Hands On

Master and I fucked last night and it was amazing. I've always been one of those women that absolutely love the whole hands on approach. Pin me down, toss me like a rag doll, force me not to move... *purrs* I enjoy the mental aspect as well but last night is a good example of what I love about the hands on approach. At one point Master had me get on all fours and once He was inside of me He put one of His hands on my hip and His other hand on my neck. He had grabbed my neck in such a way that He had a grip on the front and back of my neck at the same time, while the palm of His hand cupped the side of my neck. His hands are huge and my neck... well... not so much. That's yet another reason why I absolutely love our size difference. He's 6ft4 and I'm 5ft1. I'm petite and He's a walking brick wall.

Today that moment of Him grabbing my neck continued to play on loop in my head. And one thing that it made me wonder is how long it's been since I've had my collar on. Oh how I miss it. So I just did a search on my blog and holy shit! The last day I had it on was January 3rd, 2012. I honestly didn't think it had been that long. Maybe because I can still remember how it felt on my neck. I still remember hooking my fingers under it when I was upset or just absently touching it for no reason what so ever.

I know I don't need it and that I'll never have another one again. The kind of metal I would need to guarantee that I wouldn't have an allergic reaction would be titanium and that is just too expensive. Especially since who knows if my next job will "allow" me to wear it. And I still have my cuff on. Thankfully I don't think any job will make it so I can't wear it. *shrugs*

Plus, now He has more access to my neck. *grins*

And on a completely unrelated topic...

Have you ever looked at your significant other and thought to yourself how physically attracted you are to them? I mean obviously I'm physically attracted to Him. Very much so. I always have been. But there are these moments that happen when I just look over at Him while we're talking and I think, "Holy hell He's hot."

That may sound odd since we've been together for a little over 11 years now. But the other day we were sitting outside on the patio and He had His feet kicked up on the table out there, leaning back in His chair. He had His shades on and His shoulder length hair was still somewhat wet from His shower. It was all brushed back and He was looking slightly off to the side while we were talking. And I just thought to myself how sexy He is.

Like I said I'm always physically attracted to Him but there are these moments that happen and it just smacks me in the face for a split second. I had another one a while back while we were in the car and He was driving. I looked at Him and He was driving with one arm, moving His head to the music. *sigh*

Heel Whore

Last night Master and I were sitting around talking. This was before we went to bed and I had dressed up for Master. He told me to surprise Him so after my shower I came out in nothing but heels and leg warmers. Honestly, it's one of my favorite looks. I really need more leg warmers! Seriously. The kind I have are straight black and they are sexy as hell.

I've only ever worn them as lingerie. I have thought about what it would look like it I wore them with my black skirt, heels and a black top. I'm sure it'd still be sexy, I just don't know if Master would think it would be good for a "out of the house" type thing. *shrugs*

Anyway, I'm getting off topic here.

Master had commented that I never wear heels to work. I did a double take. He asked me why I never did. My answer was simple. "I'm not with You so there is no body to impress or look nice for."

I think I saw Him smirk at that. But He also had a good point. They are somewhat... bondage looking. I mean they are normal heels. They aren't "obvious" as far as bondage goes. But it you are into kinky things... you'll probably look at them and go.. "Hey...."

I tried to look them up online at the website I got them from, but they don't seem to be selling them anymore.Good thing I got them when I did.

So Master said that if anything I could wear them to work as another reminder regarding my station in this dynamic. See, I had never thought of wearing heels to work. At least not normal heels. I've thought about low heeled boots. But that's about it.

Master said I could wear a pair of jeans, toss the heels and a top and I would be good to go.

I didn't do it today. To be honest I'm somewhat worried about fucking them up somehow. If they get worn down a bit because I've been strutting around the apartment for Master or because Him and I have been going out and He wanted me in heels, that's an entierely different matter. Then again I work in an office for fuck's sake. So it's not like they would get fucked up easily.

I'm protective of my heels, for lack of a better word. I don't have many anymore. For normal heels that I can wear out, I have two pair. The pair I wore last night and the boots with high heels that I love. The problem with the latter is that they are insulated, so I would sweat to death wearing them right now. But for fall they are awesome!

But the conversation Master and started last night kept swimming around in my head today.

Okay, Master and I don't really have the money to go out to dinner and such anymore. At least not very often. And normally when we run errands I don't really see the point of tossing heels on because we're just going to the grocery store or something similar. And thenwe are coming right back home afterward.

However, there are our bumming around days. I love our bumming around days. We just go driving, hit a couple of stores just to look and maybe buy something that isn't expensive. And what do I wear? Jeans and a t-shirt. It's easy to toss on and boom! We're out the door.

I've just become way too comfortable with that. I mean jeans, okay whatever, depending on the situation a skirt or dress may not be the wisest choice. But just because I'm wearing jeans that doesn't mean I automatically have to toss on sneakers or sandals. Master already hinted that I would look nice in jeans and heels.

And make-up? Bloody hell. I can't remember the last time I wore that out of the house. Not that I wear a lot when I do or anything, but still.

I just need to get out of this comfortable stage and smack the hell out of myself. "Hey bitch! Just because it's comfortable and you're not going out to dinner and a movie does not mean you can't look sexy for your Man. A little effort goes a long way, stupid."

So, on the weekends especially I want to step my game up so to speak. I know Master and I have been together for about 8 1/2 years and I know He still finds me incredibly sexy. But that doesn't mean I should slack off. I used to dress up all the time just to look nice for Him. Granted we were going out more back then, but so what?

I feel bad. I feel like I've seriously dropped the ball. Like I said I want to smack the hell out of myself.

Then the flip side of that is I really wish I could go buy new skirts, dresses and heels. I have one new dress that Master likes. It's more of a summer dress and it's plain but Master said He likes it.

While I was looking through the website trying to find the pair of heels I actually own I was drooling over what they have in stock right now. I just want to say "Fuck it!" go out and buy at least two more pairs of heels, three skirts, two tops and two dresses. That would be a nice start.

But that's more than we can afford right now. Maybe I can squeeze at least a new pair of heels in sooner rather than later. Hell, any one of the items listed above would be nice. Although honestly, I'm drooling more and more over new heels. I'm not normally a "shoe" girl. But heels? The right kind anyway, I love looking at them. I love thinking about how hot I would look in them. Especially since Master loves me in heels and I could wear them in and out of the bedroom. *sigh*