Winter Has Arrived

Yesterday they were saying we were supposed to get 5 to 8 inches of snow and that it was supposed to start around 5pm. As a result I was sitting there at work just hoping that it would wait until I got home from work. And when I left work it wasn't snowing so I was very happy. I made a quick stop on my way home to pick up a few things to make sure we didn't have to go drive in it.

Last night I would periodically look outside to see how bad it was. No snow. Not even a dusting. It was almost 3:30am by the time I fell asleep on the couch and it hadn't started yet. So I figured it was going to be as bad as they said it was going to be. It's supposed to be lake effect snow and we live about a half mile off the lake so I figured we would get hit pretty hard. But since it hadn't started yet I figured it wasn't going to be that bad.

Then I get up this morning to take the dog out and sure as fuck it's snowing. There wasn't a lot on the ground yet but the snow was coming down pretty hard and steady so I'm guessing that by tonight we should have about 5 inches of snow.

I'm just glad we don't have to go anywhere today. We shouldn't have to leave the apartment at all except for when the dog has to go outside to do his business.

So far we haven't had our typical severe winter storms. But it's still pretty early in the winter season. Hell, a few years back we had a blizzard that we didn't really think was going to be as bad as it was and then boom... we couldn't even get out the door of the apartment. So who knows. Our winters can be rather unpredictable at times.

Painted Nails

I've never been a girly girl. Never. Yes, I can wear heels. But I don't see that as girly. Maybe because of the kind of heels I like. *shrugs* Black, high, and at least somewhat comfortable.

Since I was a little kid I've been seen as a tom boy. I hated wearing dresses when I was a kid. I preferred to be comfortable. I don't mind dresses now, depending on what it is. I mean come on now, I wore a black dress for our wedding. Yes, I love the color (or lack there of) black. Black, gray, dark blue, dark red, and dark purple. They all flow together pretty well. And that is the majority of my wardrobe. There are a few exceptions of course.

Anyway, my point is that as much as I'm not a girly girl I love having painted nails. I almost always have my toenails painted. This went through my mind because while I was taking my shower tonight, I looked down and it actually looked weird to me because I don't have any nail polish on my toenails. None. I don't know why it looked weird, it just did.

The funny thing is that Master told me a long time ago that I'm the first woman He's dated (we were just dating at the time) that paints their toenails. That surprised me.

I love having my fingernails painted too, but they chip so damn easily! It gets frustrating. They will look awesome for a few days and then it starts to chip away.

My toenails don't do that. They stay painted until I take it off. No chipping. So most of the time I'll walk around with just my toenails painted and no nail polish on my fingernails. I'm sure to some people, if they saw my feet, would think it looked stupid. But I like it. Master doesn't seem to mind either. There have been plenty of times where I'll sit on the couch and paint my toenails without putting any on my fingernails. He just tells me it looks nice.

He doesn't really care honestly. I mean I think He likes it but I don't think He cares whether they are painted or not. That doesn't stop me from asking if He likes the color. Or I'll pull out two or three different colors and ask Him to pick one out. He never gets irritated with me when I do that. It doesn't happen frequently but you would think He would just roll His eyes. But He doesn't. He'll take a look at each of them and then take the one He wants into His hand long enough for me to put the other ones down.

I did have acrylic nails a couple of times. Just the fingernails. I've never had anyone give me a pedicure. I would probably kick them in the head. I have very ticklish feet.

I liked the acrylic nails for a while. Master said they looked nice but didn't really care for them. Not because of the cost but because He prefers me being natural. Nail polish, a little eyeliner, and a little lipstick is fine. Anything outside of that? Yeah... not so much.

I'm not going to paint my toenails tonight though. I'm feeling extremely lazy. I'll probably paint them this weekend though.

Rough Day

Master and I both had a pretty rough day. His was partially because He only had two hours of sleep and partially because it was a lot of a hurry up and wait circle jerk circus.

I also did not get a whole lot of sleep. I went to bed at my usual time but that doesn't mean I actually slept. It was a lot of tossing and turning. Some of it was staring at the clock and wondering why the hell I wasn't asleep yet.

I finally fell asleep shortly before Master came to bed. So I had been laying there for about 3 1/2 hours without being able to sleep. Getting the car out of the snow was also fun. It stopped snowing at some point last night. But the car needed a lot of scraping off and also took a little longer to warm up. It also sucked that the fuckers who plow the parking lot always decide to dump all of the damn snow right in front of parking spaces whether there is a car there or not.

Sometimes I really can't believe we pay this much in rent and it seems like the landlords become cheaper and cheaper with the vendors they hire. It's especially apparent in the winter when the salting of the sidewalks is mainly left to the tenants and the plows don't come and do the drive way and parking lot until late at night or, sometimes, not at all.

By the time we both got home we both looked like we were going to pass out. After dinner though I'm actually more awake than I thought I would be. I know I still look drained as hell and probably a little pale. But I'm awake. Blah. But awake.

Nothing To See Here

This sucks. I'm down to only blogging once every other day, rather than every day, and  yet tonight I can't think of a fucking thing to write about. I want to keep this blog on track with what it's about. I mean yeah I'll still do posts about other things rather than our dynamic but I'm trying to keep those down to a minimum. There hasn't been anything kinky going on. The dynamic is as it should be.

And even if I did write about something off topic so to speak, I don't have anything to write about either. I could do a "I did this and then I did that" type post but that is just pointless and it wouldn't involve anything interesting anyway.

All I've been doing is going to work, putting overtime in, coming home and relaxing a bit just waiting for the weekend. This week was my half day week so I got out early on Friday. But between yesterday and today there really isn't anything special. I did some present shopping and regular errands type shit but other than that. *shrugs* Aside from presents we picked up a couple of new movies on DVD and have watched them both already.

We only have one good TV show series on Netflix that we haven't finished yet and the rest are movies or TV shows that we have already watched. Otherwise we'd have to go searching for new stuff.

So, like I said, there isn't a damn thing going on that is worth blogging about.

It's not like I'm bored. I've been enjoying the down time. It's just not blog worthy.

1,689

Okay, so a quick explanation on the blog post title. When I logged in to do my post for the night I see what I always see. But for some reason my eyes stopped on the number of posts I've done on this blog.

It is 1,688. Which makes this post number 1,689. Holy shit. And what's funny about that is that when I moved this blog here I could only transfer my blog posts from as far back as 2009. That means that two years worth of blog posts aren't even here. I have no idea how many more posts that would have been. I didn't blog as faithfully back then as Master didn't require it. Right now He has it to where I do a blog post every other night rather than every single day like I usually do.

So let's go through some more statistics here. According to the blog counter there have been 549,747 hits as of right this very second. That is amazing! And that's only since I put the blog counter up. I would say for a good two years I didn't have a blog counter at all. As a result, I have no idea of the real total. But still, that's damn amazing.

The top five places that my "fans" are located as far as the past month goes:

1.  United States of America
2. Russia
3. Germany
4. United Kingdom
5. Canada

I don't know why I find this so fascinating tonight. It's odd how when I first logged on I had no idea what I was going to write about as I am rather brain dead at the moment due to a really long day at work.

But when I see the number of posts I all of a sudden go on a statistics frenzy.

Blogger tracks all of that. Hell, it even shows me what the most popular web browsers are used when viewing my blog. It's not like I know who is looking. It's nothing like that so please don't let that "scare" you off of reading here. It's this way with all blogs on Blogger. It's just general and vague statistics.

I'm so happy that so many people from all over enjoy coming here and do so repeatedly. I'll admit that I get curious about what the most popular posts are from time to time. I tried just adding the direct widget, but I don't like the size of the text on it and I can't figure out how to alter that. I want it to be like my recent posts where it shows the thumbnail and a small snippet of the post. The snippet portion is the one with the text size issue. I may try again at a later time to see if I can fix it. But for now, I removed it.

Good Girl

There is nothing wrong with praise and/or receiving "rewards" from your Master. I have read things along those lines. Blogs that state that if you are a slave you shouldn't expect to receive such things. And some go so far as to say you shouldn't get them at all because you are a slave and there for are too low to even be acknowledged let alone praised. Fuck that noise by the way.

I don't expect anything. If He wants to praise me He will. If He wants to reward my good behavior, that's His idea not mine.  Do I hope sometimes? Well, yeah. Not really on the whole reward thing but with the praise. Sometimes when I do something I really hope I'll get a "good girl" and a nuzzle or maybe He'll pet my hair for a little while. But that's a hope. That's not an expectation. That would mean I got pissed off if it didn't happen. And I don't. I don't even really feel disappointed. It's all up to Him and, after all, I'm only doing things I'm supposed to be doing.

I'm not really doing anything special. I'm supposed to do what I'm told and to follow rules that He has set up. I do my best to adhere to those and not forget them. I honestly think that minus that one hiccup a little while ago when I forgot to ask if I could stay dressed, I've been doing pretty damn well.

I haven't been punished in a long time. I've gotten a very stern reprimand here and there and sometimes a look that cuts right through me. But no punishment.

As far as my rewards go they range. Here is a small list of things that I am rewarded with. I'm leaving the praise out just because that's a completely different thing to me. I know I'm going to forget somethings but here are the ones I can name off of the top of my head.

• An extra long back massage.
• A full body massage front and back, from my neck to my feet.
• Extra long cuddle time.
• Being allowed to cum more frequently while He is fucking me. 
• Brushing my hair. (I can't be the only one that loves having their hair brushed.) 
• Being able to kneel at His feet with my head in His lap while He pets my hair.
• Him jumping in the shower with me to wash me down and wash my hair.

Those are my favorites. Like I said, I know I'm missing some. So please don't think that's all. Because I know it isn't, I just can't think of any other ones right now. Then again I'm half brain dead at the moment. So I'm just really hoping this post makes sense. 

In regards to praise sometimes it's simply verbal and sometimes it's something extra affectionate that He does. Sometimes He'll call me a good girl. (Gotta love the "good girl" praise. It never gets old.) Sometimes He'll just give me a smile and kiss my forehead and then petting my head a little bit before sending me off to go relax or do something else for Him.

There is nothing wrong with such things, in my opinion. Just because I'm a slave doesn't mean I can't be rewarded and praised by my Master.

Loved, Needed, & Wanted

This may sound somewhat stupid. Hell, it may sound extremely stupid. But these past four days I have had off of work have really helped me. They have allowed me to decompress for more than a day and a half and it has also allowed me some extra down time that I really needed. I think it has helped me get back into the dynamic head space that I need to be in. 

I mean, don't get me wrong, it's not like we've been able to focus on us 100% of the time. Thursday we were at His mom's, Friday we were at my dad's, yesterday we had to ourselves, and today we had to run an errand with His mom. That errand took significantly longer than either of us expected but oh well. It's done.

But I don't always need it to be just the two of us time in order to get back into where I need to be. I felt myself getting it right a little bit more each day. I feel that I took a bigger step yesterday because it was all about us, but it was bit by bit. And today I feel like I should feel.

I'm not saying that I was completely out of sync. I wasn't. I was minding my place, I was being a good girl (for the most part), and I was serving Him as I am supposed to. But I haven't gone this deep into that head space in a long, long time.

It's just that so many other things bleed into one day after another that it's not always easy to just let it all flow off my back like water so I can focus properly. These past four days I have had time to do so. It was bit by bit but it eventually accelerated and here I am now.

I always feel so much more peaceful when I'm in that deep slave space that my mind goes to. I wish I could feel like this all the time. Hell, I wish I could stay home and be a stay at home slave. That's never going to happen mind you. It's not financially feasible just as it isn't for most couples, married or otherwise. And unless we run into a fuck ton of money, it's never going to be feasible. It's just how the world works.

But on nights like tonight, where I know that in a handful of hours I'll have to go to bed in order to go to work in the morning that wish becomes very strong. At least being a slave is easier. Well, not really easier. But at least when I'm doing that I'm in a more peaceful state of mind. I feel like I have purpose. I feel like I'm doing something that matters.

Bringing home a paycheck matters. It really, really does. But the things I do to earn a paycheck feels so bland and gray. My whole work day just seems paled out. Almost as if there isn't any color until I get home from work. And then, even though it's night time, I feel like the color snaps back.

If I were able to just stay home and serve Him the color wouldn't bleed away. I know a lot of it is that one, I don't really feel like what I do at my job matters, two, that I have a shit ton of stress at work, and three that I don't feel appreciated when I'm at work.

With Master I feel appreciated. It doesn't  feel like I don't matter. It doesn't feel like I'm replaceable. With Master I feel loved, cared for, wanted, needed, and protected.

Damn real world and all it's bullshit has to come in and pause it from 9 to 5 Monday through Friday.

At least if it's a day off of work and we have a lot of errands to do, I'm still with Him. As mundane as the errand(s) may be, I'm with Him. And if I'm not I don't have anything sucking the life out of me before I get home to Him.

I'm going to try fucking hard as hell to just keep my mind where it is right now throughout the work week and then maybe, hopefully, I won't feel so washed out come Friday.