that He not only noticed such, but was treating me feeling "normal" as something to celebrate. Like reaching a milestone I guess is a better way to put it.
On one hand it feels weird to me to thing that feeling normal is a milestone. It reminds me that without my medication I'm not that great at controlling my own feelings. I sway way too much on the mood range, and I need these pills in order to be stable.
I'm not embarrassed about it or anything, but it's still some what of a shock to me.
However, I'm glad that I can acknowledge such and have made my peace with it. I'm also glad that Master is proud of me for getting my shit together and admitting that I needed help. And I'm grateful that He loves me enough to have gone through as much of a whirlwind as we have to get to this point.
February 9, 2011
I Am A Duck
I was having a rough day today. Not because of work or anything. It was due to finances, the fact that I am currently 7 hours short on my paycheck and don't have enough work to justify over time for the weekend, and some of my family members bitching about how bad off they are and saying they don't understand how we're struggling because I work full time and have a good hourly pay, etc. Master gets work every now and then from the freelance job He's doing, so that does help, but until we both have steady paychecks coming in we're going to stay about where we are. And that means that there will be times where finances are extremely tight.
So for the first time since starting my medication I felt that familiar type of irritability/borderline aggression creeping in. It was not full force and it was not a sudden snap either. It was a very gradual thing. And I was doing my best to keep it at bay, to calm myself down and center myself. It was working, but I was still irritated and it was a slow process.
I'm the only one in my immediate family that has a full time job and is not on state assistance. The people in my immediate family who do work are part time. And every one of them is on state aid. I'm not saying state assistance is a bad thing, because it's not. It's just a point I'm making. Sometimes they forget that I'm not on state assistance. I don't get food stamps, so I actually have to use my paycheck for that. That takes a good chunk out right there. We're feeding Master and myself, a dog, and three rabbits.
Like I said sometimes I think they forget that. I have rent, food, gas in the car, electric, cell phone, land line, internet, things for the animals, the normal necessities and cigarettes for two people. The only thing I could really cut out is the cigarettes. I know, I don't need the internet or the cell phone. But the internet, aside from the video games we already own, is our only form of entertainment. We don't have cable or satellite. As far as my cell phone goes its a whopping $30 a month and I like having it in case something happens. I'm some what paranoid.
So whine, whine, whine right? When Master got in touch with me I fully admitted that I was irritated and told Him why. That, by the way, is a hell of an improvement on my part. I use to just say I was fine, or I would tell Him I was irritated after Him asking me like 50 fucking times but wouldn't say why. He said He understood but He was doing His best to calm me down as well. Here is what He said...
"It's all water and your a duck hon let it roll off your back you know? Work will do what it will do no stopping that and other folks bitching about cash eh fuck em. Just chill baby don't let all the other shit get to you besides what good does it do anyways? And even at that not a lot to get worked up over love. It'll be okay hon always is :)"
(Yes, my Husband does smiley faces when He sends me a message. It's awesome.)
So, I am a duck. Cause my Husband said so. *giggles* I'm in a much better mood, especially after that pep talk He gave me. When I got home He had dinner ready and we watched some Reno 911 on Netflix. A little after dinner He worked on my shoulders. I am much more relaxed now.
So for the first time since starting my medication I felt that familiar type of irritability/borderline aggression creeping in. It was not full force and it was not a sudden snap either. It was a very gradual thing. And I was doing my best to keep it at bay, to calm myself down and center myself. It was working, but I was still irritated and it was a slow process.
I'm the only one in my immediate family that has a full time job and is not on state assistance. The people in my immediate family who do work are part time. And every one of them is on state aid. I'm not saying state assistance is a bad thing, because it's not. It's just a point I'm making. Sometimes they forget that I'm not on state assistance. I don't get food stamps, so I actually have to use my paycheck for that. That takes a good chunk out right there. We're feeding Master and myself, a dog, and three rabbits.
Like I said sometimes I think they forget that. I have rent, food, gas in the car, electric, cell phone, land line, internet, things for the animals, the normal necessities and cigarettes for two people. The only thing I could really cut out is the cigarettes. I know, I don't need the internet or the cell phone. But the internet, aside from the video games we already own, is our only form of entertainment. We don't have cable or satellite. As far as my cell phone goes its a whopping $30 a month and I like having it in case something happens. I'm some what paranoid.
So whine, whine, whine right? When Master got in touch with me I fully admitted that I was irritated and told Him why. That, by the way, is a hell of an improvement on my part. I use to just say I was fine, or I would tell Him I was irritated after Him asking me like 50 fucking times but wouldn't say why. He said He understood but He was doing His best to calm me down as well. Here is what He said...
"It's all water and your a duck hon let it roll off your back you know? Work will do what it will do no stopping that and other folks bitching about cash eh fuck em. Just chill baby don't let all the other shit get to you besides what good does it do anyways? And even at that not a lot to get worked up over love. It'll be okay hon always is :)"
(Yes, my Husband does smiley faces when He sends me a message. It's awesome.)
So, I am a duck. Cause my Husband said so. *giggles* I'm in a much better mood, especially after that pep talk He gave me. When I got home He had dinner ready and we watched some Reno 911 on Netflix. A little after dinner He worked on my shoulders. I am much more relaxed now.
February 8, 2011
Dragging
I don't know why but this week seems to be dragging. The weekend went by very quickly, and now it's only Tuesday. Master has been helping me relax when I get home from work. He's been joking around with me and allowing me to kneel at His feet while I tell Him about my day or while we're talking about whatever comes up.
While I was at work today I started thinking about how sometimes I wish I could be a stay at home slave. But the problem with that fantasy is I would want Him to be able to be home too. So it would be no worries, everything is fine, and all we have to do is whatever He wants us to do. So it's not just a really out there fantasy, it's impossible. We'd need some source of income, obviously.
I think if I was a stay at home slave and He went off to work for 8 or more hours a day I'd get bored, lonely, and restless. I know I'd have more housework to do and what not, but still. I probably wouldn't really know what to with myself. I can entertain myself but without Master with me it's not the same. Nothing really is.
And I enjoy contributing to the household financially. I just think maybe I need an extended break. I have a four day weekend coming up the week of our anniversary. So about 6 weeks away. That's been on my mind a lot lately, and while it's not an extremely long break it's better than nothing.
It's going to be two extra days with my Master, doing what we want and being able to submit to Him for four whole days without having to worry about getting up early the next morning or bedtimes. Well okay, Sunday night yes, but normally Master allows me to stay up a bit later on Sundays.
On the ride home in my carpool we were all talking about our significant others. And it was some what amusing to me. Each of them (one female, one male) thought they ran things in their household, but then would say something immediately after that that clearly stated that they weren't. Their comments went back and forth, and it sounds like they are each in a power struggle with their signifiacant other.
I remember what that was like. It was so exhausting. I'm glad that I know exactly what the power dynamic is in our relationship. It makes things easier. At least it does when I'm not fighting it. And I haven't been for a while now.
While I was at work today I started thinking about how sometimes I wish I could be a stay at home slave. But the problem with that fantasy is I would want Him to be able to be home too. So it would be no worries, everything is fine, and all we have to do is whatever He wants us to do. So it's not just a really out there fantasy, it's impossible. We'd need some source of income, obviously.
I think if I was a stay at home slave and He went off to work for 8 or more hours a day I'd get bored, lonely, and restless. I know I'd have more housework to do and what not, but still. I probably wouldn't really know what to with myself. I can entertain myself but without Master with me it's not the same. Nothing really is.
And I enjoy contributing to the household financially. I just think maybe I need an extended break. I have a four day weekend coming up the week of our anniversary. So about 6 weeks away. That's been on my mind a lot lately, and while it's not an extremely long break it's better than nothing.
It's going to be two extra days with my Master, doing what we want and being able to submit to Him for four whole days without having to worry about getting up early the next morning or bedtimes. Well okay, Sunday night yes, but normally Master allows me to stay up a bit later on Sundays.
On the ride home in my carpool we were all talking about our significant others. And it was some what amusing to me. Each of them (one female, one male) thought they ran things in their household, but then would say something immediately after that that clearly stated that they weren't. Their comments went back and forth, and it sounds like they are each in a power struggle with their signifiacant other.
I remember what that was like. It was so exhausting. I'm glad that I know exactly what the power dynamic is in our relationship. It makes things easier. At least it does when I'm not fighting it. And I haven't been for a while now.
February 7, 2011
Hubby Makes It All Better
I had quite the stressful day at work today. As some of you may remember, when I get up in the morning before I go to work I have to leave a note for Master telling Him where my mood is at. Even though I am on medication now and have been for a little while now, Master still wants me to do this and I find it comforting. So before I left for work I said that I was in a good mood. How could I not be? I was used and abused last night.
But shortly after I got to work some drama started with my coworkers. Long story short it had to do, in part, with me. When I had to go to the emergency room not that long ago I had to call in that following Monday, and such made me go over my allotted personal time. Everyone who sat by me knew this because they overheard me saying something to my trainer about having to make the time up. So they all apparently assumed that I had been disciplined in some way for going over, whether it be verbal, written, what have you.. I wasn't because I have a great attendance record and I had a note from the emergency room doctor and so they let it slide this time. It was a one off. I hadn't told anyone about it at work because that was between me, my supervisor, and HR.
So anyway, I get to work today and one of the girls who sit next to me asks how my neck was feeling. I told her it was better. So then she has the balls to ask me, out of nowhere, if that had been my first write up. I was shocked honestly that she even asked me. And without thinking I said I didn't get written up. She quirked her eyebrow at me and then sat down.
So then another girl who sits by me comes in. Late. Again. Not just a little late. A half hour late. She does this constantly. So I'm sitting at my desk doing my job and the girl who was asking 20 questions when I got to work stood up and talked to the constantly late chick telling her that I didn't get written up. The constantly late chick got pissed. Not just a little pissed. But down right livid. She was saying how that's bullshit and it's not fair. Just because I had to go to the emergency room (That part wasn't a secret really cause people were asking why I was absent. Like I said I have really good attendance.) doesn't mean I should get special treatment. Apparently she had been written up not that long ago because she had called in and had already gone over her personal time by 30 hours. After that last call in she was now 38 hours over her personal time. I had gone over by 8 hours.
So yeah, I'm sorry an ER trip equaling a total of 8 hours of personal time over and only two months before it renews versus being 38 hours over and not having it renewed until August... lets see here.. big fucking difference. So this whole conversation is going on, loudly, and they are acting like I can't hear a fucking word they are saying. Now you can talk shit all you want, but don't act like I'm not there. That shit pisses me off. I told them it was none of their business and told them to stop acting like I can't hear them because it's extremely rude. That bitch was lucky this happened at work. I was polite.
So anyway, this irritated the hell out of me. So I sent Master an update and explained why. I then asked Him if He thought I was acting rationally. It's... odd to have to ask that. But I don't always have the best judgment of such things. I may think I'm acting rationally when I am actually going off about nothing at all. But He assured me that I was acting rationally and that He would have been upset as well.
I calmed down rather quickly and have decided that I'm just not going to talk about anything not directly work related with those two particular people. As in if I have to call in I'm not going to tell them why. I'm not going to discuss personal things of any kind with them. Normally I don't. I keep to myself at work. But in general conversation sometimes things come up and the only reason I'm talking to anyone is because we're all extremely bored and it kills time. But if they are going to be a bunch of drama queens about apples and oranges, then fuck em. Or rather, don't.
But enough about them.
I got home and Master had dinner ready. We ate dinner, watched Saturday Night Live on Netflix and joked around a lot. Before I knew it I was relaxing, comfortable, and in a great mood. He was making sure I was laughing and smiling and having a good time. He was doing His best to help me have a good evening. And it's working. He's still being strict and not letting me slack, but He's making sure I'm enjoying myself and winding down.
On top of the drama at work I also had a busy work day. I worked 9 hours not including my lunch break and will be attempting to do that all week so I can make up some of the hours I lost from the snow day last week. And He also knows I'm stressing about that because I can't really afford to have that time off my paycheck but I don't really want to work on Saturday so we don't have to spend more money on gas in the car. So I'm doing everything I can to make up as much of it up as I can during this week. I'm not flipping out like I use to before my happy pills, but still it's stressful.
He's a great Husband and just being home with Him helps me relax. But that extra effort He puts in is always appreciated and noticed. I hope He knows that. If He doesn't, He does now. *smiles* Thankfully He still reads my blog everyday.
But shortly after I got to work some drama started with my coworkers. Long story short it had to do, in part, with me. When I had to go to the emergency room not that long ago I had to call in that following Monday, and such made me go over my allotted personal time. Everyone who sat by me knew this because they overheard me saying something to my trainer about having to make the time up. So they all apparently assumed that I had been disciplined in some way for going over, whether it be verbal, written, what have you.. I wasn't because I have a great attendance record and I had a note from the emergency room doctor and so they let it slide this time. It was a one off. I hadn't told anyone about it at work because that was between me, my supervisor, and HR.
So anyway, I get to work today and one of the girls who sit next to me asks how my neck was feeling. I told her it was better. So then she has the balls to ask me, out of nowhere, if that had been my first write up. I was shocked honestly that she even asked me. And without thinking I said I didn't get written up. She quirked her eyebrow at me and then sat down.
So then another girl who sits by me comes in. Late. Again. Not just a little late. A half hour late. She does this constantly. So I'm sitting at my desk doing my job and the girl who was asking 20 questions when I got to work stood up and talked to the constantly late chick telling her that I didn't get written up. The constantly late chick got pissed. Not just a little pissed. But down right livid. She was saying how that's bullshit and it's not fair. Just because I had to go to the emergency room (That part wasn't a secret really cause people were asking why I was absent. Like I said I have really good attendance.) doesn't mean I should get special treatment. Apparently she had been written up not that long ago because she had called in and had already gone over her personal time by 30 hours. After that last call in she was now 38 hours over her personal time. I had gone over by 8 hours.
So yeah, I'm sorry an ER trip equaling a total of 8 hours of personal time over and only two months before it renews versus being 38 hours over and not having it renewed until August... lets see here.. big fucking difference. So this whole conversation is going on, loudly, and they are acting like I can't hear a fucking word they are saying. Now you can talk shit all you want, but don't act like I'm not there. That shit pisses me off. I told them it was none of their business and told them to stop acting like I can't hear them because it's extremely rude. That bitch was lucky this happened at work. I was polite.
So anyway, this irritated the hell out of me. So I sent Master an update and explained why. I then asked Him if He thought I was acting rationally. It's... odd to have to ask that. But I don't always have the best judgment of such things. I may think I'm acting rationally when I am actually going off about nothing at all. But He assured me that I was acting rationally and that He would have been upset as well.
I calmed down rather quickly and have decided that I'm just not going to talk about anything not directly work related with those two particular people. As in if I have to call in I'm not going to tell them why. I'm not going to discuss personal things of any kind with them. Normally I don't. I keep to myself at work. But in general conversation sometimes things come up and the only reason I'm talking to anyone is because we're all extremely bored and it kills time. But if they are going to be a bunch of drama queens about apples and oranges, then fuck em. Or rather, don't.
But enough about them.
I got home and Master had dinner ready. We ate dinner, watched Saturday Night Live on Netflix and joked around a lot. Before I knew it I was relaxing, comfortable, and in a great mood. He was making sure I was laughing and smiling and having a good time. He was doing His best to help me have a good evening. And it's working. He's still being strict and not letting me slack, but He's making sure I'm enjoying myself and winding down.
On top of the drama at work I also had a busy work day. I worked 9 hours not including my lunch break and will be attempting to do that all week so I can make up some of the hours I lost from the snow day last week. And He also knows I'm stressing about that because I can't really afford to have that time off my paycheck but I don't really want to work on Saturday so we don't have to spend more money on gas in the car. So I'm doing everything I can to make up as much of it up as I can during this week. I'm not flipping out like I use to before my happy pills, but still it's stressful.
He's a great Husband and just being home with Him helps me relax. But that extra effort He puts in is always appreciated and noticed. I hope He knows that. If He doesn't, He does now. *smiles* Thankfully He still reads my blog everyday.