Pin Me Down

Last night Master and I knew we were in for a late night. We were both in just one of those moods where we both wanted to stay up late. But around midnight or so I looked at Him and asked if He would like to go fool around now so we aren't too tired when we finally did go to bed.

He wanted the light on so He could see everything. I complained at first, because sometimes I like the light on and other times I don't. It wasn't serious complaining, I was just being whiny about it as I laid down next to Him. He eventually grabbed my throat, told me to shut up, and shoved His tongue in my mouth. We made out for a while, and then He went down on me. I laid my arms at my side and ran my hands along His arms. Then He did something that He hasn't done in a while. He suddenly grabbed my wrists and pinned my arms down to the bed as He continued sliding His tongue along my slit.

He did let go eventually so He could finger me while He licked me. After I had an incredible orgasm He told grabbed my hair and maneuvered me onto my stomach, facing Him, so that I could suck His cock. A few times it felt as if He may just shoot His load down my throat, but each time He would have me slow down or change rhythm. He gently pulled my head up and had me get on all fours where He didn't pin me, but He grabbed my hips and moved me or forced me not to move, depending on what He was doing. It felt great. And then He placed His palm right between my shoulder blades and pushed me down, with my ass still in the air.

After having me cum a few more times, He had me lay on my stomach, pinned my wrists to the bed and hooked His legs under mine and forced them apart and roughly fucked me until He filled me with His cum.

He knows how much I love to be pinned down and roughly handled. But the best part of that? The best part is that He loves it too. He loves to make it seem like I'm helpless, that I can't fight back even if I wanted to. It's a huge turn on that He's not just doing it because He knows it gets me off. He's doing it because it gets us both off.

I think that's why I don't like other methods of bondage as much. It seems... impersonal. But when He's using His hands to pin me down or move me, or to hurt me, it's all extremely personal. It's in your face, skin to skin, and it makes me shiver. When He ties me up or cuffs me, I enjoy it. Don't get me wrong. But I much prefer His strong hands being on me and making it so that I can't move.

Wish List

I decided to start a new category on my blog where I post stuff that I want, clothing, heels, lingerie, kinky stuff, whatever. I know I've done posts like that in the past (which I'm hoping to be able to find and add to this category later) and I like the idea of doing it. It may not be extremely interesting to read as a blog post, but it'll be fun for me and make it easier for my to go back when I have the money and find the stuff I wanted to buy. (This first entry is probably going to be long, and a wide mix of stuff because I'm in the mood to window shop and very link heavy.)

Plus for some people I'm sure it will be interesting to read just because they may enjoy window shopping as well or just looking at various stuff. But either way I'll find it fun and useful. It won't always be very sexy stuff. I may just be a top I want, or a dress, etc. For now I'm going to try and break them down into categories in this post.

Random Clothing (Outside the bedroom):

I kinda of like this dress, but I'm not too sure about the color. I like the color red, but normally my clothing is darker than a strict red. If I do wear red it's a darker red.

I love this tank top, although it's not what I would normally consider my style. Which is odd for me, but I really do like it a lot.

This for some reason just speaks to me. Probably because it makes me think of 80's rock music for some reason. This dress is awesome. And I have to have this dress!

This dress is also kind of cute but I'm on the fence about it. This one makes me smirk because it reminds me of bondage and is hot.

Heels:

These are hot. I like this pair a lot but those buckles might be a bitch. Again this kind of reminds me of the lifestyle, but I could wear them out. I normally don't go for ones that are platform-ish but I do like these. I used to own a pair similar to these and I miss them. These are also pretty similar to my old pair. Kinda cute don't you think?

I love this pair.

Lingerie:

Master bought me a pair of leg warmers not that long ago.. and I love them. A lot. So I want more. I normally don't like cutesy designs but the hearts on these are cute. I also like these, this pair, and this one.

Master would love this on me. These are hot. I want this! I also like this one a lot. Master would also really like this on me. He's big into me in stockings. He also loves my ass, so this would be quite the tease. This one is very nice as well.

Okay I think that's enough for now. But I'm sure I'll do more once I hit another window shopping streak.

Relaxing & Lazy Day

Today has been nothing special but it's been a great day. Master let me sleep in a bit and then had me run a couple of errands while He took His shower. When I got back home we just watched some Netflix, played some video games together, and talked for a while. We played with the dog and joked around a lot. Now Master is watching more Netflix and I'm just kind of nerding out online for a little while.

I'm not really sure what to post about to be honest with you. I'm just nice and relaxed in a way where I just kind of want to chill and not think much. I am letting my mind unwind after the work week and enjoying not really having to think about much at all.

I'm sitting here at the keyboard not knowing what to write at all. Sometimes this works for me and all of a sudden a subject pops into my mind and I go from there. This time? Not so much.

I have a feeling it's going to be a nice long night, hopefully ending in sex. Master and I haven't fucked in about four days. I know that's not a long time, but as I've said many, many times in the past.. I have a very high sex drive. But between my stomach not being the best for a day or two and then Master's lower back bothering Him, it's not been a very sex filled week.

I'm not complaining mind you, just saying.

So yeah. Before I just continue to write about how I don't know what to write about I think I'll end this post here. If I think of something later I may come back and post more. Or I might save it for tomorrow.

Ambition

I know I said I wouldn't post a lot about work. And honestly, this isn't just about my current job and this has been on my mind for a while now, so I figured I should blog about it and then maybe it'll stop rattling around up there.

I have not always had a good work ethic. I blame that partially on my age at the time. And I wasn't always ambitious as far as school went either. Well, at least not until I went to college for a while. Then it was my money, so I worked harder because of that. I even was on the Dean's List my first semester. I'm still proud of that and it's been quite some time.

But when I first started working I would do as little as I could to get by. I think part of that is due to my upbringing. I didn't grow up dirt poor or anything. I grew up in a house, my father worked full time, my mother worked part time, and we had things we needed plus some extras. Part of the reason why we could afford those extras is because the only clothes my brother and I had that weren't from rummage sales, Salvation Army, or hand me downs from family members were the ones that my grandparents bought us. I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with that. But it kind of sucked, especially as a teenager. We never had the latest and greatest, we never once went on a family vacation. The one and only vacation I've been on is my honeymoon. I'm not trying to throw a pity party, I'm simply stating facts and giving a bit of back story here.

My father did not have a strong work ethic. He worked at the same place for 20 years but that's only because he was friends with everyone there and he could fuck around about as much as he wanted as long as he helped the customers when they came in. And he only stopped working there because someone else bought out the place and fired him. My mother worked extreme part time. Three hours a day five days a week. And then should would babysit my cousins every now and then

So yeah. Neither of my parents had a lot of ambition, and quite honestly still don't to this day. My brother has no ambition what so ever. He's in college but he only started going to college because his ex kicked his ass out because he wasn't doing anything with himself and wasn't trying to and he thought that would be a way to get her back. That plan didn't work, and he's only sticking with it because he gets a financial aid check and he thinks it's easier than getting a job.

And as I said I didn't always have a lot of ambition myself. My work ethic use to suck. But something kicked up in my ass after I started going to college and I realized I could excel at something and that it felt good to do so. Like I said I was on the Dean's List my first semester and I never got anything less than a B in any of my classes after that. The only reason I stopped going to college was because I needed a full time job to help pay the bills. And I didn't want to divert my attention between work, school, and Master. I felt I would have spread myself too thin. There have been times where I have wanted to go back to school, but I don't think it's ever going to happen. I don't need a college degree for my job and I'm building a nice resume and I enjoy where I work and I make good money. Sometimes it doesn't feel like enough because finances can be extremely tight but we're getting there and it can only get better as I continue to get pay raises, etc.

And I've worked hard since having gone to college. As soon as I realized that I it felt good to feel like I accomplished something, I realized that I shouldn't be like my parents. I should try to excel, rather than settling or just doing enough to get by. I should strive to do my best and to keep doing bigger and better things. My first job was actually while I was in college. It was part time and I could pick my own hours pretty much. I was a stripper. It left my schedule pretty open and it was decent money. But after a while I realized that yes I'm an exhibitionist and I enjoyed dancing, but I didn't like all the other shit that came with it. Paying the club for "allowing" me to take off my clothes at their establishment, dealing with drunk people, not always getting paid for private dances because the club would run a special, realizing that yeah security isn't all that great. They wouldn't really do anything unless someone was trying to molest you past smacking your ass or trying to put their arm around your waist. And I only say try because I'd stop them before hand. And that was part of the reason why I didn't make as much money as the other girls. The other girls would pretty much put up with anything as long as it meant the money kept flowing. I had some really hard limits. To me certain things felt like I would be cheating on Master if I did them. And the other stuff was just common sense type shit. No, I won't go out to your car and do a line of coke with you.

And before anyone says, "Oh it must have just been that club.." No. It wasn't.  I worked at a few. So basically the only time I enjoyed the job was when I was dancing to a song I liked on stage and Master was there to enjoy it. Beyond that I hated it. And so I left it. The money wasn't as good but I felt better about doing it.

After I stopped going to college I became a waitress/hostess at a restaurant. I worked there for three months and then quit that job once I got another job at a store as a cashier. I quit that job when I got hired on at a different job for a call center making quite a bit more money. I then quit that job after I got a job for the company I work for currently. It was less stressful and the call center was going under so I was smart enough to jump ship before hand.I have been employed, without a break (I would start my next job the weekend after I left the other one) for four years. I know that doesn't sound like a lot. And it's not. But I also went to college for 2 years and was dancing while going to college. So I guess that makes it 6 and I'm only 27. I also have never been fired from a job. *knocks on wood*

So now I got you to the point where I'm at the company I currently work for. Right after my 1 year anniversary with the company I asked for a transfer to a higher position within the company, and I got it. And that's what I'm doing now. And next month I'll have been with the company for 2 years, and I'll be getting another raise. As I said I'm doing well at my job. I'm excelling at it and I enjoy doing that. I work hard every day, even the days where I'm bored out of my mind. I look for other things to do. And the greatest thing about the company I work for is that my hard work is recognized, commented upon, and appreciated. Not a lot of jobs are like that.

I used to try and make my parents proud of me. I was so excited when I got transferred to a higher position within the company. I called my mom after I told Master, and her reaction was... less than I was expecting. It was luke-warm at best. "Oh, that's great hunny. I'm happy for you." And that was it. She moved onto something else. When I told my dad he just nodded his head. I don't think they understand why I'm trying so hard. My brother doesn't care. My mother-in-law acts like it's a competition. "Oh well that's nice and everything. I've been doing..."

Master is the only one to express that He is proud of me. He is the only one to push me to do my best and not just settle. And it means the world to me.

And because of how I grew up, always having 2nd or 3rd best, I think that's why sometimes I get frustrated when finances are really tight. I have nice clothes, but mainly for work. We have a much better computer now, and yes it's 2nd hand from my mother but if I had paid the amount we're paying my mother in a store I would have gotten a less powerful computer. So I'm happy.

I want more clothes to wear outside of work. Sexier clothes. New heels. I want a new TV, some new furniture. I'm not a materialistic person, even though what I just typed out probably makes me seem that way. I just would like to have something that I can look at that's brand spanking new and go, "I worked hard and this is my reward, aside from the paycheck."

I had made a post not that long ago about how once a month I would like to get myself a new article of clothing so I can replace some of my older clothing. I haven't been able to do that but that's because we got this newer computer when our old one finally died. I'm not complaining. I love our new computer. So I think once it's paid off I'll start that whole one new article of clothing per month idea. I may not be able to do it every month, but piece by piece I want to replace my entire wardrobe that isn't work related and add to the selection of heels I have.

Master always says that I never buy myself anything, and He literally gets excited when I want something. He encourages me to get something for myself. And so I am starting to lean that way a little more. Although I honestly feel better when it's something for us. And that's part of the reason why I chose clothing over anything else. Yes, I'll be the one wearing it, but at the same time I'll be better eye candy for Him. So we both win.

Odd Week

It's been an odd week. Not because anything weird has happened, but because I didn't work yesterday. The office was closed because of the weather. And as a result I feel like I'm already on next week. Yesterday felt like a weekend day to both Master and myself, and then I had to go back to work today, and for some fucked up reason it felt like a Monday. I was busy as hell in the morning, but in the afternoon I was bored out of my mind. So to my brain which apparently doesn't want to realize that today is in fact Thursday, I keep forgetting that tomorrow is Friday. Let alone the Friday that I get to leave work at noon.

I'm not complaining or anything, it just feels weird. It's bad enough when it feels like you've lost a whole day. But I feel like I lost a whole week. It's fucked up.

Master is feeling restless this evening. He was actually feeling restless yesterday, and it's continued into today. He doesn't know why. I get like that sometimes too. It's not like He's been crabby or an asshole or anything, He just seems tense.

So I'm not doing my usual "Did I do anything wrong?" gig. Okay that's a lie. I did ask that once yesterday, right after I could tell He was tense. I've been trying to be a good slave lately and as a result His mood has been pleased and relaxed. So when I noticed He was tense I ran through the things that happened that day and tried to figure out if I had done anything, or not done something. He said that it wasn't me, He was just feeling restless. And I haven't asked since. Which is good. I use to pester the hell out of Him about such things, to the point of pissing Him off. But this time once I knew it wasn't me, I let it go.

Now I'm just trying to get Him what He wants when He wants it. That way I'm not causing Him stress, and not pissing Him off.

It's not like I'm walking on eggshells or anything, I'm just relaxing and not hanging all over Him or trying to get Him to interact when He doesn't want to. I know I don't like it when I'm in that kind of mood, and so I'm trying to give Him His space just as I would want my space if I were feeling that way.

And by the way, that whole feeling restless thing out of no where and for what seems like no reason, really fucking sucks. I hate it when I feel like that.

 

Snow Day

I got up this morning when my alarm went off. After I was awake enough to remember how to use a phone I called the weather hot line my job has. It said that the office was open. I was honestly shocked. So I took the dog out and realized I couldn't get past the front door without ending up in a snow drift that was up to my hips. Now granted I'm short, but still. Damn!

I went back inside and checked the weather website. It said that there they were telling everyone to stay home because there were numerous reports of people attempting to commute to work who were getting stuck and they didn't know how long it would take the emergency vehicles to reach anyone. Also the interstate was closed. And so I sat there thinking to myself, "Why the fuck is my job still open?! This is insane!"

I knew I wasn't even going to attempt to go to work right then, so I called my supervisor's number and left him a voice mail stating that if it got better as the day went on I would attempt to come to work. I continued to call my work's weather hot line just in case and finally at about 9:30am it said the office was closed. So at least I didn't have to worry about it anymore.

In the late afternoon, once the snow stopped and the wind wasn't too bad, Master and I went outside and took pictures of our dog playing in the snow. The pup had a blast!

Around 4pm the contractors our landlord hired to handle the parking lot and driveway came back and plowed. But they plowed all the cars in, ya know cause that's easier than pushing all the snow back by the grass. So Master had to dig out the car.

We've spent most of the day just staying inside and staying warm. I took a nap, and that's been about it.

Winter Weather

Until recently the winter here has been rather mild. Well, mild for here anyway. But today the snow started pouring down in the morning. It was to the point that my job actually closed 2 hours early to give everyone time to get home safely. However, by that point it had stopped snowing and the roads were pretty clear. But it's not today that everyone is worried about. It's tonight and tomorrow morning.

The driver of my carpool to and from work took of work, as did the other passenger in the car pool. That just leaves me. If I had the time to use I would have taken off work as well. But I am out of personal time and vacation time for about another month. In fact I went over my personal time due to that neck spasm I had last week. I made the time up and everything, but I hate going over and I don't want to go over further if I don't have to. I strive to do my best at my job and get good reviews and not have any black marks in my file.

So I sat down with my supervisor today and explained my situation. He said that while he would understand if I couldn't come in tomorrow, and it wouldn't necessarily look bad due to the weather, he would prefer for me to at least attempt to come in. Or, failing that, if it clears up during the day to come in the afternoon.

So I told him I would make the best informed decision I could. And he seemed satisfied by that.

So tonight when I got home from work I talked to Master about it. He says that when I get up I am to check the weather website, and then check traffic conditions and make the best decision I can based on that. If I feel I can handle it to go ahead and try but if it gets to be too much once I leave and I'm closer to home than I am to work, I am to turn around and come back home. He worries a lot about me. Not because of my driving skills but because you can't always control the vehicle in bad weather and you can't control how other people are driving. So yeah, He worries.

So tomorrow should be interesting. I'm hoping to call the weather hot line that my job has and for it to say that the office is closed. Then I get to stay home and don't have to worry about looking bad at my job. That would make my life a lot easier.