Goals

When Master and I first started dating I was still living in my home town. He was up here where we currently live. About two and a half years into our relationship I moved up here to live with Him.

We've been here ever since. For the past couple of years we've kind of gone back and forth as to where we want to officially settle down. By settle down I mean pick an area to live in permanently. I don't necessarily mean buying a house right away. We aren't ready for that yet financially. But we keep going back and forth. Do we want to stay in this general area? Do we want to move only a little outside of this area? Or do we want to move out of town?

When my current job first moved out to where it is now we briefly toyed with the idea of moving out to that area. It was quickly dismissed though. I don't like the idea of moving simply for a job. Especially since at that time I had only been with the company for a little under a year. The thing that scares me the most about moving out to an area just for a job is that if I ever decide to leave the job I'm stuck out there. And I didn't want to live out there to begin with and neither did Master.

So like I said that was quickly dismissed.

Since that time we've been talking about it here and there. My idea was to move back to His hometown. I like that place. He knows the area like the back of His hand and it's closer to our families. Honestly the family part is more for me than Him. He doesn't mind not living close to family. He's lived clear across country for crying out loud. (Before I met Him obviously.)

Me? I've always been close to home. This is the furthest I've been. His hometown is literally right between where we are now and my hometown.

He has fought my idea of moving back to His hometown since I mentioned it. Why? I guess it's because He worked hard to leave it and had such a wanderlust when He was younger.

But today... today He said something that surprised me. He said He wanted to seriously look into moving back to His hometown. It's like it's calling us down there, if that makes sense.

It obviously will not be an overnight thing. Since I'll be looking to hop jobs soon anyway, I'll be focusing more on finding a job down there. That will be a little bit more of an incentive to move there. And even though it'll be His hometown it's still going to be easier on the car than driving to where I work now. And easier on me.

That will be the first step I think. Finding a job down there. Second will be saving up some money for the expenses moving will rack up. First and last month. Still paying rent here for two months while we get a new place set up down there. Then the rental truck. I don't know anyone who owns a truck anymore so it's a must. Plus it'll be a lot easier doing everything in one go. So a nice rental box truck will be the easiest.

After that the hunt for a new place to live would start.

I have no idea how long this process is going to take. But it's a goal. And a goal is a good thing to have. Since we started talking about moving a few years ago we've kind of just been treading water. And the longer we are here the more eager we are to leave. It's coming to a head and so we're taking the thought more seriously and setting it as a goal.

It's honestly just getting more and more on our nerves living here. Mainly due to the neighbors and the fact that our rent goes up every year but nothing is getting done. It's all staying the same and we're paying more money for more of the same.

Yes, I know that can happen anywhere. But that's not the point. We're getting anxious about it.

The goal is set. Now it's just working towards it. It'll be a long road but I'm ready for the challenge.

This Is Going To Be A Long Week

This is my first full week of work in about a month. Due to the holidays and how my half day weeks landed, I was getting all sorts of time off! It was awesome. Now reality has to set back in and I have a full five day work week this week. I know, the world's smallest violin is playing right now. Hush.

Since I have to wear "business casual" type clothes tomorrow I have to dig through my closet tonight before I go to bed. It's been a long time since I couldn't wear jeans and t-shirts to work. As a result, I don't have any shoes that would be appropriate that don't go over my fresh ink. There is no way in hell that I'm going to fuck up my new ink. Nope. Not doing it. So tonight I ran to a local store. I was just planning on picking up some slip on flats and calling it done.

But those were $20. Not a big deal. But I saw a different pair of shoes for $12 that fit the bill. They have a thick heel in the back and I think that aside from the next two days at work they'll come in handy for when I need to do job interviews. So I got those instead.

After that I stopped at McDonald's. I didn't want to wait when I got home to try and figure out what to eat and all that. So I was lazy, got McDonald's and came home. Plus, it gave Master a break from cooking.

I'm sore and kind of tired although I don't want to go to bed early because then work will just get all the sooner.

Feels Like Home

I grew up about 45 minutes away from where I currently live. I was born and raised in my hometown. I lived there until I was 22 years old. The only reason I left was to come up here and live with Master. We were engaged at the time. (Yes, we got engaged before we started living together.) So anyway, up I came. We lived together for two years before we were married. So in total, I've lived up here for 6 years. So 6 years versus 22 years.

I still know parts of my hometown like the back of my hand. There are certain parts that are unchanging and I'm glad that they haven't changed. They were my favorite parts of my hometown. But other parts... there is nothing familiar about them. So I think that may have something to do with it not really feeling like home anymore. I mean it will always be my hometown, and who knows where the future may take Master and I. It may take us to His hometown, or mine. But for now, our home is here.

I really like the area. Everything we need is very close. Within 5 minutes drive time we have two grocery stores, a Walgreens, two gas stations, a dollar store (hush you can find some good stuff at a dollar store) and several fast food joints just in case we feel like something quick and easy. Our bank is at most a 10 minute drive away. Like I said, everything we need is very close to our home. We're spoiled because of it. Whenever we talk about moving we start to ask ourselves if this store is close by, or that store. Like I said, we're spoiled. My job is 45 minutes away, but I do not want to live out by my job. We've talked about it in the past, but eventually both of us agreed that it would be a bad idea. The cost of living out there is much higher.

We want to eventually move out of this apartment. It's not really the apartment that feels like home to me, but the area itself. To me it doesn't really matter what you live in. It could be a house, an apartment, a condo, a trailer.. you get the idea. It's the area that matters. I moved several times in my hometown. It was never the house or apartment I lived in. It was the area surrounding me.

I don't know if that has something to do with the fact that the house I grew up in was foreclosed on when my father left to go live with another woman. He was the bread winner and my mom couldn't afford the two mortgage payments. So they foreclosed on the house. I used to think of that house as my home. I lived in it from the age of 5 until I was 17. That was home. But as soon as I realized that no matter what you live in, it can be taken away. From that point forward I decided that it was the area that mattered. I sometimes pass the house I grew up in and I'll look at it. I have some memories that run through my head, not all of which are happy ones. But that's it. It's nostalgia. Nothing more. It's not home. Never really was. It wasn't the house that mattered.

I'm sure that one day Master and I will move out of this apartment but we already know we'll be staying right around where we are now if we can help it. There are several condo complexes near by as well as townhouses only a little bit further away. Not to mention that there are other apartments and then of course the houses. We'll stay in the area because Master and I have made it our home.