This, That, & The Other

Not much has been going on. I've not been feeling well for the past couple of days, and yes it has put a damper on things. It hit me out of no where. I was about ready to just lay down and fall asleep when all of a sudden I felt the urge to be sick. And sure as hell, once I got to the bathroom I was sick. Thankfully it was only the one time but I still felt off the rest of the night. The next day I didn't feel nauseous anymore but my stomach felt like I had a rock in it.

I feel a bit better today. But I've been tired a lot. *sigh* The weather isn't helping. Especially with the whole feeling tired all the time part of it. It is cold as fuck outside. And whenever it is that cold I feel tired. Today is worse than usual but I think it is mainly due to the fact that I didn't sleep well last night as well as my not feeling well for the past few days.

Master has been very kind and allowing me to nap. He wakes me up after a while but even a half hour here or a hour there is appreciated. I hope that tomorrow I feel like everything is back to normal. Ugh.

The other thing that is kind of fucking with me is that I had a very, very short period this past month. It was less than a full day and it hasn't come back since.

It talked to my mother about it and she told me that most women in her side of the family hit pre-menapause in their early 30's. Well with me it would be extremely early 30's since I'll only be 32 in March.  For all I know it was a fluke. *shrugs*

I do remember my doctor telling me that when I got fixed (my tubes burned) that my period would most likely get a little unpredictable as I got older. I got fixed back when I was 21. Wow. I honestly hadn't realized that it's been almost 11 years already. Huh.

Anyway.. like I said it might just be a fluke. If it happens again, meaning this month, I'll probably go to a doctor just to make sure. With it only happening one time I don't think it warrants it.

Done

Yesterday was a lot of errands where we were stocking up on things because of the weather that was coming in. It isn't going to be a blizzard or anything but super fucking cold. There was some snow, yes, but I was more worried about the temperature. I only wanted to go to a few select stores though. Unfortunately none of the stores I went to had the kind of hair dye I wanted. I knew exactly what I was looking for and I wasn't going to budge from it. So I waited. I did make one extra stop and that was to buy Master new winter gloves. His old pair had finally started to die so I had bought Him a new pair about a month ago. It didn't take long for those to break, literally. They were leather gloves but they weren't top of the line leather and before ya know it a seam busted. *shrugs* The main reason I had bought that pair was because they were the right size, they were leather, and they were on clearance. Sometimes my being a cheapskate works against me. Oh well. So yesterday I bought Master some heavy duty Caterpillar gloves. They were more than I would normally pay for gloves, but He needed them and not a lot of places sell gloves in His size.

I also recently got a new pillow. It is super fluffy. New pillows are awesome. After a while pillows just get flat and then they just aren't as comfy. This one is awesome. Nothing special about it, just a normal pillow but nicer normal pillow, if that makes any sense. But last night right before bed Master had leaned on it and He commented on how soft the pillow was. He followed that up with He was going to find out how well it worked when it was being used to prop up my hips while He was fucking me. Shortly there after we found out that it works rather well. *laughs*

Today eventually it wasn't as bad as it was going to be later on so I ran the errand to go get my hair dye. I got it! It took forever. Mainly because I had to bleach the hair I wanted done and then wash and dry it. Once that was done I had to finally put the color in. But I love it! It didn't turn out exactly as I had in my mind. The reason is because I was only doing the bottom two inches of my hair. The problem was that I wanted it so that if I had to cut it due to a job I still wanted my hair longer. Well, if I had gone two inches all the way around my hair would have been really short up by my face. As a result I couldn't do it. Oh well. I still really like it. Master says He isn't sure how He feels about it yet and He'll make His decision after seeing how it looks while I'm bent over. It is very, very bright red.

Red

Yes, I know that this post is a day late. Honestly the days have been blurring together one after another. I apologized to Master about it and explained why I had totally spaced about it. He forgave me. It has been a very long time where I have just flat out forgotten to do a blog post. There have been times where I have asked to skip or push off a post but that is completely different then just spacing out on it. I'm glad that He forgave me and that I'm not in trouble because of it.

I have created a page for my paracord items. :) It's on a social network site and under my real name so I won't be putting a link to it here. But honestly I am very proud of myself because of it. Well, because of how many compliments I get over my work but also because of the fact that they are actually selling and people are enjoying them. I actually made three bracelets to order today.

I will say that having made graphics for the page I made has me itching to tinker with this blog again in so far as the appearance goes. I don't know what the hell I would do with it and knowing me I'll end scraping the idea and still with what is on here now. *shrugs*

All of the ones I have made for myself are the same colors. I have my collar, my key chain, and two bracelets. One of the bracelets has a skull charm on it and the other bracelet is in a different weave which is called the "viper" weave. The normal weave is called the "cobra". But I am trying to expand my knowledge on different weaves and I really love how the "viper" weave looks. My favorite colors are black and red. Preferably dark red. Blood red. I am kind of weird in that way. I want it all to match. *shrugs* It's one of my quirks.

But as I was sitting around today I thought about how I have always wanted red hair dye in my hair some way some how. I don't want my entire head of hair red. I actually tried that once. My hair ended up purple and I had to have my hair professionally stripped of color and dyed brown again. That was back before Master and I were even living together. In fact it was almost at the very beginning of our relationship. I was at the most 21 but I honestly think I was still only 20. I'm figuring that based mostly on the job I had at the time.

Anyway, since that time I haven't really been able to put any "unusual" colors in my hair because of the jobs I've had since then. I know a lot of people would think having red in their hair isn't unusual. But I'm not talking about your normal shade of red. I'm talking punk rock red. The kind of red you used to see in mohawks. It's as close to blood red as I can get.

I talked to Master about it and He approved my request. I am currently unemployed and I figure for at least a little while I can have it and who knows maybe the job I get into will allow such things. However, just to play it I'm not putting streaks in. I'm simply going to do what Master calls the "burn marks". He also calls it the "singed look". It is where I was only be dying the tips of my hair. Well, more than just the tips. But you get the idea. It will be along the bottom of my hair. That way, if nothing else, I've have had it for at least a short period of time and if I have to, I can just cut my hair. After all it won't be more than two inches of hair coming off, so my hair would still be long.

I'm hoping I can go buy the hair dye tomorrow. I'm very excited about it.

Fuck You 2014

Today is the last day of 2014. What does this mean? It means that for the next two months I'll be writing the wrong year down until I finally get it through my head that I should be writing 15 instead of 14. And.... that's about it. I don't make new year resolutions. I see them as pointless. If I really want to do something I don't have to make myself a "promise" that this year I'm going to do it. *shrugs* I would, however, like to go on record and say that 2014 has been one of the worst years I've had in a long time. I've thought other years sucked but 2014 has thrown so much shit at me, all at one fucking time. It was literally... I lost my job in February and then about two or three weeks after that my grandfather was in the hospital and never went back home. Fuck. You. Very. Much.

Since that point things just keep hitting, and hitting, and hitting, and hitting some fucking more. Just as one thing started to calm down a little the other kicked up. It's been a very fucking up roller coaster.

The main points have been my losing my job, my grandfather's health that is forever declining, our dog being injured, an unexpected move, a huge fight between Master and His mother, family drama on my side of the family which centers around my grandfather.

*sigh*

But here we are, at the end of it. The very end of it.

Does that mean that absolutely nothing good happened this year? Well, nothing major. There wasn't a one defining moment or anything. But I've been making some money by making and selling paracord. So, I found a new hobby that I can make some pocket money from. I actually enjoy making the items themselves.

Master and I are still going strong, as we have been for damn near twelve years. That is always something to by thankful for. We have been through a metric fuck ton of bullshit this year. But our marriage is just as strong as it always has been.

Certain people in our families have been incredibly supportive and we are trying to be just as supportive to them. There has just been way too much going on. All I can hope for is that 2015 will be better.

Boring Yet Interesting

Sometimes that is how I think of myself. I'm boring but interesting at the same time. It really doesn't have to do with anything at all. Just small stuff that pops into my brain from time to time.

Boring: I have never been a heavy drinker. Ever. I was never a party girl. I was never a bar fly. Nope. None of that. Hell, now I can't even really have my own drink due to the medication I'm on. If I want some I have to basically either order my own and only drink up to half of it or I ask for a few sips from a drink Master is having. It kind of sucks. Like I said, I've never been a heavy drinker but I wouldn't mind a Mike's Hard Lemonade sometimes. I've only ever been drunk twice in my life. Both of those times were accidental.

Interesting: I have tattoos. I have twelve tattoos currently and you can be damn sure I'm not done yet. I've always said that I'll stop at thirteen. Why? I just thought it would be kind of funny. But now I see this tattoo that I want or that tattoo that I want. Yet, I also don't have a lot of room left where I am willing to put tattoos. *shrugs* We shall see. I started getting tattoos when I was 18. If I remember correctly it was shortly after my 18th birthday. And even though people have told me that since I started getting them so young, that I would regret them when I was older. Here I am only a few months shy of being 32 and I don't regret a single one of them.

Boring: I don't have any friends. Well, I kind of do. There is Bry, who is our friend that Master was the best man for his wedding. But I think we've seen him all of three or four times since his wedding, which was about two years ago. Then there is our friend that moved down to Florida and we only saw him once since then and it was because we had just gotten married and his sister had just had a baby. So he pretty much killed two birds with one stone. I don't blame him at all. It's expensive as hell to travel back and forth. I know Master and I can't afford it. And ya know what? I don't want a lot of friends. I am perfectly content as is.

Interesting: I'm a slave. Yep. But then again you knew that. Obviously. I mean here you are reading this post after all.

Boring: I love to read. I guess that's not really boring. But a lot of people think it is. "What do you mean you just sit there and read for fun?" As if reading is a chore or punishment. I don't think it is at all. Hell, I've recently found a new author I like. Oddly enough I found the first book that introduced me to this author at a grocery store of all places. The author is Gilliam Flynn. I devoured that book in no time flat. So I went out and bought another one. Devoured that one too. And so, yet again, I went out and bought another one. I'm reading that one currently. The sucky thing is that she has only written these three books. *sad face* And it's really shocking for me to pick up a book I know nothing about by an author I have never heard of. It worries me that I am shelling out money for something I might have to drag myself through to the end and then hate it. It's not like a movie. I mean, I don't want to waste money on those either, but to me it is different with a book.

Interesting: I have piercings. Three of them to be exact. Oddly enough none of them are in my ears. I used to have my ears pierced. Two on each lobe and one in the cartilage in my left year. I took the one in my cartilage out because my hair continuously got caught in it and that fucking hurts. The four, total, in my lobes I took out because I couldn't really find any earrings that I really loved that weren't gold or a metal I couldn't wear. I can wear gold. I just don't like it. Not even white gold. At least not on myself. So now I just have one piercing in each nipple and a VCH (vertical clit hood) piercing.

Boring: I don't really have a lot of hobbies. I read and just recently I started making paracord bracelets and key chains. I also code for my blog when I get bored with it. I guess you could consider writing in this blog as a hobby, but I don't really see it as one because it is mandatory.

Interesting: I have a fucked up sense of humor, I swear a lot, and I'm morbid. Yes, I guess that counts as three but I'm doing them all in one. So there. My fucked up sense of humor is both out there and dark, depending on my mood. I can normally get people to crack up, especially Master. I swear a lot because well, it's just how I talk. I obviously swear when I'm pissed off or in pain but I swear as it was a perfectly normal way of talking. "What the fuck ever.", "What the shit are you even fucking talking about dude?", "I'm bored as fucking hell. Damn it. Fuuuccckkk. I wanna fucking do something but there is nothing to fucking do." And I'm not even angry when I say those things. It's just how I talk. The only time I'm not talking like that is when I work. Somehow I am, thankfully, able to flip that switch. As far as my being morbid, I'm not what you would think. I'm not gothic. I'm not emo. Sometimes I wish I could look a little more out there. Especially my hair. I would absolutely love having either purple or dark blood red streaks in my hair. But with the line of work I normally have I can't. I wouldn't get hired. Not that I'm getting hired now, but ya know. Whatever. I've thought about doing it anyway. I truly have. Especially the red. I figure I could pass with the blood red streaks. People have red hair. Maybe not that shade but still. Purple? No way. That is so not a natural hair color. What really pisses me off though is that I see people with fucked up hair colors that are working and I'm sitting there thinking to myself, "Then what the fuck is stopping me?" *sigh*

So anyway, those are just a few things that run through my head from time to time.

Change of Scenery

There isn't a lot going on currently. The holidays are over and so at least part of the stress is relieved. The stress factor over the holidays really killed our sex life. *shrugs* Sometimes sex helps relieve stress but there are times, like the past week, where the stress just kills the mood to the point where you just don't want to even try. 

And sometimes you just need a change of surrounding for a little while. Not much of one, just a little bit. So, since my paracord sales have done pretty damn well this past month, we are considering getting a hotel room for a couple of days. It wouldn't be far from home, but that's not the point. The point is just to get out of this place for a little while. I think it would be nice, and I already have someone who said they would keep an eye on our dog and two rabbits for those two days.

I know it may sound silly that we want to go to a hotel room for two days but it would be a break. It would be something a little different. It would kind of be like a mini vacation without really spending a lot of money. We couldn't get like a posh hotel or anything, but I think we could afford something half way decent. And it's not like we would need a hotel with a fuck ton of perks. I just want a room with a comfy bed. 

I think it would be nice. Yes, it wouldn't last long. But still. 

I'll be looking into it to see how much rooms would cost. I have a feeling waiting until after New Year's Day would be our best bet. Mainly due to prices. New Year's Even is kind of crazy so I'm figuring that the hotel room prices would be hiked up at least a little bit.
 

We shall see. 

It's Over

Christmas has never been my favorite holiday. Well, at least not since I was young and even then it was only because I got a lot of presents. *laughs* Since I became a teenager though my favorite holiday has been Halloween. It still is today. But this Halloween didn't feel like Halloween. It felt like a normal day and it sucked. Today was Christmas and while there were some presents exchanged between family members it was short lived and after that it was back to feeling like any other day. The only part I was actually excited about was that the younger family members of mine really, truly appreciated and loved their presents. Other than that, like I said, it was just another day.

Master and I even tried to go out to eat for dinner tonight but only two restaurants anywhere near us were open. One we both hate and the other was packed to the point where we couldn't even fully get in the door. So, that fucking sucked. We were both pissy about it and simply stopped at a gas station, since the grocery stores are closed, and picked up some snacks in addition to what we were going to be eating when we got home.

We weren't mad at each other. It is just irritating when you go out expecting to eat at a restaurant and that is literally the only reason you left the house just to turn around and come home.

But tomorrow already looks like it is going to be a better day. We have to hit the bank and I have to stop somewhere and buy bottled water, but aside from that we plan on catching a late lunch and going out to buy another book for myself. I'm already damn near finished with the one I bought Tuesday. I absolutely love reading. That is one thing that my grandmother got me addicted to before she passed away. It also doesn't help when I have all this damn spare time on my hands.

The only thing that may sour my mood tomorrow is the fact that Master, my brother, and I are all going over to my dad's house. That in and of itself isn't really a problem. It's that bitch that lives with him that I don't want to deal with.

It really, truly, sucks when you want to go spend time with someone, whether it be a family member or a friend, but you don't want to deal with their significant other.