Fucking = Stress Relief

Sex is a perfect form of stress relief. Saturday was a great example of that. 

I was sensitive all over. Sometimes a lot of stress will do that to me. All of my nerve endings get flared up rather easily and as a result I was moaning rather quickly. Especially when He started flicking His tongue against my nipples. I was stroking His dick as He molested my tits. And apparently He was pretty worked up as well. There was enough pre-cum for me to slick my fingers and rub it along the underside of His cock. I then rubbed it around the head and would alternate between massaging just behind of the head of His dick to stroking the length of Him.

He moaned when He had my nipple in my mouth and it felt.. interesting. A good kind of interesting.

Eventually He knelt up and told me to slide up the bed. After I was comfortable He slipped in between my legs and ate me out. When I came I was breathing very heavily and could barely keep myself from moving every time He breathed while His head was still in between my legs.

He chuckled rather darkly and didn't allow me much time to catch my breath before He moved me into position like a rag doll. I love that He can toss me around without much effort. It's one of the advantages to our size differences. (He's 6ft4 and I'm 5ft1. I am petite and He is built like a brick wall. A very sexy brick wall.)

I whimpered and moaned and squeaked from the overwhelming sensations while He fucked me. He ordered me to cum over and over again, each time becoming more and more sensitive. And towards to end He make sure to be balls deep and just rotate His hips until just before He got off. As soon as I felt Him harden even more, as He does right before He shoots His cum into me, He started forcibly slammed into me, faster and faster until He gripped my hips and growled. A part of me wanted to move up just a little because I was so overly sensitive that I could almost not contain the sensation with His cock pulsing inside of me. It wasn't because I didn't want to cum. I'm not allowed to without His permission and/or ordering me to do so. It was because it hurt. Granted it was in a good way but it still hurt and my head was swimming. The other part wanted me to push back even more. Because ya know, I'm a masochist and all that.

It's not like I had a choice either way. He had me just where He wanted me and I wouldn't have been able to move forward or back if I wanted to.

Afterward He held me for a little while as we both were enjoying the high from the incredible sex. I was jello for the rest of the day. I was completely relaxed and just happy. We weren't doing anything special at all the rest of the day but I was just... happy.

Simpler Times

I've had this thought swimming around in my mind for a little while now, so I thought I should post about it.

I've been busy as fuck as my job. As a result I have been very sore and very tired by the time I get home from work. I'm tired to the point that the only slave like things I'm even remotely doing is asking if He wants something to drink while I'm on my way to the kitchen and asking if I may use the bathroom. Oh, and doing my blog every other night. *sigh* And I know that this up coming week is going to be more of the same. I've been approved for doing 10 hours of overtime this upcoming week. And yes, I plan on actually doing that. I know it's necessary and yes I hate it. I don't hate it just for the fact that I'm at work that much, although that is part of it.

I also hate it because I come home to eat and sleep. That's pretty much it. I'm only awake for about 4 hours after I get home. That's if I'm lucky. The other night I was home for 3 hours before I crashed out on the couch. I hate it. Part of that is because I'm so wiped out mentally and my fibromyalgia is kicking my tail.

I want to spend more time with Him. I want to be a better wife/slave than what I'm able to be when I'm that sore and tired.

As a result my mind wandered to simpler times. Those were when I was in college. I wasn't working at the time. All I was doing was going to college, doing homework, and that was it. It left quite a bit of time for the good fiance then good wife as well as a good slave. We got married about a year into my going to college.

I was originally going for web design. I did eventually realize that isn't want I wanted to do. So I had looked into switching my major.

Before I could I had to "drop out". We hit a really rough patch financially speaking and I knew that I couldn't hold a full time job and go to college as well. I know that a lot of people can, and do, but I decided that I couldn't. So off to the working world I went and I never went back to college.

It was simpler because I had more time. I had more time to serve Him the way He wants to be served. I wasn't as worn out and  I wasn't as stressed out. Also, I was rocking out the whole college thing. I was getting awesome grades. And Master would comment on how hot I looked laying down mainly naked, if not fully nude, while pouring over my college books. He was also always so proud of me. That is a wonderful feeling. It's not that He isn't proud of me anymore, but it felt different back then. It felt like I was actually accomplishing something and earning Him being proud of me. I don't feel that I do that when I'm working.

But each time I switched jobs to make better money and to have a more stable job the more I became stressed and tired. And that started to cut into what I wanted to be doing more and more.

I have wished, many times, that I could be a stay at home slave. It's not that I don't want to contribute to this marriage financially. It's not that I want to be a pampered slave girl. The appeal to me is that I could serve Him at any point during the day, whether it be sexually or something else. That would be my main focus rather than work having to be my main focus and my submission being forced to the back burner.

I know it will never happen. That doesn't mean I can't dream about it.

Not the Good Kind of Pain

There actually isn't a lot going on in my gray matter right now. Work has been kicking my tail up one side and down the other. As a result I'm more like a bump on a log than anything when I'm at home.

That pisses me off actually. I want to be more active. I want to be up to fucking at the very least. But I'm not. It's not just the fact that I am like a zombie or the fact that I feel like I can't form a full thought and keep a hold of it for more than a few minutes. It's also the fact that I'm sore all over. Mainly the tops of my shoulders, right between my shoulder blades, and of course my lower back. What's weird is that even my left knee is starting to give me shit. It feels like there is water under it, which is just a wonderful sensation.

I've been trying not to complain about it. Master's neck has been really bothering Him. He's not sure what He did to it but He can't turn His head one way too far without it really hurting. I've been there, many times. Hell, I've actually had my neck muscles lock so I can't move my head at all without it causing so much pain that I feel like I'm going to be sick.

I'm trying to help as much as I can. I've worked on His neck the past two nights. I'm doing the best I can, but there isn't a whole hell of a lot you can do with a pain like that. All you can do is try to get it to relax a little bit. Without a muscle relaxer it basically has to run it's course. He said it's a little bit better than it was two days ago, which is a good thing.

Since I know exactly what that feels like I feel even worse for Him. Whenever He's in pain I feel bad and I wish I could do more. With something I can relate to, like what He's going through right now, I feel worse.

I'm sure He turned His neck wrong or just turned it to quickly. Hell, it could just be that He slept wrong. I also know that the cold isn't helping at all. Cold weather always makes pain seem amplified. Especially when it's muscle pain since your muscles are already tightening up due to the cold. You add something like that to it and holy hell.

My poor Master.

Hurry Up & Wait

Well, I didn't get to update my post from yesterday. There was just way too much shit going on. It was a lot of trying to figure out how to get shit done. It was a long damn day. It will sound stupid as hell but I actually kind of wished I had been at work yesterday. Not because I like being at work. But because then none of the stress of yesterday would have happened and I wouldn't have to make up the time at work.

I know it was another day off of work, but it didn't feel like it. Not at all. It's not like I got to relax. It was a lot of hurry up and wait. That whole getting the battery from the store and having them install it for free idea went out the window. It just didn't make much sense to begin with. I was kind of freaking out at the moment. The reason I called them in the first place is because I thought I still had a warranty, so while that would have made the most sense it turned out not to be true anyway.

Once that was determined I gave up on the idea rather quickly. So, when the mechanic shop I go to opened I called them. They told me how much it would be and honestly it wasn't going to be that much more, including labor.

While I was on the phone with them I asked if they could maybe come down and jump start my car and I would follow them back. They apologized but they were booked fucking solid and couldn't afford to send any of their employees. I didn't get mad or anything. I understood. They have always been straight up with me and treated me well as a customer.

I then called around and got a hold of a place that does nothing but jump starts, unlocking car doors, and things like that. They told me it would be a 3 hour wait for someone to get to my place because of how back logged they were due to the cold. Made sense. So I said that was fine and asked them to just call me when they got here.

Right before the 3 hour mark was going to click by I got a phone call that they were outside by my car. So I went out there and they tried to jump start my car. They tried three different things. They tried doing it off their car. That didn't work. So they tried it off a jump start battery pack. No dice. Then they tried a different jump start battery that was stronger. Nope. Fuck me running.

They only charged me $10 for coming out here and trying. I thought that was more than fair.

Now I just had to try and find a different way to get my car down there. I called around to different tow truck companies but either they were too far out, they were way too expensive, or they would only tow me to their own shop rather than the shop I wanted to go to.

I called the mechanic again and they gave me the number to a tow truck company they recommend. I called them and they were the cheapest. They also didn't make it seem like I was bothering them, unlike most of the places I had called before.

They told me they were swamped due to all the breakdowns and told me they should be there in 2 hours. Okay.

While I was waiting I called my brother and asked him to come up. I did that just in case for some reason the car didn't get a new battery that day because ya know, shit fucking happens. I apologized over and over again because it's a long drive for him to get up here. He said it was fine.

He got here before the tow truck did. We hung out for a little while and when the 2 1/2 hour mark ticked by I called the tow truck company. They told me it was going to be another 1 1/2 hours. I got a little cranky because while I understand that they are swamped I would expect a better time quote or at least a courtesy call letting me know they were running behind

So another 2 hours go by and they finally get here. I was worried though because they got here at 5pm and the shop I go to closes at 6pm. At that time I was glad I had called my brother because it seemed like the car was going to have to wait until tomorrow. My brother drove me to the shop so I wouldn't have to ride with the tow truck driver and I wouldn't have to sit down there by myself.

When we got there the shop was jam packed. There were only three parking spots left. My brother pulled into one of them. The tow truck wasn't that far behind us thankfully.

The shop actually put me ahead as a priority because most people weren't picking up their cars until the next day. So they took a car out of the bay and put mine in. We sat there for about 45 minutes. It was actually past their close time by the time everything was said and done.

They had checked my alternator and my starter just to be on the safe side and thankfully they were both fine. I don't want to even guess what that repair bill would have been. The car needed a new battery obviously. But she also needed a battery cable extended, so they had to wait on that. She also needed a new battery housing because I guess the one that was in there was in pretty rough shape.

What was awesome was that they only charged me for the battery and labor. Sweet! I drove my car back and my brother followed me. He stayed the night just to be on the safe side. I ended up going to bed rather early. It had felt like an incredibly long day.

When I got up this morning to go to work my brother got up too. He wanted to make sure my car started. And she did! She started just fine and right away. I was a bit surprised when I was sitting in the car waiting for her to warm up and I saw my brother walking to his car. I opened my window and asked what was up. He said he was just going to head on home because he knew I was all good to go and his knee was really bothering him.

I can't blame him. He dropped everything at the drop of a dime to come help me out and even stayed the night to make sure I could get to work in the morning. He pisses me off sometimes and I don't like who he is dating but he is a good brother and I love him.

Although I won't be going into work on Saturday. I've decided to just work 10 hour work days the rest of the work week so I can have my entire weekend. It's rough but I'd rather do that than only have one full day off of work.

Battery Issues

Well it's currently -45° out. I took the dog out and he did his business so fast I think he broke some kind of record. After I got him back inside I went out to try and start my car and she didn't want to do it. She tried and then made this "da da da da" noise. I tried again about 20 minutes later and same result. I tried one last time right before 8am and same mother fucking result. I don't know why I thought it would be any different. Fuck!! The cold had sucked out all the power in the battery. So I call my job and told them. I had to call HR of all people because apparently I had the wrong number for my supervisor. She doesn't like me, at all. She actually sounded somewhat understanding. Does that mean I won't get in trouble for not coming into work and being out of time? No. She's a cunt. It's also company policy not to go over your time without disciplinary action. Now, keeping that in mind, it is up to HR as to whether or not it's warranted. Such as if there is an emergency they won't go through with the disciplinary action. Does a dead battery count? No idea. And like I said, she's a cunt. Hopefully she is wasn't being a two faced bitch on the phone and it's actually true that she understands. I did tell her that I literally have no other way to work. I really don't. I'm not making that shit up. Either way I'll now have to work Saturday to make up the time.

After I got off the phone with her I called the place I got my battery from last time. I honestly thought I had bought it last year. They looked up my receipt in their system and nope. I bought it two years ago and therefore the warranty has expired.

So I asked them how much their batteries are. They told me. Batteries are never cheap. I then asked if they could install it. They said that yes they do free installation but they don't think they can do it today due to the cold. It will take at least 35 minutes to put it in and they don't want to give their employees frostbite since no one is supposed to be outside for more than 5 minutes. I completely understand that. After all they don't have a garage. They are an auto parts store that does free installation. But the guy said when the manager gets in he'll ask. The manager doesn't get there until 1pm. So I told them I would call back at that time.

This fucking blows! I'll have to figure something out so I can at least get to work tomorrow. And it's supposed to be just as cold tomorrow until around noon or so. Even if I do some how, some way, get the battery replaced today it's not going to make a fuck ton of sense to go in today. It's supposed to be even colder by the time I would normally get out of work. I don't need to be stranded out there thank you very much.

My brother just sent me a text saying his girlfriend had tried to go to work and the car started up fine but she is now stranded because her car sputtered out about a half hour away from her job due to the cold. I don't like the girl but I felt bad for my brother. I told him not to risk himself and have her just call an emergency number or for him to give her a non-emergency number, such as the local police station, and go from there.

I'll probably edit this post through out the day and do updates once I find out more, just so I can vent a bit.

Fuck You Too Winter

I try not to do a lot of work posts and I know I did one the last time I posted. This is a combination of a work and weather post.

While at work yesterday people were talking about how cold it's going to be Monday and Tuesday. I didn't really pay a lot of attention to it. I mean, we're in Wisconsin. It gets pretty cold in the winter. Plus people at work complain when it's in the 30's outside. It's not like I enjoy it but still, if you live here you have to expect such things, ya know? Lately it has been below zero. The lowest it has been is -18°. However, when the chatter about the weather for Monday and Tuesday continued and seemed to sound concerned rather than just complaining I thought it would be a good idea to look into it. Master and I don't have cable or satellite so obviously we don't watch the weather channel. Instead I rely on weather.com.

It's an acceptable thing to look at while at work so when I had about 15 minutes left in my shift I went there and took a peek. My jaw dropped. It's supposed to be a minimum of  -40° to -55° starting really late Sunday night and going through Tuesday at noon. They are saying that it will cause frostbite in a very short period of time and can be life threatening.

I know it's Wisconsin but holy fucking shit! They are saying it's been about a 18 years since this last happened. Well 18 years ago I was 12 and therefore did not have a job. So I didn't have to really worry about it. I just stayed inside.

The surrounding counties have already stated that schools will be closed Monday. They haven't decided about Tuesday yet, and the governor has stated that they may close all of the schools in Wisconsin. That is fucking insane.

On the way home from work yesterday I told the passenger in my carpool about it. He honestly looked at me and said, "You're lying." I said, "No I'm not. You can look it up."

He seriously thought I was kidding. When he realized that I was being completely serious he started talking about how our office should shut down too because seriously, you could get frostbite just trying to go to work in the morning or even get hypothermia, which weather.com has said as well. I agreed when him. He said it would be absolute utter bullshit if the office did decide to be open.

The problem is we have a phone number to call to see if the office is still open. It is an automated message. And when we had a blizzard a couple years ago where we literally could not get out of the door of our apartment I called that number a dozen times while somewhat freaking out because like I said my job is a bastard when it comes to getting to work on time let alone getting there at all.

I alternated between trying to get a hold of HR or my supervisor explaining that I couldn't even get out the door. No one was answering. And so I continued to call the number to see if the office was even open. Finally, at 9am they had changed the automated message stating that the office was closed due to "winter weather conditions". But until then I was freaking out because I didn't want to lose my job.

Yes, it's different not being able to get out your door and it being so cold people are stating that if you are outside for more than 10 minutes you can get frostbite and/or hypothermia.

It takes me longer than 15 minutes to get my car cleared off and warmed up enough to leave for work. Not really warm, just warm enough to start going to work. Not to mention taking the dog out first. So add another 10 to 15 minutes there. Now you're talking a full 30 minutes of being outside in that shit. Also, my car might not even start if it's that fucking cold. We don't have a garage. The car is just in an open parking lot.

It's also a 45 minute drive to work. So if by some miracle my car does start up and I haven't frozen to death by that point the car could choke out at any point on the way to work due to the cold and then I'm stuck in my car with no heat until I can get help of some kind. (Such as a cop car or an ambulance.)

This isn't me being a pussy about the cold. These are facts. They have even made it so city workers aren't going to be outside. No mail. No garbage pick up service. Nothing.

On the one hand if the office for some fucking reason decides that they will still be open I don't want to lose my job or get written up for not coming in. On the other hand I don't want to end up in the hospital with frostbite or hypothermia. There isn't a lot to me people! I'm petite and don't really have a lot of meat on my bones.

I won't really be able to make a decision or find out if the office is open until Monday morning.

Master has always told me that my health comes first, so we'll see what happens and how it goes.

I'm not going to freak out about it until we get there. There isn't any point in doing so. I want to enjoy my weekend after all.

Stress Relief

Today was extremely stressful for me. It had snowed most of the day yesterday but it wasn't snowing this morning and when I looked outside the streets seemed pretty clear. Just a little bit of slush. I left for work at 6:50am. Normally when I leave at that time I'll get to work a little after 7:30am. I start at 8am so I get there every day about a half hour early. I like to make sure that I get to work on time and preferably early even if I'm not clocking in early. Why? Well, the traffic is usually better for one. Another is that I hate being late to work. It makes my day seemed so damned rushed and makes me feel anxious. Well today I didn't get to work until 8:17am. So a drive that normally takes me 40 minutes took me a hour and twenty fucking minutes.

The roads were mostly clear. It was just slush, like I said. I was still driving carefully, don't get me wrong there. But after a certain point it all became gridlocked. The interstate was extremely backed up. It didn't make any sense.

Well apparently at the exact exit I needed there was an accident. What was stupid was that both cars were in the emergency lane. There was no glass. It looked like one slammed on their brakes and the other didn't stop in time. So how does one small ass accident like that back up the entire west bound side of the interstate?! Who the fuck knows.

I was pissed by the time I got to work and clocked in. Like I said I hate being late to work. And sure as shit I felt rushed as hell. I literally spend the entire last four and a half hours of my work day working on three fucking things. Why? Because my supervisor was riding my ass about it. I'm already back logged and now you want me to strictly concentrate on three things and three things only? Fuck you very much.

But I set it all aside and kept him updated. I kept him updated to the point that I actually think I was annoying him a little bit. But hey.. you told me to keep you updated so here ya go! Plus I was covering my own ass. So yeah.

The drive home was better but I still had a couple of stops to make which seemed to take forever when in fact they didn't take long at all.

When I finally walked in the door I got a great big hug from Master and I immediately smiled. That didn't stop me from venting though. *laughs* It's not like He minded. He knows I need to vent and encourages it so that I don't try and keep it bottled up without meaning to.

As the night has gone on I feel much more relaxed. I've been goofing around with Him and we've been laughing. I love unwinding with Him. He knows how to make me laugh and honestly allows me to get away with just a little bit more, in so far as picking on Him, when He knows I've had a really rough day.